A Time And Place
by flaunt
Summary: 18-year old Sarah MacKenzie is at a crossroads in her life, when a chance meeting changes her life forever.
1. Arizona, 1986

**A TIME AND PLACE**

**AN:** This story came to me earlier today. It was inspired by two other pieces of work here (Once Upon A Time and These Magic Moments) that revolved around a central theme: What if Harm and Mac met as teenagers? From that idea came this idea. I hope you enjoy it.

**Spoilers:** We The People, People v. Mac. Maybe more.

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**CHAPTER 1: ARIZONA, 1986**

JULY 1986  
RATTLESNAKE BAR  
RED ROCK, ARIZONA

There was an old Native American legend around these parts - only the Gods or Fate ever made it rain in Red Rock.

And tonight, both seemed to be working as it positively poured down on the warm little desert town, as if all the waters on earth were being dumped on this little godforsaken point of nowhere that wasn't even modest enough to justify a welcome sign.

The little biker dive bar imaginatively called 'Rattlesnake' proved to be the only reason to ever stop here, the cheapest booze for a hundred miles. Possibly the only booze for a hundred miles too.

Sarah MacKenzie sat at the bar alone and stared at the drink in front of her. The clear liquid looked like water but was either distilled turpentine or god-awful vodka. Once upon a time she didn't care which it was as it made its way down her hatch. Now though... she just stared at it.

Minutes passed by and she was no closer to drinking it than she was leaving it there and walking out. She was stuck, trapped in between two stages of her life - the life she was to scared to go back to and the life she was too scared to step forward with.

She closed her eyes and sighed once more. She and her Uncle Matt had just come down from Red Rock Mesa, the mountain formations near this town. The rocky mountainous formations she had spent the last month camping in, hunting ichnites and drying out. Her uncle had been there every step of the way, challenging her, consoling her, letting her throw every insult, plea and trick to try and score another drink and him ignoring all of them just the same.

The first days had passed by like months. The first week passed by like years. The rest of it though passed by like no time at all.

And so here she was now, facing her final challenge. And she had to face it alone, because Uncle Matt had told her that he couldn't be there forever to keep her on the wagon. She had to keep herself on it. Conquer it on her own.

"And what if I fail, Uncle Matt?"

"Then we try again. We try until you're strong enough to refuse a drink, even with it sitting under your nose."

Sarah stared at the drink and was keenly aware of the time passing by. Nine minutes fifty seven seconds. Fifty eight. Fifty nine...

"Hey there."

She turned to look at the man leaning against the bar next to her. The first thing that struck her about him was how ruggedly beautiful he was, and he was that. Not just handsome, not just gorgeous, but as if he had been chiseled out and carved by God's loving hand. As if he had walked out of a dream.

The second thing that struck her was how tall he was, that even with him leaning over, she had to look up to see his face. The third thing that struck her was his smile, and she was floored by it.

"Hey." he repeated, as if unsure how to proceed.

"Hey." she answered back, similarly unsure what to do next. She looked shyly away from his face and took in the rest of his appearance.

He wore an old style aviator's bomber jacket, and she could swear it was exactly the same one Tom Cruise wore in all the movie posters for that new movie that just came out about some Navy pilot. Top something or other.

Sarah rolled her eyes. She knew this guy was probably one of those actor wannabes - probably on his way to Hollywood right now to catch his big break. He was beautiful enough to be a TV star, and she'd watch anything he was on that was for sure.

"Can I help you?" she asked quietly.

"Well, I've just noticed you staring at your drink for the last ten minutes. That's not usually how drinking works." he said with that killer smile of his.

She looked back at the drink because she couldn't keep staring at him. She could feel her insides already melting under his gaze, and feel warm stirrings in a little zone just south of her navel.

"That's a very nice smile and I'm sure most of the time it gets you what you want. But I don't know you, so if you don't mind, I'll keep my drinking to myself."

Ensign Harmon Rabb Jr. glanced at her drink, grabbed it and before she could stop him, downed it in one. And he almost passed out because of it. The concoction whatever it was, was foul and burned like drinking pure grade gasoline.

He coughed and she patted him on the back as he struggled with the fact that every breath of air made his lungs feel like they were on fire.

"Well, that serves you right for taking my drink!" she growled, somewhat amused.

He tried to talk but the words melted in his mouth as the vodka burned everything it touched in his body. She rolled her eyes and called to the bartender.

"Two soda waters with a twist of lime."

He gulped down both drinks and finally he could breath again. In the back of the bar was a guy with boyish good looks holding his sides laughing at the sight. Harm shot him a withering glare.

"Your friend?" Sarah asked.

"Yeah. Shut up Jack!" he shouted at his friend before turning back to her. "I'm Harmon Rabb Jr. by the way." he held out his hand to shake hers. She refused it.

"I'm not shaking hands with a filthy drinks thief."

"I did not steal your drink. I was saving your liver."

"Well, it's my liver to ruin in the first place."

Harm stared at her, and she started feeling self conscious. She wanted to tell him to shove off when he finally spoke, "You know I don't think I've ever met a girl as strong as you are."

"Huh?" she asked, confused by his compliment... if it was that.

"Most former alcoholics would have taken a sip instead of trying to stare it down into submission."

She was surprised. "How did you know..."

"Ten minutes is a long time to decide if its worth taking a drink. And that was not a beginner's drink."

Mac looked away, and she knew this was what her uncle was preparing her for. She had to say it, had to face it. "I'm an alcoholic." she finally admitted aloud to another living person for the first time.

"Was."

Mac quirked her eyebrow at that comment.

"You were an alcoholic. But you beat it. And you'll beat it again the next time a drink sits in front of you."

She smiled at his confidence in her and held out her hand to shake his. "Sarah. Sarah MacKenzie."

And he gave her the full killer smile that made her insides melt.

"So what brings Sarah MacKenzie into a bar that she really shouldn't be in?"

"Just trying to figure out the rest of my life."

"Well, a fake ID is only going to get you so far." he tapped the laminated card with her picture on it sitting on the bar.

"How do you know it's fake?"

"Because it says you're Marsha Ellis of Minnesota."

"Maybe I was lying about my name?"

"I doubt it."

"Why so?"

"Because you're beautiful enough to be a Sarah. And there's no way you were born in 1956."

She smiled at his compliment. And she found it flattering that the best looking guy she had ever laid eyes on paid her such attention. It made her almost believe that she was beautiful, even though she was sure he was lying through his teeth.

"So what brings Harm...? I'm sorry, what's your name again?" she asked, embarrassed that she hadn't been paying him any attention until then.

"Let's go with Harm." he said with a smile.

"Okay. What brings Harm to the great boondocks that is Red Rock, Arizona?"

"Me and my friend Jack are taking a road trip, riding cross-country. One last weekend of liberty before reporting to duty."

Duty? With his TV star looks, what kind of duty? "You're in the Army?"

"Navy."

"Ah, a squid."

He was surprised that she knew the term.

"My uncle's in the Marine Corps."

And that explained it. "So that makes you an honorary jarhead, then."

"Mmm, let my uncle hear you say that, and you'd be a very sorry squid."

"Sarah?" a voice suddenly broke into their conversation. She turned and tensed up. Harm noticed it.

The man standing in front of her was probably 21, and he smelled like a number of recreational drugs. The numerous tattoos of skulls and naked women impaled on giant phallic symbols on his arms showed that while technically he was an adult, he also didn't choose to be a very bright one.

"Hey, Sarah. Should've known I'd be seeing you here."

"Fred."

"Hey, hey, hey. There's no need for insults!"

"That's your name." she said, her mood darkening.

"You always were a hot one, Sarah. Man, I didn't know what Chris saw in you at first, but damn, you are a fine piece of ass..."

Harm moved to shut Fred up but Sarah stilled him with her hand.

Fred continued, "You know Sarah, with Chris in prison, maybe you know, you and I could take care of each other..."

"No."

"Don't be like that. I'll buy you whatever you're drinking." he tried to paw at her but Harm was in front of her in an instant.

"I believe she said no."

Suddenly aware there was this large barrier in his way, Fred glared at him. "I believe it's none of your business."

"And what if I'm making it my business?" Harm replied steadily.

Fred finally took stock of the situation. In front of him was 6'4" of what looked to be quite developed muscle. He turned to Sarah.

"Should have known Chris' slut wife would take all of 5 minutes to spread her legs for someone-"

Harm grabbed Fred and pushed him hard against the bar. Fred grabbed the bottle, broke it and tried to go after Harm, but being both sober and trained in unarmed combat, Harm quickly disarmed Fred without even hurting the tattooed punk. Harm quickly squeezed consciousness from Fred and lay him on the floor passed out.

"You okay?" Harm asked Sarah and she nodded, staring at him wide-eyed. Harm called to the bartender and tossed a couple of tens on the bar. "When he wakes up, get him a cab."

"Hey Junior," Jack Keeter came up behind him. "You got things handled?"

"Yeah." Harm turned back to the pretty brunette and was surprised to see her gone.

"Your pretty lady just left." Keeter said.

Harm looked at his friend who motioned his head to the door. "What are you waiting for, Junior? Go get her."

oxoxoxo

She was so embarrassed. For a second she almost believed that... that just because she cleaned up her act, every stupid thing she had ever done in her life would just... just clear up. Fade away. Never existed.

And now, the hottest guy she knew, knew she was... was damaged. She walked out into the rain, getting drenched as she quickly crossed the street. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew that she needed to get out of here.

When she sensed him following her. She stopped and turned.

He stood there with her in the rain, getting drenched. And they stared at each other, like two idiots out in the rain - literally two idiots who didn't know better to get out of the downpour.

"Leaving?" he finally asked as his intense eyes bored into her. She felt her breath catch.

"Yeah." she said.

"Was it because I hurt your friend..." he asked.

"No. He's not a friend. He's... just a past life reminding me..."

"Reminding you of what?"

"That I might change but nothing else has." she admitted sadly.

Harm closed the distance until he was standing right in front of her, close enough to touch. But he didn't. She looked up at him and saw the kindness in his piercing blue eyes. But more than that, she saw... admiration.

"You know, you're stronger than you look." he said.

"What do you mean?"

"Most women... check that, most people wouldn't have faced their problems the way you did."

"Alcohol was easy to beat." she looked down shyly.

"No it's not and you know it." he reached a finger under her chin and lifted her head back to look at him.

"... It's true though. What he said." she blinked away tears, hoping that he would think it was just moisture from the rain.

"What did he say?" Harm asked.

"I'm Chris' slut wife."

"You're married?" he was surprised.

"God, I'm so stupid." she closed her eyes, dropping her head once more, ashamed to even look at him.

"Sarah MacKenzie. In all the time I've talked to you, stupid is the last thing I think you are."

"Gullible?"

"Nope."

"Moronic?"

"Beautiful."

She looked at him once more. "What?"

He continued, "Smart. Sexy. Strong. Articulate. Sober."

She so wanted to believe him. She so wanted to believe he was this kind perfect gentleman who cared for her, who told her nice things. Who would stand up and defend her honor.

But she knew better. "Nice try sailor." she said.

"Huh?" he asked confused.

She fixed a smile on her face, but it was forced. "You're only going to be in town for a few seconds and you're trying to get me into bed."

She saw his gaze and expression darken, but he didn't take his eyes off hers. "If that's what you believe... then I can't stop you from leaving can I?" he said, his voice a low growl, before he turned to go back to the bar.

Sarah would have let it stay there, but she couldn't. As much as she knew that they would probably never see each other again, she couldn't let him walk away angry with her.

She ran two steps to stop him, but her pride wouldn't let her run any further than that. He was walking away.

She shouted after him. "Wait, Harm. I'm sorry."

That stopped him. He looked over his shoulder at her.

"No you're not. But it doesn't matter, because part of you is right."

She couldn't believe her ears. "What?"

He came back to her and pulled her out of the rain. He wiped her damp hair from her face. She leaned into his touch that was so gentle, so caring. She looked up at him and saw the tortured look on his face.

"When I first came up to you, I wanted to sleep with you. You were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen." he said. "You still are." he added so softly, she almost didn't catch it. Almost.

"You could have any girl you want." she said.

"And I still choose you."

Was she really that easy? That she would fall into bed with him after just a few compliments and smoldering looks? She wanted to, but she couldn't. Not if she wanted to be able to look at herself in the mirror in the morning. Not if she wanted to remember tonight for as long as she could with fond memories instead of bitter regrets.

"Harm, it's not... I'm not..." she stammered.

"I know, Sarah. So I'm not going to ask. But..."

"But?"

"Well... maybe I could call you sometime. And we can talk. As friends."

She eyed him skeptically. "As friends? Does that line even work?"

"I don't know. And it's not a line." he replied sincerely.

She wanted to believe him. "Even after everything you know about me, you still want to be friends?"

"Everything I've learned about you only makes me want to know you more."

That won her over. If he asked her to be with him tonight she would have. She knew she would have. She might regret that he would be a one night stand, but she wouldn't regret being with him tonight, if he so wished.

"Would you still sleep with me after all you've found out?" she asked.

"Even if I found out you were a Russian spy. Even if I found out you were a homicidal maniac, I'd take that chance."

She stepped up to Harm and he confused the look in her eye.

"I didn't mean that as an insult..." he began but was shut up when she reached up and kissed him. It was sweet, tender... it promised so much, could lead to so much more.

He held her, letting their kiss linger, letting her lips stay even after the kiss ended. They opened their eyes slowly and for a moment, time stood still as they stared into each other's eyes.

Harm finally spoke, "God, forget alcohol MacKenzie. You're more addictive than that."

She smiled. "That's possibly the nicest thing anyone has said to me."

"Then you've been hanging out with the wrong crowd."

Her smile grew rueful. "So, sailor, where you shipping out to?"

"San Diego. Then who knows."

"Have a safe cruise." she said as she realized that the rain around them was abating, having faded into nothing more than a fine drizzle. She pulled away from him, but his hand on her hip kept hold of her.

"What about you?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

"What about me?" she asked back.

"What are you going to do?"

"Right now or with the rest of my life?" she said with a smile.

"Either one. Both."

"Right now, I'll go back to my uncle's and call it a night."

"And the rest of your life?"

Mac thought about her options. Though her uncle was a Marine, he had never suggested following that path. Not when her drunk abusive father was also a Marine.

"... Is the military all it's made out to be?" she asked.

"It is when we have strong, brave people like you in it." he replied completely sincere.

"Now that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"Glad I could be of service."

They walked together towards the main street and was surprised that there was a cab pulling up to the corner. It was a beat up almost archaic Cadillac from the 1950s, but it tried - even bothering to have the little light on the top and the paint job that informed everyone it was a cab.

They crossed over and hailed it. As he opened the door for her she turned into him.

"Be safe, Harm."

"Be safe, Sarah."

She kissed him once more, again sweetly, before getting into the taxi.

As she drove away, she stared back to look at the leather bomber jacket wearing tall drink of water known as Harm. She saw him keep waving and she couldn't help but wave back. It was dorkish behavior but it was cute.

Her thoughts swirled in her mind on the car ride back to Uncle Matt's. 'What am I going to do with the rest of my life?'

'Is the military all it's made out to be?'

'It is when we have strong, brave people like you in it.' she heard his voice say.

She had never even considered it before, but it appealed to her. They had discipline, had great opportunities, didn't really care about her grades or her past. And most of all, they would rebuild her into something her uncle would be proud of. Something Harm could be proud of. Maybe even something she could be proud of.

She was going to be a United States Marine.

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**AN:** I hope this is not too fluffy. Or too hard. (I don't know. I'm not used to writing for a T rating).


	2. Quantico, 1988

**AN: **Note of warning - this series is very AU. I'll still try to keep most of the canon where possible - with the primary change being in Harm & Mac's relationship.

As always, I hope you all enjoy it, and if you do, I wouldn't be mad if you told me about it :)

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**CHAPTER 2: QUANTICO, 1988**

JUNE 1988  
MARINE CORPS BASE QUANTICO  
VIRGINIA

Lance Corporal Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie entered the lecture hall and was surprised to find several Navy Officers milling about at the front of the classroom. They ranged in age, rank and from the sight of their warfare insignias, job designations as well.

As she slid into her usual seat, she cast her gaze back over the young Naval officers at the front of the class and noticed that their number had grown by one - and he was the one she last expected to see.

There was no way to not see him really, not when he was the tallest, handsomest one there. And there was no way she wouldn't remember him, not when he had invaded her dreams off and on for the last two years, invaded her thoughts since she kissed him on that rainy night in Red Rock. The memory itself made her lips tingle and burn.

_His lips moved against hers, yielding and pliant but not demanding. Her tongue longed to taste him and it flicked out to do so..._

Mac shook off the memory and hoped that her naturally tanned skin hid the blush creeping over her face. She closed her eyes and willed the memory of him away. When she looked back up she was glad that the class was now in session.

It was more a forum really, a Q&A with the Marines and sailors that had returned from deployment in the Indian Ocean. They talked about the operations of a carrier battle group and how Marines serving onboard Navy ships were just as integral to the fleet's operations.

Mac's attention was barely on the talk, except when _he_ finally stepped up. Actually her attention wasn't even there when he spoke because she couldn't remember a damn thing he said. All she remembered thinking about was how dreamy he looked in his crisp service khakis and how his voice was smooth like melted butter.

___His lips parted slightly and his tongue came out to greet hers, shyly at first but once acquainted, the shyness faded, replaced only with the need to taste more of each other. She slipped her tongue deeper..._

She shook her head clear imperceptibly and glanced around the room. It was then she realized she wasn't alone in her dreamy gaze upon the handsome Ensign known as Harm. Well, since they introduced him, she now finally had his full name to go by - Harmon Rabb Jr.

Her eyes casually took in every inch of his appearance as he stood and spoke. God, him in those khaki pants should be deemed illegal because whenever her eyes drifted downwards, all she could imagine was what lay underneath that thin fabric. Was he a boxers or briefs man? Or neither?

She noticed the glint of gold above his ribbon bar and saw the gold wings insignia on his chest. He was a naval aviator. So not only was he a sex symbol, he was the Navy's equivalent of a rock star as well.

___She longed to hear him whisper her name when he kissed her awake in the morning..._  


Mac hoped they weren't gonna quiz any of them about this forum, because her answers would probably get her drummed out of OCS.

'What did you learn today?'

'Oh, how delicious a particular Navy ensign with gold wings tasted when we kissed. And God I want him to do it again. And God, what does he wear underneath his uniform? And God, how does he look out of it? And God, when can I find out?'

Yeah, most definitely not the answers the Marine Corps were looking for.

Mercifully the forum was soon over and Mac could quickly exit the auditorium. However it was as if the Gods or Fate had placed him in her path, because he was literally in her path. He stood by the exit, flashing his dazzlingly winning flyboy smile at every female within range.

Mac kept her head low and her gaze averted as she neared the door. Damn the fact that Marines were expected to exit in an orderly fashion, because that meant he could see her. She wondered, how would he react if he saw her? How would _she_ react if she received his killer smile?

Of course, what she was really afraid of was... what if he didn't remember her?

Perhaps that night two years ago, the one that occasionally drifted up her memory banks to sustain her on cold lonely nights meant more to her than it did him.

Actually now that she thought about it, she had no doubt he didn't remember her. He was a gorgeous man. He probably walked back into the bar after seeing her off and another woman must have thrown herself (and her clothes) at him and made him forget all about the girl he had kissed in the rain. Forget all about her.

That left her angered and insulted, so she straightened up and marched right out. He wouldn't remember her, and why should she be shy? At least she wasn't just another notch on his belt, or bedpost, or whatever fighter pilots used to keep score.

She saw him looking at her and fixed him with a steely glare.

And her knees almost buckled when she saw his brilliant dazzling smile. Not the smile itself, but in how it had morphed when he saw her. How it had turned to wonderment, how his eyes widened and his smile stopped being automatic when he looked at her. He looked stunned to see her.

Which could only mean - he remembered. He remembered her! That almost floored her.

Mac marched double-time out of there, pulling her cap further down over her head as she quickly made her way across the grounds. She purposely avoided any other person heading in the opposite direction, not wanting to see anyone or have anyone see her. Not wanting anyone to see how shaken up she was seeing him.

Not wanting anyone to see that even after all this time, Harmon Rabb Jr. had the same devastating effect on her as a confident Marine as he did on the naive 18-year old trying not to have another drink.

Her luck was good, she made it as far as the equipment sheds without anyone in her path. But her luck didn't hold for long, because she heard him behind her.

"Lance Corporal." he called out, stopping her. She had to stop, only because as an officer he outranked her. Damn.

She took a deep breath before turning around. She whipped off a smart salute. "Sir."

Harmon Rabb Jr. looked at the Marine in front of him, with her serious demeanor and perfect military posture. His eyes glided slowly over her utility uniform, cursing that she wasn't in anything more form fitting as much as he was glad for it because he was sure she wouldn't appreciate him openly ogling her. Harm returned her salute. "Are you free to talk?" he asked.

"At the moment sir, yes sir." she replied.

He smiled. "You know, I could get used to this."

"What sir?"

"You calling me sir." he joked.

Her posture stiffened even more and he could see the corners of her mouth pull downwards. "I'm glad you enjoy it sir." she said, obviously not liking it as much as he did.

"But for the moment, can we drop it and talk like two regular people?" Harm finally asked.

"It might set a bad example to the other Marines, sir."

"Then lets talk somewhere private."

She finally looked him in the eye and he saw her stiffness fade. He fell quietly into step beside her as she led him to a corner of the grounds where the trees grew large and shady.

"How have you been?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Good. Busy. As you are, I'm sure." she responded, still a little too formally for Harm's liking.

"You're in OCS, so that means you're doing pretty well."

"I try."

He was sick of her cold civility, "Sarah. Do you not want to talk to me?"

Her step faltered but she quickly recovered. "I'd prefer if you called me Mac."

"Mack? As in 'the Knife'?" he asked, referring to the old jazz standard.

She smiled at that reference. "No, as in MacKenzie."

He let her name play in his head before nodding at her. "Mac, I like it. Suits you as a Marine."

"Thank you." she said plainly before falling back to silence.

Harm let the moment stretch out before he stopped and asked, "But you still don't want to talk?"

She took a deep breath, trying to regulate her breathing. "I do. It's just I don't know what to say."

"Say anything. About anything you want."

"It's boring."

"Not to me. Of course I haven't heard it yet so I could be wrong." he gave her a playful grin to convey that it was a joke.

She softened a little, though her face betrayed nothing. "I'm a sophomore at the University of Minnesota." she finally said.

"Cool. What's your major?" he asked as they resumed walking.

"Political science."

That impressed him and he let her know. Somehow that seemed to break the ice and she started sharing with him about all that happened in the last two years - her initial struggles going through Marine Corps boot camp, her scholastic future, her current posting. He noticed everything she told him was from a professional standpoint, leaving out everything personal.

He finally felt brazen enough to ask. He stepped in front of her and asked straight out, "Are you still married?"

Mac froze at that question. She avoided eye contact but answered him, "No. I was granted a divorce."

"That's good right?" Harm asked, but when he noticed her caginess, he began to wonder if she regretted it and somewhere deep down, she was still in love with Chris...

"It is good. Just..."

"Just?" he prompted even as his chest tightened in anticipation of bad news.

"Just I wish you didn't know that I was married."

"Why?"

"Because... I guess I don't like the fact you know I'm so screwed up."

Harm felt his heart beat again and he laughed in relief. A quick look back at her face though revealed she was taking it all wrong, that she thought he was laughing at her. He quickly stopped laughing to quell her growing anger.

"I'm not laughing at you, Mac."

"But you were laughing."

"In relief. I thought..." he stopped, unsure if his admission would ruin the fragile state of their relationship... or whatever it was they had between them.

"You thought?" it was her turn to prompt now.

"I thought you might be regretting getting divorced." he answered.

"Why would you think that?"

He at least had the decency to blush at her question. "No reason in particular." was his hollow reply.

Mac stared at him confused. Harm knew he should be completely forthright with her, but what if she gave him an answer he didn't like. Would he be able to stand aside and accept that she was in love with another man, a man who had claimed her heart as completely as her body, a man who wasn't him? Or was ignorance bliss?

"I don't think about it." Mac said quietly.

"So you do regret getting divorced."

Her eyes shot daggers at him. "Getting a divorce, no. Talking about it, yes."

She stormed off and Harm knew he'd really stepped in it. He used his long stride to quickly catch up to her. He wanted to physically pull her back but they were on base. So he did the second thing that came to mind.

He pulled rank. "Lance Corporal."

She stopped and turned around to face him. She did little to hide the anger she felt as she glared at him.

"I'm sorry, Mac."

"Are you?" she asked, her anger made her voice quiver, and it took all her Marine instilled discipline to not shout at him.

"I am. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Upset me?" she asked incredulously, because that was all he succeeded in doing. "Well congratulations sir. Mission accomplished." she said snidely.

Harm knew honesty was the only way to get out of this with her trust intact. "I was scared that you were still in love with Chris." he finally admitted.

That revelation shocked her, enough to break through the red mist that threatened to overwhelm her just seconds earlier. "What?"

"I was afraid you still loved him." he repeated.

Mac was taken aback. "Why would you think that?"

He was silent. Mac looked out at the grounds. Sunlight filtered through the overhanging tree branches, giving the floating dust motes in the air a gold sheen. Her mind replayed their conversation and she realized she never actually said she didn't love Chris.

She decided the truth was as good an answer as any she could come up with. "I can't say that I am. I mean, I thought I did, but then again..."

"You must have loved him at one point."

"I was drunk most of the time. What would I know about love?"

That admission broke his heart a little and awakened a fierce desire to protect her, to hold her, to love her.

She saw his eyes darken and for a second she thought he was angry. Until she heard his next words.

"Would you like to learn what love feels like?" he asked in a low voice. Even if she tried, there was no mistaking the seductive tone he used.

It wasn't anger in his eyes - no, very far from it. She saw the sparks of desire that seemed to glow, like the embers of a fire that was ready to leap into life if she just reached out to stoke it.

She could hear her breathing hitch and rattle in her chest. She gulped. He unabashedly let her know with that one gaze that she held so much power in her hands. That she could dictate how they'd proceed next. It was intoxicating, better than any drink she had ever had.

"That's quite a loaded question." she said once she got her voice back.

He nodded slowly, not taking his eyes away from hers.

There was something raw and animalistic in their connection - as if their bodies and souls were made to be fused together, and only their minds were holding them apart.

Their minds and military discipline.

Their minds, military discipline and about a hundred reasons why this could be the greatest mistake of their lives.

They stood there, unmoving, separated by no more than a couple of feet. Their eyes conveyed so much simply because their minds were thinking the same thing, and saying the same thing to each other.

"Do you still think of that night two years ago?" Harm asked.

"N-no." she lied.

Harm noticed how the corners of her lip curled upward in a devastatingly cute way. He could have commented on it but let it pass instead because the last thing he wanted was to have a conversation about her lips. Because then all he would be able to think about would be her lips.

"I do." he said.

Mac could see him staring at her lips and she fought the need to run her tongue over them to moisten them. It would have courted disaster. She reminded both of them of the fraternization rules, "I'm enlisted, you're an officer."

"Not for long."

Mac's eyebrows jumped at that. 'What did he mean?'

"You'll be an officer too once you graduate OCS." he clarified.

He was right. Mac though was quick to point out, "It's not a given."

"With you it is. Pretty soon, you'll be Lieutenant Sarah MacKenzie. And who knows after that? Major. Colonel..."

"Brigadier General?" she asked with a cheeky smile.

"Only if you want to be my boss." he said in a casual drawl that only increased his sexiness.

"You know maybe it would be nice to have you salute me for a change." she said even as she felt her pulse start to race.

"I admit the thought is appealing." his voice was sultry.

She was becoming breathless, "What are we doing?" she sighed.

"Talking."

"No. Talking doesn't usually feel like this."

"Like what?"

"Like... like I'm on fire."

He smiled at that admission. "I better step back before I do something that'll get us into trouble."

"Yeah."

He didn't step back.

"Harm?"

"I'm trying."

Mac laughed and finally it cut through their tension. "You know, I'm surprised you don't have a million girlfriends out there pining for you."

"Who says I don't?" he said lazily.

"Do you?"

"Just like you have a million guys wrapped around your little finger."

"Who has time for guys?"

"Who wants other girls?"

That answer made her want to hit him. Just when she regained control of her senses he hauled her back into that sexy fog of seduction that he exuded. Damn him.

"Harm, you're not making this easy."

"I know. But then again, maybe I don't want easy."

"Are you calling me a challenge?"

He grinned as he neared her. For a second she thought he was going to throw both their careers away and kiss the living daylights out of her. He was barely a foot away now which forced her head to tilt back to continue looking into his beautiful eyes. He stared at her, flashed that smile of his... and stepped away.

"You're the ultimate challenge, Sarah." he replied but as he walked by, he dipped closer and whispered against her ear, "And the only challenge I want."

She stood there frozen, unable to stop him from walking off. When she turned he was already well on his way back to the lecture halls - and she had no intention of making a scene there.

Part of her knew she could have tried to chase him down, was tempted to chase him down before she realized she couldn't. Not because of regs, and not even because of her own pride. She couldn't because he had left her so weak in the knees, she would buckle if she even tried to move.

'Damn him.'

oxoxoxo

0230 ZULU  
TEMPORARY HOUSING  
MARINE CORPS BASE QUANTICO

A toothbrush stuck out from the corner of Mac's mouth as she inspected the uniform she had hung out for use tomorrow. In the background, she heard her roommate Lance Corporal Maya Candejas, exit the adjoined bathroom with her curly locks now frizzed from toweling dry.

"It's all yours." she told Mac who gladly returned to the bathroom to finish brushing her teeth.

Maya leaned against the open bathroom door casually as she continued drying her hair.

"So what was with Ensign Hot Stuff?"

"Ensign Hot Stuff?" Mac glanced at her roommate questioningly.

"Ensign Rabb."

Seeing Mac's eyebrows shoot up made Maya smile, "Come on Mac, everyone saw how you two were looking at each other."

Mac straightened up from the sink, "You saw us?"

Maya's knowing nod prompted a more paranoid response from Mac. "Who else saw us?"

"Just some of us gals who were... okay, you have to admit he's hot so it's not our fault if we were keeping track of him." Maya explained.

"So everyone saw us." Mac rinsed and toweled her face to hide how mortified she was. She peered at Maya worriedly, "Are you guys gonna make my life hell?"

"Well, some of us would be tempted to, but we're Marines. We don't take down other Marines for a squid. Even one that looks as good as that one."

Mac quickly dried her face and squeezed past Maya at the door, moving towards her bunk in a bid to end the conversation.

Maya however wasn't gonna let it go. "So spill. How long have you two been together?"

"We're not together."

"Yeah, right. Girl, you could have burnt down the entire base with the heat you two generated." Maya said with sass.

"We're just friends." Mac climbed into bed and pulled the blanket up over herself.

"Just friends? Really?" Maya contemplated Mac's words before adding suggestively, "Well then I need to make myself his friend, pronto."

Mac could feel her face burn but kept her voice neutral "He might like that."

Her cool act wasn't fooling Maya who stared down at her fellow Marine. Of course she was having fun teasing the normally stoic Sarah MacKenzie - and like any good soldier knew, if you get presented free ammo, you use it.

"You know once we get out of here, it won't be against regs to hook up with him." Maya reminded her.

"... He's free to date whomever he chooses." Mac said as she rolled over to face the wall.

"Ooh, that sounded almost like jealousy there MacKenzie. He must really have you hooked."

Mac tried not to sigh as she rolled onto her back once more and stared up at the underside of the bunk above hers. "... He's one of the reasons why I joined the Marines."

Maya looked at her, surprised. "Really? Because I would think he'd be the reason to join the Navy. Seeing that tush in those tight pants all day, every day?" Maya hummed appreciatively.

"How about not being able to do anything about it because you're in the same chain of command?" Mac replied.

"MacKenzie, if I had to work beside that everyday for the next decade, I'd jump at the chance."

Mac laughed, "Is that all you'd jump at?"

"Well, I'd probably jump him the minute I can help him out of his uniform... but then again that's just me."

Mac saw Maya grinning like the Cheshire Cat and rolled her eyes. "Goodnight Maya."

"It will be in my dreams tonight." Maya said as she climbed into her own bunk. "Unless you're calling dibs."

"Goodnight." Mac said as she reached over and turned off the lights.

In the dark, Mac was finally alone with her thoughts. He was every bit as handsome as she remembered, maybe even more so now that she had seen him in uniform. And even seeing him in broad daylight didn't diminish his mystique. He was as sexy during the day as he was on dark stormy nights, with his hair wet from raindrops...

_She deepened her kiss, and reveled in how his tongue coaxed and played with hers, dueled and caressed, stroked and tangled. She felt his hands pull her hips tighter to him, and she wished they would start exploring every inch of her..._

His words from earlier tickled her memories.

'Would you like to learn what love feels like?' he said and she wondered - would any woman have refused his offer?

'Who wants other girls?'

She gulped. Even if he was only half as passionate in bed as her fantasies, he would be something else. She faded off to sleep with dreams of a certain sailor keeping her company. And in her dreams, she finally felt like she belonged.

* * *

**AN:** More coming soon. Well, unless you want me to stop.


	3. Okinawa, 1990

**AN:** Wow, thank you for the outpouring of support for this story. Hopefully I repay your trust in me. :)

For those who are keeping track of the timeline - don't worry I won't always jump 2 years. And Harm & Mac haven't exactly been dormant in that time either. They've kept in contact, though they've not been together in the same room. However, things are about to enter a significant phase...

* * *

**CHAPTER 3: OKINAWA, 1990**

JULY 1990  
CAMP COURTNEY MARINE BASE  
OKINAWA, JAPAN

A bright sun shone down through the cloudless sky, slowly baking the military base. Heat shimmered off the tarmac as the Marine guards in the guardhouse tried their best not to melt.

Inside the main administration building, the AC was cranked up to high in a bid to stave off a slow unpleasant death. As Marine officers, the loosening of a button or tie was frowned on, even in the direst of heatwaves. First Lieutenant Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie though looked cool as a cucumber as she stood before her CO.

Lieutenant Colonel John Farrow looked up from his paperwork to the pretty Marine standing in front of him. He said, "With the fleet in, we'll need to be on our toes, Lieutenant. It's up to us to make sure that none of the 7,000 sailors that hit Okinawa leave too big a trail of destruction."

Mac nodded her understanding. "Yes sir. I've already alerted the Marine guards and have enlisted the help of several MPs from the surrounding bases to deal with the... invasion."

It was all because of that damned Tom Cruise movie. Now everyone who saw an American fighter jet always asked if it was an F-14, much to the continued annoyance of the Air Force boys. So the Navy decided for the Fourth of July celebrations this year, they'd treat the locals to an impressive air show flown by actual Navy aviators and their Tomcats.

Of course, no one ever thought about the threat of what having over 7,000 virile young sailors invading a small town all at once on a long weekend might do to the local community!

Farrow shook his head at the horrifying thought, "Squids spawning all over our beaches."

"We didn't take this job for the glamour sir." Mac said, trying her best not to laugh but the gentle upturn of her lips betrayed that she did find it funny.

Farrow leaned back in his chair. "What about you, Lieutenant? What are you doing this Independence Day week?"

"Other than catching up on paperwork sir? Hopefully nothing too dramatic. I am probably going to just enjoy the holiday, sir." Mac replied.

"You're not going to call family?"

"There's not much family to call sir." she said a little sadly. She had sent Uncle Matt a card, because with the massive time difference between Okinawa and Arizona (16 hours) coordinating a phone call was near impossible. "What about you sir, are you going to celebrate it with family?"

"Never married, Lieutenant. Guess that makes the Corps my wife." Col. Farrow said.

"Well sir, that's a shame. Women everywhere lost a great catch, sir." Mac said sincerely.

"Well, if the right woman comes along, I'll let her know that. Is that all?" he asked as he straightened in his seat.

"Yes sir."

"Alright then. As you were." he let her resume the rest of her day.

Mac made her way back to her little office. To call it small was being kind - it was a shoe box, but it still had actual walls, a door and a small window that looked out over the bullpen.

She had her head buried in a file when she heard the knock on her door. She looked up to see an obviously pregnant Peggy Hardin - one of the many civilians who worked on base, filling temporary vacancies until a more permanent replacement within the Corps was found. But with the office running smoothly, Mac was loathed to bring in replacements who might unbalance the fragile ecosystem just for the sake of it.

Peggy smiled at Mac, "Excuse me, ma'am?"

"What is it Peggy?" she looked at the woman already in her second trimester.

"You have a visitor."

"Do they have an appointment?"

"No, but ma'am, he came in especially to see you."

"Have him make an appointment." Mac said dismissively, not wishing to be interrupted.

"Okay, but you might want to reconsider."

Mac noticed the excitement in Peggy's voice and it pricked her suspicion.

"Why?"

"Because if you don't, you might not have an opportunity later." Peggy winked. At Mac's growing confusion, Peggy decided that the Marine Lieutenant while smart was also obviously clueless.

"Ma'am, I'm happily married and pregnant and _I_ want to show this sailor a good time." Peggy waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Sailor?" Mac asked. With Peggy's continued interruption, Mac decided she wasn't going to get anything done until she met this visitor. As Mac walked through the bullpen, she noticed it was looking a little emptier than usual. And noticed Peggy following her closely. 'What's going on?' she wondered. She came round the corner and discovered the answer.

Him! He was here!

She stopped so suddenly Peggy almost ran into her. Not that Mac noticed because all she saw was him surrounded by what looked to be every woman in the building. He gave them all easy smiles, before he looked up and saw her. Time stopped for Mac, because she couldn't tell how many seconds passed with him staring into her eyes.

He was in dress whites with his gold wings glinting under the artificial light and she was instantly mesmerized. No wonder Peggy had gotten her, no wonder the women of the bullpen had crowded around him. Whomever had decided that dress whites should be the Navy's uniform obviously had foreseen a future with Harmon Rabb Jr. standing here in them.

"Har..." she began but caught herself, "Ensign."

"It's Lieutenant now. Well, Lieutenant J-G." he said, not taking his eyes away from hers.

"You got promoted." she glanced at his shoulder boards and blushed in embarrassment. She should have noticed his rank immediately.

"I can see I'm not the only one, First Lieutenant." he nodded at her.

"What are you doing here?" Mac asked, even though she knew the answer. Her brain was not cooperating with her right now.

"Is that the greeting I get after I sail half the world to see you?"

Mac heard the gasp of the women around them and remembered they were not alone. She noticed the stares they were getting - including the starry eyed expression on Peggy's face.

"The Lieutenant is an old friend." Mac clarified the nature of their relationship. It was coming up to four years since their first encounter in that dark dive bar in Red Rock, and almost four years since their first kiss...

Mac felt her cheeks get hot at the thought. She quickly explained, "He's an aviator aboard the USS Seahawk who is taking part in the Fourth of July celebrations this year."

"An aviator? Are you going to fly the air show?" Peggy asked, and Mac found herself curious as well.

Harm shone his cocky grin, winning the hearts of the women around him instantly, "Yup."

"Congratulations Lieutenant. That is quite an honor." Mac said in all seriousness.

"Thank you, Lieutenant. It is. But I'm not here to discuss the air show."

"No?"

"No."

They lapsed into silence, not needing words as their eyes said volumes to each other. Peggy, who had been holding her breath in anticipation, finally gasped for air and broke their concentration. Mac recovered first. "Lieutenant, if you don't mind we can continue this conversation in my office."

"Gladly, Lieutenant." His eyes held hers a second longer before breaking away to take in the women who made up his welcoming party. "Excuse me, ladies."

Mac marched back to her office with Harm right behind her.

He had to fight his eyes from sliding down to take in how her cute little six swayed with each step. He tried not to admire how she filled out her skirt, tried not to admire the shape of her calves, tried not to imagine how it would feel to run his hands up those calves to her thighs... and beyond.

They walked into her office and Mac closed the door behind him. He glanced back at her, before asking, "Don't you want to close the blinds too?"

Her brow furrowed, "Why would I close the blinds?"

"Oh, so you want them to watch?" Harm motioned with his head at the bullpen outside.

"Watch what?" Mac tried to return to her desk but Harm wasn't a small man and this wasn't a big office and Mac realized if she tried to go around Harm, she would actually brush up against him at some point.

"You welcoming me, old friend." Harm said as he turned towards her.

"I think you have the wrong idea, Lieutenant." Mac said as she tried to figure out how to navigate safely back to her desk.

"Oh, and what idea am I wrong about, Lieutenant?" his eyebrow arched suggestively.

"Harm..." she gave him a warning glare.

"I'm just teasing. But, I was kinda hurt you weren't waiting for me by the pier."

"Lieutenant Rabb. I am an officer in the United States Marine Corps. We don't wait for squids by the pier." she said as she tried to squeeze past him. Already the light contact was sending her into sensory overload. Was it getting hot in here?

His voice deepened when she brushed against him, "Then where do you wait?"

She locked eyes with him, daring him to challenge her. "We don't wait at all. But if they're being difficult, we club them on the head and toss them back in the water."

He didn't back down, instead he leaned in a little closer until she could feel his warm breath against her cheek. "Ah, and here I was looking forward to your greeting."

"Harm, not at the office."

His flyboy smile appeared in an instant. "Does that mean I can get it elsewhere?"

Mac swallowed hard. "Define _it_."

"It. A kiss." He said in a low sexy rumble, "Or anything else you wish to grant permission to."

Mac was positively trembling with Harm being so close. His lips were only a few inches away...

"I think we have an audience." Harm said, breaking her trance. Mac glanced out the window behind her.

The bullpen was staring at them keenly, but when they realized Mac was looking back at them they quickly found that the folders in their hands suddenly contained the most interesting files they'd ever seen.

Mac pushed Harm back a little before she closed the blinds. "Great. Now they're gonna gossip and I'm going to have to explain to my CO what I was doing in here with you."

"What are you doing in here with me?" Harm sat on her desk, folding his arms over his chest as his eyes slowly glided over body. Mac was sure the AC had stopped working because it was getting unbearably hot.

"Harm..." she breathed.

Harm relented, "Okay, okay. I just thought you'd be happy to see me. Guess I was wrong."

"I am happy."

"Just shy?" he posited a theory.

Mac leaned against the wall opposite Harm. "The minute you leave, those people out there are going to grill me about every last detail."

"So what are you going to tell them?"

"I'll tell them the truth. You're an old friend."

"Is that all we are?" Harm rose from her desk and inched closer to her position against the wall.

"What else is there?" Mac asked as she looked up at him.

"I think you know." he leaned in closer.

"I don't. And I'm not a mind reader, Harm." Mac sighed breathlessly.

He smiled, "How about a lip reader, then?"

Mac was surprised when he closed the distance between them in one fell swoop, crashing his lips against hers in a blistering kiss. Mac was surprised, but she didn't stop him. Instead she participated eagerly.

The kiss took on a life of its own, as one kiss quickly turned into a series of kisses, alternating between fierce and fiery, soft and slow, passionate and playful and back again.

Their lips nipped as their tongues tangled, burning into memory the shape of each other's mouths. She felt his hands run up the sides of her body, casually brushing the side of her chest. She moaned against him.

Her hands weren't idle either. One hand tangled in his hair, playing with it, luxuriating in how it felt under her fingers even as she pulled his head down to hers. Her other hand stroked down his chest and abs, stopping only when her fingertips hit his belt.

When they finally did disengage, Mac realized that he was well and properly mussed and had no doubt she was equally disheveled. With her internal clock all out of whack, she took a look at the watch on her wrist. "Two minutes and seventeen seconds."

"What?" Harm asked, still trapped in a lust-induced haze.

"How long we kissed." she explained.

He closed in again, "Wanna top that?"

She pulled away quickly, if reluctantly. "If we do, will you be able to stop messing up my uniform?" she asked.

"If you removed your uniform we wouldn't need to worry about it."

He had her there. And the fact that she even considered it showed how wound up he had her.

"We're gonna have to stop." she finally said, retaining her wits about her.

"For now." Harm said softly, almost in hope.

"For now." Mac confirmed a little surer, drawing a smile from her favorite flyboy.

Harm quickly finger combed his hair returning it to a state where it didn't look as if he had just been mauled by a Marine - though he had been. Mac touched up her own appearance and they both straightened out their uniforms.

"I'll leave you to your work, Marine." Harm smiled as he moved to her door.

Mac called out before he opened the door returning them to the rest of the world. "Where are you staying in town?" she asked.

"Well, if I can't get a hotel room, I'd probably just drag myself back to the boat and bunk there."

Mac nodded, understanding. Harm though looked at her with hopeful eyes. "Of course I'm open to alternate forms of lodging."

"Such as?" Mac tilted her head.

"Sleeping on your doorstep?"

That made her smile. "I'd like to see that."

"I could make it happen." he grinned back.

Mac looked right into his eyes. "So could I."

Harm's smile dropped as he realized what she was offering. He took a calming breath even as his eyes darkened with desire.

"Dinner, tonight?" he said in the steadiest voice he could manage.

"Depends, do I have to dress up?"

"Only if you want."

Mac contemplated it for a second. "I know a place or two I could show you. You like Japanese food right?"

"Mac, I grew up in California. We practically introduced Japanese food to the States."

"I didn't know that."

"That I'm Californian?"

"That you grew up at all." she teased.

Harm laughed at her sassiness. "Cute, Marine. How about one more for the road."

"Oh no. I'm not taking that chance." Mac said as she neared him.

"I promise not to bite."

"Shame. It might be nice."

Harm was rendered speechless, his mouth opened and closed rapidly like a goldfish. Mac laughed, happy that she had finally rendered him hot, bothered and speechless - payback for all the times he had left her the same way.

She opened the door to usher him out. "Goodbye Lieutenant."

Harm straightened and imperceptibly brushed against her when he walked out the door.

"Goodbye Lieutenant." He shot her his flyboy smile.

And there went her upper hand. Mac gripped the door knob tightly, leaning heavily against it to prop herself up. She needed to build an immunity to his smile or one of these days she was gonna fall right on her ass. And then where would she be?

_On your ass in front of him, with your head right at the level of his pants zipper..._

_'Oh shut up!' _her sanity yelled at her imagination as she saw him walk out the office.

Just as Mac predicted, the rest of the day had consisted of an endless interrogation about the handsome sailor in her life, as conducted by the women in her office. Mac tried to pull rank to get them to quit their inquest, but civilians who knew they were indispensable were pretty much immune to such tactics.

Lead interrogator was Peggy herself, who smiled knowingly after each answer Mac gave, driving the Marine Lieutenant crazy.

"For the last time Peggy, there's nothing..." Mac gave up. Even she couldn't buy her own lie anymore. There was something there. Two minutes seventeen seconds worth of something. Even now she could remember the feeling of being pressed up against the wall of her office as his lips laid claim to hers.

Peggy finally let it go when Mac let slip that she and Harm were going out tonight. In fact Peggy had made the necessary arrangements and reservations, before practically rushing Mac out of the office to go home and change the minute her day was over.

oxoxoxo

Fresh from her shower, Mac stood in front of her closet wrapped only in a towel. She looked at her meager collection of clothes and realized her wardrobe consisted mainly of her Marine uniforms. There was nothing remotely suitable for a date - much less a romantic one. Depression started to set in. Harm was perfect in his dress whites and she was going to look like a troll standing next to him in her t-shirt and jeans.

Then she spied the brown packet at the back of her closet. She had received it as a promotion gift from Peggy and the office girls and vaguely recalled what it held. Mac took it out and carefully peeled back the packaging to reveal... exactly what she needed. She'd need help though putting it on and she quickly rushed to her phone.

Forty minutes later, Mac was dressed for her date. Peggy admired Mac in her chosen attire and knew that no sane man on the planet was going to be able to resist her tonight.

Twenty-six minutes later, there was a knock on Mac's door. "Six minutes late." Mac said annoyed as she moved to the door. Peggy though stopped her.

"No, you need to make an entrance. Make him see all of you all at once." At Mac's skeptical look, Peggy insisted, "Trust me. He'll flip once he sees you."

"Okay." Mac went back to her bedroom to await Peggy's signal.

Harm stood there in his dress whites and gold wings. If she weren't happily married and pregnant, Peggy would have thrown herself at him. Peggy couldn't keep another stray thought out of her mind. _'Good lord, with him Mac's kids would be beyond beautiful.'_

"Hi. Peggy, right?" Harm asked.

"Yeah."

"Is Mac uh, not ready?"

"Oh, she's ready. Question is, are you?" Peggy said with pride.

Harm didn't have to respond because Peggy called for Mac.

When Mac stepped out of her bedroom, Harm was floored. She was dressed in the most beautiful kimono he'd ever seen. The pattern of the fabric accentuated her exotic features while bringing out the lovely tan of her skin. She wore her hair up, exposing more of the slender nape of her neck than she normally did with her short haircut. She was more than beautiful. She was perfection.

Mac never felt more attractive than when she saw his reaction to her. His jaw dropped in wonderment as he took in all of her. Mac moved towards him and she saw that he still hadn't recovered.

"Something wrong, flyboy?"

He shook his head no. Speech though still eluded him.

"Harm, you know this isn't going to be much fun if I'm expected to carry all the conversation."

"Mac, you're... stunning." he finally got out.

"Well, glad you finally noticed, sailor."

The thrilled squeal that escaped Peggy broke through the spell and made them feel self conscious and made them look away shyly. "Well, shall we?" Harm asked as he offered Mac his arm.

"We shall." Mac replied as she took it.

oxoxoxo

Dinner was nice and the walk by the beach after was nicer, but all too soon Mac found herself back at her base housing unit. Harm led her to her door and waited for her to unlock it.

She had her back turned to him, revealing the enticing nape of her neck. His lips ached to taste her, sure that her neck would taste as delicious as her lips had, sure that her skin would taste like vanilla and cinnamon and brown sugar and caramel. He gulped trying to retain some semblance of control.

She turned back to face him and saw his intense gaze upon her, and instantly burned up. Her skin and lips tingled in anticipation of what she had craved ever since he had shown up at her office, for him to kiss her senseless and never stop.

He came closer to her, his eyes staring deep into hers dark with desire yet sparkling with a simple want that she herself felt. She was drowning in his gaze and she leaned in to him.

His lips touched hers and fireworks exploded in her mind's eye - bright beyond belief, filled with colors she didn't even know existed, extending across the entire sky.

She couldn't bear to have it end and as she felt him pull her tighter against him, her soul soared in the knowledge that he needed her as much as she needed him. As if on this very night two souls, born apart had found their way to each other.

Unlike their previous efforts, this kiss wasn't about the need to claim one another nor to signal desire. It was about sharing, their hopes, dreams, thoughts, love. It was a kiss for the ages, a kiss that meant forever, a kiss that promised eternity.

When they finally parted, Mac felt a tear slip from her eye and roll down her cheek. His thumb stole across her cheek to catch it. She looked up at him as she leaned against the hand cupping her face.

And saw that Harm was similarly affected. She reached up and brushed the tear from his face, surprising him. Then the absurdity of the moment made them giggle sillily. Giggle in relief. Giggle in elation.

"What a fine pair we make." he said as he rested his forehead against hers, his smile brighter than the noon day sun. He sighed as he held her, before he admitted quietly. "I don't want to leave."

She stepped back to look up at him, wanting to know what gave him the idea to leave in the first place. "Then?" she asked.

"I'm not about to assume anything Sarah. If you want me to stay, you'll need to ask me." he said quietly, his eyes pleading with hers.

"Why?" she uttered hoarsely.

"Because I don't want to be a mistake you'll regret in the morning. I want you to know what you're asking for."

Her mouth suddenly went dry. She gulped, "And if I know what I'm asking for?"

"Then ask."

"Do you... do you want..." she stammered.

"You know what I want. What do you want?"

Tears threatened to take over again. She reached up and pulled him into another kiss. "You."

oxoxoxo

Mac awoke and saw that outside her bedroom window, the morning sun was already high in the sky. Her internal clock kicked in a few seconds later to let her know it was just after seven-thirty.

She sighed and let her head fall back onto her pillow, when she realized it wasn't her pillow. Her pillow didn't rise and fall with every breath. And her pillow wasn't warm to her touch. And her pillow didn't have a heartbeat. And that was when she realized that she was completely naked under her covers... and so was he.

One of his hands sat on her hip, as the other traced lazy circles on the small of her back, just north of her derriere. He was awake and he was letting her know. She was finally brave enough to look up at him and he fixed her with a brilliant smile, earning one in return.

"Morning."

"Morning." she replied before scooting up to kiss him. He groaned against her mouth as the movement of her naked body against his awoke other parts of his body. Mac felt his arousal stir and her eyes glinted with mirth and mischief. She turned her attention to the part standing at attention under the sheets.

"Good morning to you too." she greeted it and giggled at Harm's embarrassment.

"Mac, I..."

"You what, sailor?" she gazed into the windows of his soul.

His eyes conveyed so much, every word he wanted to say, every word she longed to hear, every feeling that they had, that they shared.

She was disappointed that the words didn't flow from his lips, that their night of passion didn't make the words come any easier. But neither was she mad. She cherished what they had right now, what he gave her, what he offered. There was time, they had time, and she hoped they had a future too.

"So what do you want to do the rest of the day, flyboy?" she grinned as her fingers caressed the light curls on his chest. She knew what he was going to respond and her smile widened, "Besides that?"

"How about only that?" he winked at her.

"Well, what about breakfast?"

"What about breakfast?"

She looked at him with mock shock and horror. "Harmon Rabb, do you expect me to spend the night with you and you don't even have the decency to at least make me breakfast?"

He tapped her on the nose playfully, "Well, I was hoping to keep you in bed until well after lunch."

"I'll starve to death."

"Now we can't let that happen, can we?" he said before rolling her over, kissing her senseless and getting out of bed.

Mac forgot all about breakfast when she saw him standing there naked in her bedroom, in broad daylight. Her eyes eagerly devoured every detail of his toned body, the same body that she had felt covering hers the night before, had felt moving underneath her and with her.

Harm stared down at his naked Marine. She was beautiful. She was perfect. She was his.

"What do you want for breakfast Marine?"

The naughty smile that graced her lips let him know that food wasn't going to be the answer.

oxoxoxo

The rest of the week flew by, and for Harm it was both literally and figuratively. He spent most of his daylight hours preparing and practicing with his squadron for the Fourth of July air show.

Meanwhile, Mac was at work pretending as if nothing had changed, though anyone with eyes could tell that everything had. After all, how many Marines seemed to float by on cloud nine, or stared dreamily into space while stirring their coffee?

While their days were crammed full with their work, their nights were filled by each other. Their dinner reservations were made and missed, planned strolls on the beach too easily forgotten as their kisses fueled their passion. All they needed and wanted was each other and they were only too happy to indulge.

It was as if their bodies, minds and souls knew that their time together was finite. Because it was.

All too soon, Fourth of July arrived. Mac stared at the calendar on her living room wall in accusation as if it was lying. But she knew it was true. Today was Harm's final day here. He was shipping out tomorrow afternoon.

She wished he didn't have to fly the air show because then they would have all day today to be together. He hadn't even had the chance to stay over last night as he had an early start this morning. Yet another reason to hate the damn air show.

There was a knock on Mac's door and she opened it to find Peggy standing there.

"Hey, you ready for the celebrations?" Peggy asked excitedly.

Mac couldn't even fake enthusiasm, her "Yeah." came out sounding sad.

"Worried about your pilot?"

"Aviator. The Navy calls them aviators." Mac responded automatically, still unenthusiastically. "And no, I trust he'll be safe up there."

"Then?"

"He's leaving tomorrow."

And Peggy finally understood the reason for Mac's sadness, "I'm sorry, Mac."

Mac shook her head in a bid to shake off her depression. "I can't believe this. We've not even been together a week." she tried to laugh off how she felt.

"But you've known him for a long time." Peggy reminded her.

"Four years." she admitted.

"And how long have you loved him?"

Mac stared at Peggy wide eyed. "Love?" Mac asked.

Peggy rolled her eyes. "Don't make me smack you. I'm a civilian..." she rubbed her pregnant belly, "I'm TWO civilians, I'm allowed."

"I - I don't know what you mean, Peggy." Mac stammered.

"Mac, I saw the two of you look at each other. Now, you might want to believe it's physical attraction or maybe a passing fancy, but let me tell you, I wish my husband looked at me the way Harm looks at you. Hell, I'd probably be pregnant with septuplets if my husband looked at me the way Harm looks at you."

Mac gawked at Peggy. "Harm does not look at me that way."

"Oh, don't you get me started on how you look at him!" Peggy raved.

"I... I admit I'm attracted to him." Mac said shyly.

"Honey, who isn't?" Sensing Mac's imminent protest, Peggy held up a hand, "I'll let this rest for now because we're gonna be late for the barbecue and my little Marine here is not about to give up ribs for no First Lieutenant."

Mac laughed and grabbed her purse before following Peggy out the door.

oxoxoxo

The air show proved to be immensely popular with the locals, young and old alike, as well as the television crews who filmed everything. Thousands had shown up to scan the skies, cheering every glimpse of the planes as they weaved, darted, dove and danced in mid air.

In his cockpit, Harm launched the F-14 into an intricate scissor roll against the CAG, creating a beautiful and thrilling show for the fans below.

As exhilarating as it was flying, Harm wished he could hear the reaction of the crowd as they saw the jets blast past. He tried not to think about the one fan he cared for more than most, wondering if she was watching him - he needed to concentrate right now and she... she made him concentrate on other things.

In the stands below, the Camp Courtney Crew cheered at the jets as they zoomed by. While Marines didn't normally think anything squids did were up to scratch, they could recognize and admire impressive feats just the same - regardless of whom performed it.

Peggy glanced beside her and noticed how mesmerized and worried the pretty Marine First Lieutenant sitting there was, watching the planes create intricate patterns in the sky with precision flying. Peggy smiled, knowing that while Mac might feel like her heart was in her throat, it was actually a thousand feet in the air, zooming about at near supersonic speeds.

She reached over to take Mac's hand, startling the Marine. "He's amazing." Peggy said referring to his aviation skills.

Mac smiled back. "Yeah, he is." meaning it in more ways than one.

oxoxoxo

Fireworks exploded far above the ocean, creating a dazzling display in the clear night sky.

Parties were happening up and down the entire beach. Mac was with her fellow Marines at one of the campfires, each one having a good time while staying respectfully sober - unlike some of the Air Force dolts down the shore who had decided that skinny dipping in the Sea of Japan was a brilliant idea.

Peggy and her husband had returned home to rest her weary feet, though if Mac read the lascivious look on the pregnant woman's face correctly, rest was definitely not what Peggy had in mind.

Mac laughed at one of the jokes of her fellow Marines when she sensed Harm's presence. She hoped he wasn't in his uniform because she might not be able to resist him, and she would never live down kissing Navy in front of all the Marines she worked with.

She glanced over her shoulder and saw that, damn, he was in his summer whites and gold wings. Damn. He stood a ways apart, admiring her with a smile on his lips and his arms crossed against his chest. He was waiting for her.

"Lieutenant, I believe your date is here." Mac heard someone say making her whirl towards the voice. It was her CO - Lt. Col. John Farrow.

"Sir." she stood at attention.

"At ease, Lieutenant." Farrow glanced at the sailor who was now pretending he hadn't been caught staring at Mac, "Didn't think you'd fall for the dress whites and gold wings." Farrow said teasingly to her.

"In my defense sir, first time I saw him he wasn't in dress whites and gold wings. I wasn't even in the Marines, sir." Mac said shyly.

Farrow's eyebrows shot up in surprise at that. "Childhood sweetheart?" he asked.

"It's a long story, sir."

"Well, hopefully I'll get to hear it someday. As you were."

They shared a smile and Mac turned to go to Harm. Farrow called out to her, "Mac. If he ever mistreats you, you let us know and we'll hunt him down, gut him and mount him on your wall."

Mac laughed. "Thank you, sir."

Farrow looked on as the pretty Marine Lieutenant join her Navy boyfriend. Farrow might have been many years her senior but he wasn't blind to her obvious charms. He had to admit that some of his feelings for her crossed the line and sometimes made it difficult for him to want to do the right thing. Maybe it was best that she hadn't shown an interest in him, because he wasn't entirely sure he would have been able to resist her.

Of course, looking at the type of man she had fallen for, Farrow knew deep down he never had a chance. He walked back to the campfire without ever looking back.

oxoxoxo

"Enjoy playing with your friends today?" Mac teased Harm about his air show as she looped her arm through his.

"You bet." he dazzled her again with his smile. "You ready to go home?" he whispered suggestively, and it made Mac stop in her tracks. Harm looked at her questioningly.

"Harm... this is your last night." Mac finally said.

"Yeah?"

"Is... this the last night of us?" she asked, her voice shrinking as her throat tightened up with that question.

"Why would you think so?" he asked incredulously.

"Because... because I need to know in case you don't..."

"Don't what?"

"Don't feel anything for me." she whispered, barely able to say the words.

Harm's heart tightened and he turned her towards him. He saw the uncertainty in her eyes and knew he had caused it. He kissed her gently, tenderly, sweetly on the lips. After a few seconds he pulled back, "Does that answer your question?"

She shook her head, no. Obviously a more direct tactic was needed. He looked deep into her eyes.

"I fell in love with the most amazing girl in Red Rock, Arizona four years ago."

Panic gripped her. She couldn't breath. He was in love with someone...

"She didn't fall for my charms or smiles even as she let me steal her drink. And she kissed me senseless in the rain, not once but twice, before I put her in a cab and let her ride out of my life."

Mac blinked up at him. "Who-?"

"You might know her. Her name is Sarah MacKenzie, and she's in the Marines. You sorta look like her."

"I... I don't know if there are any other Sarah MacKenzies in the Marines." Mac said.

Harm shook his head amused and annoyed that she was not getting it. "Okay, how about this? I'm about to kiss the woman who has owned my heart for the last four years and who I hope is not going to dump me after tonight."

He leaned in and pressed his lips against hers, just as the skies above them exploded in the brightest array of fireworks of the night. And still it paled in comparison to the ones Mac saw in her mind.

When he pulled back, she heard him whisper against her lips, "Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Any other questions?"

"Yes."

"What?" he asked patiently.

"Can you kiss me again?"

"Gladly." he leaned in and claimed her lips once more.

And deep down, Mac knew that he had claimed her heart as well.

* * *

**AN: **I have more planned, but I'll let you decide if I should be allowed to continue.


	4. San Diego, 1991

**AN: **Thank you everyone so much for your reviews! I'm glad you're enjoying this series, for I'm having a lot of fun writing it too, and I hope you continue to enjoy this series, despite my writing.

* * *

**CHAPTER 4: SAN DIEGO, 1991**

JANUARY 1991  
NAVAL MEDICAL CENTER SAN DIEGO  
BALBOA PARK, SAN DIEGO

The elevator doors slid open slowly, but the modest two inch heels of First Lieutenant Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie were already on the move. She squeezed past the opening door and quickly raced to the ICU nurses station.

She fixed the middle aged nurse there with her best glare, and hoped her command presence shone through. "What room is Lieutenant j.g. Harmon Rabb Jr. in?" she asked.

The nurse looked up at the young beautiful Marine standing in front of her. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant, but you are?"

"First Lieutenant Sarah MacKenzie."

"And are you a relative?"

And that was when Mac actually realized she was a nobody. What could she tell the nurses? That she was the woman he had slept with 6 months ago? That for the last four years they had a flirtation that had finally culminated in a week's worth of lovemaking?

Mac deflated as all fight abandoned her. She looked sadly at the nurse, and answered plainly, "No."

Her voice must have revealed something because the nurse's stance softened immediately. "His family's visiting right now. I can check if you can go in to see him."

Family! He had other people in his life, and she was a nobody to them as well. She wasn't about to subject herself to the judging glances of strangers who knew Harm but didn't know her.

"N-No, that's okay. I don't want to interrupt them."

The nurse smiled kindly and spoke gently, "Trust me, you're not interrupting much. Wait here a sec, I'll check."

Mac nodded and the nurse disappeared round the corner. Mac found a seat and took it as memories of the last 96 hours rushed to the fore.

oxoxoxo

Mac knocked on the door of her CO, Lieutenant Colonel John Farrow and was surprised to find that he wasn't alone. Standing with him were two Navy officers, one male, one female.

Farrow made quick introductions - the two Navy officers were from the Judge Advocate General Corps - before asking her to arrange their transportation to the USS Seahawk, currently on patrol near the South Pacific.

"And make it a helo transport, Lieutenant. There's been some damage to the landing deck, and with the Seahawk unable to return to port for repairs until a replacement relieves it, they're not allowing non-essential airplanes to land." Farrow said.

"Apparently JAG is not essential, Lieutenant." one of the JAGmen - Commander Owen Sebring said with wry wit.

"I will make the necessary arrangements, sir." Mac said as she turned to leave. But then, she caught Sebring's next words.

"The aviator who crashed, Lieutenant Rabb flew the air show here, right?"

Mac froze. She turned around slowly. Farrow noticed the ashen look on her face. "Lieutenant, is something the matter?"

"Uh, no sir. Um... just the name is familiar, sir." Mac quickly tried to mask her emotions. Tried and failed.

"Do you know Lieutenant j.g. Harmon Rabb Jr, Lieutenant?" Sebring asked.

Mac was stunned hearing his name, but she could hardly lie about knowing him. Well she could, but should she? "We are friends, sir." Mac said neutrally.

"How about Lieutenant j.g. Gregory Mace?" the rather striking but harsh looking female JAG asked.

"No ma'am." she said to the blonde Lieutenant.

The blonde glared at her unsympathetically, "So no prizes in guessing which one you rather have survived."

"Krennick, there's no need to be crass." Sebring rebuked his subordinate.

"Sir, if you don't mind me asking, one of them is dead?" Mac asked, gulping hard to control the rising panic.

Sebring nodded, "Unfortunately yes."

"Do you know who?"

"No."

Farrow realized at this point that the aviator Mac was dating was Rabb. "Lieutenant, I believe that helo is not going to arrange itself." he said to get her out of his office and spare her any further distress.

Krennick was quick to pounce. "Wait sir, she might have vital information..."

"How, Lieutenant? Was she on the plane?" Col. Farrow locked his gaze on the young blonde's.

"No sir."

"Then I don't see how her friendship with one of the victims of this accident is relevant." Farrow said coldly.

"Yes sir. I'm sorry sir." Lieutenant Alison Krennick finally let it go as she looked suitably admonished.

"MacKenzie, you are dismissed." Farrow's hard gaze cut through her fugue. Mac snapped to and responded, "Yes sir."

Once out of the Colonel's office she blazed a path right to her office, shut the door and blinds before collapsing in her chair. The tears came fast and hot. And for the first time in years, Sarah MacKenzie prayed.

oxoxoxo

The nurse came to stand before Mac, bringing her out of her reverie. Mac blinked the tears clear as she looked up.

And found the nurse handing her some tissues. She had a sad smile on her face. "He's in room 412."

"I can see him?" she asked quietly, almost afraid if she said it louder, somebody might revoke the privilege. The nurse nodded, "Now, before I let you in though, I have to ask, are you going to be okay?"

Mac steadied her voice, "How bad is it?"

"All things considered, not bad at all."

"But?"

"But I've seen worse. Have you?"

Mac steeled herself, "I want to see him."

"Then dry your eyes and follow me."

"Thank you." Mac said as she stood.

"You might not thank me in a few minutes." the nurse admitted sadly, worrying Mac. But she didn't have time to ask for clarification as she was suddenly in front of room 412.

She was twisting the cloth garrison cap in her hands nervously as she entered. Where her heart twisted to breaking point seeing him in the hospital bed. IV and oxygen tubes snaked everywhere. He even had a catheter and Mac feared the worse. _Was he paralyzed?_

He was asleep and Mac wished she knew if it was a natural one or drug-induced. Looking at all the bruises that were starting to make themselves known on every patch of bare skin, she wondered if there wasn't a part of him untouched by the trauma of his crash.

Mac then realized she wasn't alone in the room. She turned to see an older couple seated in the corner, studying her as hard as she had been studying Harm. The woman was slim, and evidently had spent many of the past few days in tears whereas the man, while not muscular had a nobility of spirit that seemed to transcend his slender frame. Mac must have looked spooked because the man was quick to reassure her.

"Please, stay. It's okay."

"I don't want to intrude." Mac responded.

"As you can see there's not much to intrude on." the woman spoke. "Who...?" she asked.

"I'm Sarah MacKenzie, ma'am. I'm a friend of Harm's."

"Sarah?" the woman looked up at the man to share a look of confusion.

"But you can call me Mac."

"Mac!" The woman was up instantly and enveloped her in a fierce hug. Mac didn't know how to respond, so held her arms to the side allowing the older woman to initiate all the contact.

The older man in seeing the ICU nurse at the door, nodded in understanding and excused himself. "I think I'll go out and stretch my legs some. She can stay." he told the nurse, referring to Mac before he left.

"Thank you, sir." Mac said and was rewarded with a kind nod and smile in return.

The older woman finally released her hold on Mac. "That's Frank. I'm Trish, Harm's mother."

"Mrs. Rabb."

Trish shook her head, "It's Burnett, dear. I haven't been a Rabb for a very long time."

Mac nodded mutely as the older woman led her to the chairs. She took a seat and turned her attention to the reason why they were in this room. "Is he asleep?" Mac asked.

"He's been mostly unconscious, but the doctors tell me that's a good thing. He's getting rest, but he's not slipped into a coma."

Mac blew out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Then her attention turned to the other thing that bothered her, "How did you know me, ma'am?"

"Call me Trish."

"Trish."

"Are you Harm's Mac?" Trish asked, now suddenly unsure if this woman's name was the same one her son had mentioned.

"I don't know." Mac answered, genuinely unsure if she was. Mac was a common enough name.

"How well do you know my son?" Trish asked.

Mac couldn't stop the intense blush that colored her face. Trish instantly recognized the source of her embarrassment. "Oh."

"I'm just a friend, ma'am... Trish." Mac said deeply embarrassed that the man she was in love... that his mom knew about their history.

Trish's expression softened as she took in the young Marine. The girl was definitely beautiful enough to capture her son's attention, and in many regards, beautiful enough to keep hold of it too. She was no mere friend despite her words, and she was sure her son felt the same way. She had wondered if Harm had earlier uttered his RIO's name, Mace. But he had sighed the name clearly - Mac not Mace - and now she understood why.

She decided to put the young Marine at ease. "Harmon... Harm, called your name when he first woke up after anesthesia."

"Anesthesia?" Mac asked.

"He broke both his legs, Mac. They had to reset the bone."

Mac grimaced. She wasn't necessarily squeamish, but to know he was in such bad shape tore her up.

"Is there... anything else?" she asked, almost too afraid to know.

"There were some burns, but his suit protected him from the worst of it. The bruising and cuts are from bits of shrapnel hitting him when the plane exploded. But the worse was his landing, his chute barely had time to open when he crashed down again on the deck." Trish explained best she could, knowing that if the woman seated beside her cared even a little for her son, she'd want to know.

"He looks..." What could Mac say? Horrible? That he was still breathing was a miracle and any complaint seemed petty by comparison.

"The doctors say he looks worse than he actually is. But he'll feel worse than he looks once he's off the painkillers."

"How are you holding up, ma'am... Trish." Mac corrected as she looked at the woman who was probably staring at one of her worst nightmares now.

"Pretty well considering I almost killed one of the doctors earlier yesterday." Trish chuckled more in a need to release the tension than in any genuine amusement.

"Why?" Mac asked surprised.

"Well, I lost it when the doctor said Harm was lucky. How was my son lucky when he was barely hanging onto his life?" Trish sighed. "In retrospect though, the doctor was right. Harmon was alive and that's more than some other families have."

Mac nodded, and felt a similar pang of guilt when she remembered receiving the news of Harm's survival. "The other Lieutenant died on impact. They said he didn't suffer."

"I guess thank God for small mercies." Trish said without any real emotion. Both women had prayed, and now selfishly realized that by praying for Harm's survival, they had inadvertently hoped for Lt. Mace's death.

The silence between them was filled by the gentle beep of Harm's heart rate monitor.

Mac stared at Harm in the bed, but was afraid to reach out. Trish recognized the conflict.

"He's there, Mac. He won't disappear if you touch him."

Still Mac's hand shook as it closed in to touch him. "I want to believe that, Mrs... Trish."

Trish took Mac's hand and put it on Harm's. Mac gasped as she felt the cool smoothness of his skin that let her know that it wasn't a dream. That she wasn't actually trapped in her office still waiting to know if he was really alive or she was going to attend his funeral.

She sniffled as she clung onto his hand with both of hers. "He's here."

"Yes dear. We all are. Together." Trish said putting a hand around the Marine's shoulder to give her a hug.

Mac's hands tightened on Harm's and she stayed there, not saying another word for the rest of the day. Not needing another word.

Because she was deep in prayer, giving thanks to a God she once thought had long abandoned her.

oxoxoxo

FEBRUARY 1991  
BURNETT RESIDENCE  
LA JOLLA, SAN DIEGO

Mac stared out at the beautiful sunrise as it came up over the horizon. The ocean slowly turned golden under the day's first rays, chasing the night's cold air with it. Mac took a deep breath as a bracing sea breeze whipped up and touched her skin.

She'd been staying here off and on for the last six weeks, though mostly off. She'd been TAD'd to Camp Pendleton - which wasn't exactly just next door. However she drove down late Fridays to spend her weekend here to help Harm's mom with him.

The thought of Harm made her sigh sadly. Though Harm's injuries were mostly healed, Harm was... closed off. He barely said anything, barely reacted to anyone, not even her. He didn't reject her, he held her hand, he even let her kiss him, but he didn't kiss back.

And he wasn't talking to anyone about his crash. Aside from the questions he had to give to the JAGs, he didn't say a word about the incident. Of course, most of the first few weeks, neither she nor Trish were too bothered about what made him crash, rather glad that he had survived it.

She heard the glass door behind her slide open and turned around to see that Trish was joining her. The older woman carried two coffee mugs, and held one out for Mac to take. She did.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Mac."

Mac took a sip and recognized that while the blend wasn't as strong as she liked, there was no mistaking the luxury she was drinking right now. This was not regular coffee.

"Blue Mountain. Do you like it?" Trish asked and Mac recognized that she was probably sipping on a cup of coffee more expensive than any of her shoes.

"It's delicious." Mac said, and it was.

Trish joined Mac at the balcony rail to look out at the same sunrise, sipping quietly on her own cup of coffee.

"I don't usually drink this." Trish explained unnecessarily. "It's too expensive for a cup of coffee and, well, it's not exactly Navy grade is it?" Trish chuckled.

"No." Mac smiled. "But it's nice."

"I know. I needed something nice today."

Mac put a comforting hand on the back of the woman she had come to grow fond off, a woman who had taken her in gladly - a stranger who she barely knew - simply because she knew her son. Mac had never known such generosity or kindness. And Mac wished she could do more to ease the pain Trish must be feeling now.

"No improvement?" Mac asked.

"He's stuck and he won't let go of the anger."

"It's only been a few weeks since his crash."

"How long are we going to make excuses for him, Sarah?" Trish turned sad eyes to the woman she now considered a friend, and one she would be more than thrilled if her son made part of their family.

Seeing Mac's hurt expression instantly made Trish regret her tone if not her words, "Sarah, I'm sorry." Trish began to explain but Mac rubbed the older woman's back in a comforting gesture.

"It's okay, Trish. You're right. I've been making excuses for him."

"That's okay dear. I know what it's like to be in love with a Rabb."

Mac looked at Trish worriedly, wanting to deny it again, but today, just standing there together, taking comfort from each other's company, Mac didn't even bother to try. "Is it that obvious?"

"You forget that I have experience in that department." Trish smiled.

"You're not... disappointed?"

"Disappointed?" Trish yelped, "Sarah MacKenzie, there's no way I could ever be disappointed that you love my son."

"I'm not perfect." Mac said.

"Like anyone is." Trish took Mac's hand in hers, squeezing it to impart support. "And I wasn't such a catch myself. You forget that I had a past before I met Harm's father."

Trish had been an instant orphan at 17, losing both parents and her brother in a car crash. And suddenly college and an art career just didn't seem to matter anymore as she fell in with a bad crowd.

"Harm's father came into my life at a time when I needed to be saved. And for that I'll always love him."

"Then Harm's like his father. He... he's..." Mac struggled to verbalize the depth of her emotions.

"I know, dear." Trish squeezed her hand once more.

"Does it get any easier?"

"What?"

"Admitting that you love him more than anything in the world."

Trish sighed, "No. But it gets less scary once you do."

"I'm afraid of losing him."

"We all are. And I'm afraid with him being this way, we might already have." Trish whispered.

Mac wished she could reassure Trish, but she knew that the older woman was right. The man she had fallen in love with might no longer exist.

oxoxoxo

NAVAL MEDICAL CENTER SAN DIEGO  
BALBOA PARK, SAN DIEGO

Harm growled threateningly at the young male nurse who reached for him. Harm was struggling on the bars, trying to will his legs to support his weight but they weren't cooperating.

He'd been idle for six whole weeks. The cast had finally come off and even the various bruises that dotted his entire frame had finally faded. At one point, parts of him looked like a patchwork quilt.

But still his legs were weak. Still he couldn't walk. Still he... needed to be helped.

Sweat dripped from his hairline as he finally moved another inch. He let go of the bar and almost fell. Again the damn nurse was there.

"Don't help me!" he shouted angrily. "I don't need help!"

"Not even from me?" her voice said and Harm instantly turned to her.

Mac stood there in her Marines sweatshirt and jeans. He looked away guiltily. He didn't want her to see him like this. To see him angry. To see him broken.

She approached, nodding to the long suffering nurse to relieve him temporarily of duty. The nurse was happy to leave Harm to her.

"What are you doing here?" he asked with an edge in his voice.

"Do you even need to ask?"

"Why?"

"Do you need to ask that too?"

"I don't want you here." Harm said, his voice steady and stern.

"Why?"

It took him a few seconds to work up the courage to admit why, "I don't want you to see me this way."

"What way?" she asked.

"I don't need your pity." he couldn't bare to see her pity him.

"Is that why you think I'm here?"

"Yes."

"Do you think so little of me?" she could feel her anger rise.

"I'm not going to be better anytime soon, Mac." Harm's fears came to the fore and made his voice tremble, "I might not get better at all."

She heard the fear and the self pity, "Do you want me to leave?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you deserve so much better."

"And what if I don't want better? What if I just want you in any way I can have you?"

That made him look at her. He stared at her wide eyed, surprised before doubt and fear dulled his beautiful blue eyes again.

"I... I don't want to be a burden."

"And I won't let you be a burden. You're gonna get better, and when you do, I plan on being there."

"... I don't want to need anyone." he said quietly.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't deserve to have anyone. I killed him, Mac. I killed Mace."

There were so many things she wanted to say to him, to tell him it wasn't his fault, to tell him that it was an accident. But those weren't the words Harm needed. He didn't need to hear her words. What he needed was for someone, anyone to hear _his_ words. His feelings. His guilt.

"Tell me about Mace." she finally said.

Harm was surprised. "Tell you about Mace?" he repeated, unsure if he had heard her right.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you owe it to him. You owe it to yourself too. You need to talk about who he was, who you are, what happened. And you need to say it out loud, to someone, if not me, then someone who will listen." she repeated the very words Uncle Matt had said to her on her darkest days at Red Rock Mesa. She owed it to Eddie. Now he owed it to Mace.

"What if you think less of me?" Harm admitted in a tiny voice that Mac almost didn't hear.

Her heart bled for him, "Harm, all I can think of right now is how lucky I am that you're still alive. That's all that's holding me together at this point."

He tried to move another step towards her, and when he stumbled he let her catch him. He didn't fight her as he finally gave up his pride. He let her help him back to his wheelchair.

Looking into her eyes as she bent over to manipulate his feet onto the foot plate, he said, "I can't lose you too, Sarah."

That stilled her. "What do you mean too?"

"I'll never fly again."

Mac looked up sadly. "I know I can't compete with your love of flying..."

Harm looked to correct her but she didn't see it as she pressed on, "But know that as long as I can help it, I won't ever let you lose me. And as long as you love me even a fraction of how much I do you, you never will."

Mac stood in front of him, gripped the armrest on either side of him and leaned in to kiss him.

Harm reached up and held her face, and returned her kiss with everything he had.

And for the first time since he almost died, he realized how much he had to live for.

oxoxoxo

BURNETT RESIDENCE  
LA JOLLA, SAN DIEGO

Harm sat down on a stool in the shower as warm water cascaded over his body. He sighed tiredly as he leaned back against the cool tile.

His thigh muscles burned from the effort he'd expended in physiotherapy, and while he hated feeling like an invalid, he still appreciated that he didn't have to continue standing in the shower. And he wasn't in the mood for baths. The humiliation of needing to be helped out of one made sure he didn't want to go through it again.

Harm closed his eyes and let the water hit his face. When he heard the bathroom door open. He quickly grabbed the towel to cover himself.

"I'm in here." he said.

"I know, sailor." Mac replied as she entered wearing nothing but a blue bath towel.

"Mac. What are you doing here?" he couldn't take his eyes of her. The towel left very little and yet everything to the imagination.

"I thought I could scrub your back." she whispered as she stood in front of him. He gulped even as his hands went to keep his towel from betraying his strong reaction to the sight of her that way.

She had already caught sight of his reaction, "Like what you see?" she asked huskily.

"Mac, I..."

"You what?"

"I don't know if I can..."

She removed his hands from the front of his towel and arched her eyebrow knowingly at him. "It looks fine from here."

"I've... I've not had any since..."

"Since?"

"Since you in Okinawa." he said, shocking her.

"That was seven months ago." she stared at him. "None?"

"No one. I might have fantasized about you once or twice." he said shyly.

"Only once or twice?" she leaned in and whispered against his ear. "I'm insulted, sailor. I think about you every night."

The image of her pleasuring herself as she thought about him made his desire ignite. "Mac, I..."

"What do you want?"

Without words he showed her. He reached out and her towel fell to the floor revealing her in all her beauty. His eyes devoured her every contour, before his mouth did. He tasted her skin, craving her more than he needed his next breath of air.

When he finally broke away he looked up at her. "God, you're beautiful."

"So are you." She removed the towel from his lap and enjoyed the view of him in his glory. She reached out and touched him. He groaned as her touch drove him wild. His skin was ablaze with desire.

"Sarah... it's... too soon." he gritted his teeth, trying to hold back.

"It's okay, Harm. Look at me." she asked and he did. He stared into her eyes, and he lost his last bit of control. He shuddered in ecstasy.

When the euphoria faded, hot tears began to form in his eyes. He apologized. "Oh God, Sarah, I'm sorry. I..."

She held him close, his head against her chest as the water streamed over their naked forms. After a while she lifted his face and kissed him, just lip to lip to convey all the love she held for him.

When she pulled away, he spoke. "I... I didn't mean to be so selfish."

"How is it selfish, Harm? That I could pleasure you with just my touch? You do the same to me." she blushed thinking about the times when just his touch had been enough.

"But I..."

She brushed the water from his face. "Harm, I know you're proud, but making love... but what we do together isn't a competition. I don't need you to prove to me that you are perfect all the time. I don't need perfect."

"You deserve perfect."

"But I need you. As flawed and wonderful and maddening and beautiful as you are."

"I'll make it up to you." he said and Mac sighed sadly. He was still too proud to accept that she didn't need him to be strong and perfect all the time. She didn't always need him to be her hero because he had already saved her.

It was her turn to be his savior. It was her turn to be the strong one - for him, for them, for a change.

oxoxoxo

CAMP PENDLETON  
SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA

Mac heard the phone on her desk ring from across the bullpen and quickly rushed to it. She set the stack of folders she was carrying down on her desk before snatching up the still ringing telephone.

"Lieutenant MacKenzie?" asked the female voice on the other line.

"Yes." Mac answered as she sat herself down.

"Transferring a call from Camp Courtney, Okinawa. Please hold." the female voice said before switching to a brief transfer signal and just as suddenly, to a male voice.

"Lieutenant MacKenzie? Colonel Gordon Cresswell." he introduced himself. Cresswell - her commanding officer's commanding officer!

Mac's internal clock calculated the time in Okinawa and greeted him, "Good morning, sir."

"Good morning. How's San Diego, Lieutenant?"

"It's good, sir. I'd like to thank you for arranging my TAD here."

"Well, I admit our loss is Camp Pendleton's gain. I've heard only the best things about you during your time there."

"Thank you sir." Mac said with pride. But his next words chilled her.

"However, you do understand that all TADs do come to an end."

Her mind raced as the meaning of his words struck home. She was being called back to Okinawa. She was leaving Harm. She tried to remain calm even if her emotions were all over the place.

"Yes sir." she said trying to keep the quiver out of her voice. "When do you want me to return, sir?"

"If it were my choice Lieutenant, immediately." and Mac cringed - it was well within his right to do so. She was so upset she almost didn't catch his next words.

"However, I've also received Lieutenant Colonel Farrow's recommendation for you to continue your studies." Cresswell said.

"Sir?" Mac asked, unsure where this conversation was suddenly going.

"He assures me you have shown a propensity and an interest in pursuing a law career with the Marines." Cresswell said.

"Law, sir?" Mac asked.

"Yes, and as a law graduate myself, I can see the appeal. Especially since there are way too many sailors in charge of our legal fates, it wouldn't be a hard sell to get more Marines interested in a law career."

_Law? _Mac admitted that she had never even considered a law career before. Not when she was a drunk 18-year old, and not when she left Okinawa 2 months ago.

"It would also serve to keep you stateside until the completion of your course." Cresswell added.

Stateside! She could stay. "Sir, you mean?"

"Yes, Lieutenant. If you choose to go back to school, you will move back home on a permanent basis."

Mac's mind was blown. Was she prepared to completely change her career path? What was her career path anyway? She had concentrated so much on cleaning up her life she had never considered what she would do with her future. _Law?_ Could she be a lawyer?

"I take it from your silence you don't agree, Lieutenant?" Cresswell asked, shaking Mac from her thoughts.

"No, sir. I mean yes sir, I agree. I do want to go back to school."

"Good, I'll put the paperwork through. And Lieutenant... I just want to take this opportunity to wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors."

Mac swore she could almost hear how proud he was of her in his words. "Thank you, Colonel Cresswell. It was an honor to serve in your command, sir."

"Well, don't thank me yet. Duke Law is not exactly known to be merciful."

Mac's eyes bulged. "Duke, sir?"

oxoxoxo

Mac stood on the patio of the Burnett's La Jolla house, staring out at the clear night sky. There was a full moon, diminishing the number of stars she could see tonight, but those that were visible were beautiful, and almost symbolic.

Each star could represent the endless possibilities of her future, the endless points where her life could lead.

She heard him come out on the patio and felt him wrap the woolen throw around her shoulders, before his arms wrapped around her to keep it there. "It's getting cold." Harm breathed against her ear, his low sexy tone further warming her up from within.

"Not anymore." she smiled as she leaned against his muscular chest.

"What you thinking about?" he asked as he stared at the same view, the cloudless starry night with a moon so full it dominated the sky.

"The future. My future." she admitted.

He looked at her, "I hope you have me in it." he said sincerely.

"Would you like to be in it?"

"Mac..." his tone showed that he was being serious. She turned around in his arms and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I don't need to include you in my future Harm, because you already are there. You are my home, my life. Wherever I go, you go with me. If not out here, then... in here." she pointed to her heart.

He stared at her and his eyes began to glint with tears. He reached for the hand over her heart and kissed her fingertips one by one, punctuating each kiss with a single word. "And. You. Are. My. Life."

"I love you." she said, and she looked horrified when she realized she'd said it out loud. She tried to take it back, but her mouth refused to cooperate.

His hand cupped her face and he lowered his lips to hers. He kissed her for the longest time, just holding her there without deepening it. Finally he pulled away, glad that her panic had faded in her eyes. "And I love you Sarah MacKenzie."

Tears tumbled from her eyes. She closed them to hold them at bay but to no avail. Her soul soared. Her soul was free. He loved her. She crashed her lips against his, no longer holding back her love. No longer needing to hold back.

When they finally separated, he reminded her where they were - out on the patio just outside the living room. Mac glanced behind him and saw that his mom was very conspicuously pretending to not see them as she read her novel. Mac chuckled, prompting Harm to follow suit.

"Want to go to bed?" she whispered breathlessly.

"As much as I'd love to Marine, there's something I need to know."

"Yes?"

"When are you leaving for North Carolina?"

She'd gotten into Duke University, and had been accepted into their law program. Apparently having an alumnus like Colonel Cresswell write a recommendation letter helped a great deal.

But as part of the placement, until Fall intake, she had to transfer to Camp Lajeune, which like Duke, was in North Carolina, and like Duke - was clear across the country from here.

"I ship out at the end of the month." she said sadly. "We'll be 2,608 miles apart."

"You do know now that I've healed, I don't have to stay here." Harm said.

"Harm, I can't bring you with me." Mac sighed. She'd already thought about that - but short of marrying him...

"I mean I know of a little place out East that I can call home for a while."

She eyed him skeptically. "Where?"

"Belleville, Pennsylvania."

She looked at him confused. "What's in Belleville, Pennsylvania?"

He smiled winningly. "You'll see." and he leaned in for another kiss.

oxoxoxo

Harm looked down at Mac's form beside him in bed, marveling at how beautiful she was asleep. She was gorgeous awake, but when she slept, she almost looked like an angel.

The moonlight streaming in through his bedroom window gave her an almost ethereal glow - one which bathed her skin so lovingly it seemed as if the entire universe had created this very phenomenon for her.

His fingers brushed lightly against her hair and he panicked briefly because she stirred. She opened her eyes and stared at him, fixing him with a brilliant smile.

"Hey."

"Hey." he greeted back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

She sighed. "It's 0327. What are you doing up?"

"I'm trying to figure out how you do that clock thing." he said glibly.

Her laughter was like sweet music to his ears, "Does that bother you so much?"

"No. I admit I'm curious as to how you do it, but..."

"But?"

"But I also like the mystery."

"Is that all you like?"

"I especially like knowing that I can make you lose timing when you get really excited."

"Really excited?"

"When we kiss. Or when we..."

She rolled him over and kissed him deeply to disprove his theory. About a minute later, he pulled back and asked, "What time is it Marine?"

"Time for you to shut up and keep kissing me, sailor."

Harm grinned and complied. The kisses soon became more and after they shared their love through words and actions, they drifted off to sleep in each others arms.

And they knew that no matter where they went, they only needed each other to be home.

* * *

**AN:** I could go on.


	5. Belleville, 1991

**AN: **Thank you so much to everyone who has read, reviewed and enjoyed this story, and for being interested in where I'm taking it.

I hope you continue to enjoy it, and I sincerely hope you're not too bitterly disappointed should I take it in a different direction than popular demand (this goes for all my stories). Not saying I won't take it there, but I might get there a little slower (this goes for all my stories).

Before you string me up though, on the plus side - maybe more chapters?

* * *

**CHAPTER 5: BELLEVILLE, 1991**

MARCH 1991  
RABB FARM  
BELLEVILLE, PENNSYLVANIA

A hot morning sun shone high in the sky and it brought with it the unseasonal humidity of Spring. A long wooden fence cut through the middle of a vast greenland, separating two adjoining plots more effectively than the thin river that ran between the two fields. It also served to keep livestock in their respective grounds.

Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr. was making repairs to the fence, replacing old rotting wood with fresh planks. Sometime in the last hour he'd taken off his sweat drenched shirt - the material clung to him uncomfortably and was more hindrance than help at that point. An old Phillies baseball cap kept his head out of the sun while sweat made his muscles glisten. He swung the hammer once more, knocking in another nail into the wooden fence.

He had headphones on as his walkman blasted out a track fueled by the fury of Jimmy Page's guitar, one that seemed to mirror Harm's own rage.

Satisfied that the repair held, he picked up another plank and moved further down the fence, when he noticed that he was no longer alone. When he felt her eyes boring into his back.

But she said nothing, watching silently instead as he replaced another rotten board. She continued watching in silence until eventually Harm couldn't take it anymore. He put down his tools, took off his headphones and turned around.

"What?" he asked with an annoyance he didn't mean, but had worked its way into his voice regardless.

"We need to talk." she said and he nodded.

"Yeah we do." Harm admitted resignedly.

Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie went to the cooler box Harm had sitting in the shade. She pulled it open and found a beer. She popped it open and handed it to him.

He looked at her in surprise and she shook her head at his concern, "It's fine. I can handle you having a few beers."

He took the offered drink and sat down in the shade. She sat down with him, the cooler box between them and fished out a cold soda for herself.

They sat in silence for a second, slaking their thirst before they both spoke together. "I'm sorry."

They stared at each other, their simultaneous apologies breaking the ice, making them laugh. But the laughter was short-lived.

Harm sighed deeply before continuing, "It's not your fault, Mac. I overreacted."

"I shouldn't have pushed you if you didn't want to do it."

"I didn't mind the pushing."

She eyed him, unsure what he was thinking of. It took him a few more seconds and another swig for him to finally put his thoughts in order.

"I didn't mean to show you up, Mac."

"Harm, I don't mind."

"That's just it. You should. I'm not studying to be a lawyer. You are."

Mac was getting a head start on studying before her entry into the Duke law program. It wasn't that she couldn't catch up in school, but she also didn't want to be caught unprepared. She was going to school on the Marine Corps' dime, she didn't want to embarrass herself and the Corps in front of all the other Ivy League, LSAT geniuses who undoubtedly were going to ace their course.

Mac had asked for his help to do a mock test with her. She scored an 85. A very good grade.

Harm hadn't even tried on the test. He scored a 94.

"And you're helping me study." Mac said. "So what if you know more than I do. Hell, maybe you should be a lawyer more than me."

Harm actually looked wounded by that. "That's why I got angry Mac. Not at you, but at me. I don't want to take your dream."

"Harm, until four weeks ago, I didn't even know I wanted to be a lawyer, much less dream it. It's... are you saying I'm not good at it?"

"No. You're brilliant."

"But you're mad that you're better?"

"I don't want this to be a competition between us. I don't want us to be studying the same damn thing trying to outdo each other."

Mac sighed as she leaned further back against the tree bark. "You know what convinced me to take up law?"

"Colonel Cresswell from Okinawa?"

"Well, he recommended it, but he would have supported anything I chose. But I chose law. Do you know why?"

Harm shook his head.

"It was what he said to me. He told me I'd make an excellent lawyer because I was organized, methodical but most of all, because I cared about people."

"Organized? Has he seen your desk?" Harm asked and she smacked him playfully on the arm. They laughed good-naturedly before Mac turned to him.

She looked at Harm and saw despite his joke, how truly proud he was of her. She held his gaze. "That aside, I learned that last part from you, you know?"

"What last part?"

"The part about caring for people."

At his questioning gaze, she explained, "When we met, all you saw was a good time girl..." she held her hand up to stop him from interrupting. "You admitted you just wanted to get in my pants and to tell you the truth... I might have let you treat me that way back then."

"But the more we talked, the more you found out, the more you actually cared. You didn't judge me, instead you supported me even when you knew about my mistakes. Instead of taking advantage of my insecurities, you made me see myself in a better light. You saw through all my crap and saw me."

She looked at him with all the love she felt for him. "So if I learned it from you, how could I not see how you would make an excellent lawyer when you are the reason why I can become one?"

Harm gulped, his throat suddenly dry. He stared into her eyes deeply, seeing just how much she admired him. "You think that highly of me?" he asked, his voice almost catching in his throat.

"You know I do."

Harm tried to picture himself as an attorney. His mind rewound to the two JAG attorneys that had investigated his ramp strike - Cmdr. Owen Sebring and Lt. Alison Krennick.

Sebring seemed an easy going guy, a newly-minted family man, and while he wasn't driven career wise, he had a mind so sharp and incisive Harm also didn't see why the man wasn't on track to at least make Admiral.

The woman Krennick on the other hand was ambitious and abrasively so. She was blunt to the point of brutality. But what she lacked in tact, she made up with incredible focus and surprising honesty - she might have wanted to nail his six to the wall, but she didn't take shortcuts in her work - she investigated every lead, every detail and sorted out every scuttlebutt until she found the truth.

It was because of both of them Harm still had a Navy career. They'd found out about what caused his crash on the deck of the USS Seahawk. They even offered to appear as witnesses on his behalf at his tribunal.

His tribunal - where he was cleared of any wrongdoing. But where he was also clearly told he'd never fly for the Navy again.

"I guess I'm just not ready to let go... of that part of my life, Mac."

"What part?"

His look told her all she needed to know. The flying part. Mac had no response to that, so she got up to leave.

"Where are you going?" Harm asked.

"I don't want to crowd your decision Harm. I'm not going to press for what I want, when I know you'll want something else. All I ask is, whatever you decide, you'll let me know?"

She walked back to the modest farmhouse in the distance, leaving Harm alone with his thoughts.

He sipped on the ice cold beer once more, before setting it down and returning to work. First he'd mend the broken fence, then he'd mend his broken dreams.

oxoxoxo

Old Sarah 'Grams' Rabb peeked out the screen door and saw her grandson sitting in her rocking chair on the porch. The sun had finally gone down, leaving the sky bruised purple this night.

The air was still and thick with moisture while the quiet solitude of the farm was only broken by the constant song of crickets.

Grams debated for a second if she wanted to intrude on her grandson's introspection. He looked so lost and had been so quiet at dinner when in previous nights he and his young sweetheart had filled this old farmhouse with laughter and joy.

She decided that as matriarch of the Rabb clan, she was basically empress, and was allowed any rudeness, if the rudeness was for the betterment of all involved. She pushed open the screen door.

The squeak of the door opening cut through Harm's thoughts, and he saw his grandmother step out. He stood immediately but was waved back down into the rocking chair.

"Sit, Harmon. You need Lucille more tonight."

Harm chuckled. Lucille was Grams nickname for her chair - a convenient and polite way to turn away visitors when they wanted to visit, under the guise of having prior plans. _'I'm sorry but I've not seen Lucille in a while, so we have a lot of catching up to do.'_

Harm took the seat as his grandmother stretched her legs. He eyed her, still going strong at 71. She somehow kept this place spotless. Of course, he knew it was down to the infamous 'Rabb smile' that she used to charm-slash-con her friends and admirers to helping with the housework.

Many people thought the Rabb smile was handed down from time immemorial, but it wasn't true. The Rabb smile was only really 2 generations old. It was probably the reason why Grandpa Rabb had fallen instantly for the incredible woman that was now standing before her grandson.

Though his own smile was pretty close to full strength Grams Rabb had the pure undiluted version. It had even worked on Mac!

"Enjoying yourself there, young man?" Grams said, catching the wide grin on his face. He gained control of his facial expressions before answering.

"Yeah, just thinking."

"From that smile on your face, I bet I know what. Or should I say who?"

Harm blushed. "Yeah..."

"She's precious, Harm."

"I know."

"When are you going to make an honest woman out of her?"

"Grams, we just started dating."

"Mmm, then why are you already working on my great-grandchildren?"

Harm's blush became full on nuclear. "Grams!"

"I may be old Harmon, but I'm not deaf. I know you aren't moving the bed in the middle of the night by your lonesome."

He looked like he was going to have an apoplectic fit.

"Not that I don't understand. I mean when your grandfather and I..."

"Grams!" Harm shouted loud enough to temporarily silence the crickets. He noticed the sly Rabb grin and Harm knew that his grandmother was just giving him a hard time for the heck of it.

"But you two were very quiet at dinner." Grams said. "Are things that bad?"

"No. It's just..."

Grams looked at him intently. "Just?"

"I don't know what to do with my life, Grams. I don't know how I'm going to be able to provide for Mac if we... become permanent."

"She seems like she can take care of herself."

"She can. I just don't want her to need to take care of me."

"Sweet Jesus." Grams threw her hands up in exasperation. "When did I get such a stupid grandson?"

"Grams?"

"Do you think it's a chore to take care of someone you love?"

"N-No."

"Then why do you think you'll be burdening that girl upstairs with 'needing' to take care of you? Don't you think she's smart enough to decide what she wants?"

"Of course she is."

"Then you have a funny way of proving it." Grams exclaimed. "If the reverse had happened, if you almost lost her in a plane crash and she had to reevaluate her future, what would you do?"

Harm was shocked. If he almost lost Mac... "I... I don't know." and that was the truth.

"Proof that she is smarter than you because she at least came up with one thing. She was by your side, she helped you recover, she moved to be closer to you. What are you willing to give to have her?"

Harm froze at that question. He'd never frozen up before, not even during his ramp strike. He knew what was happening, had full control of his actions even if he couldn't see on that dark stormy night at sea. His grandmother's one question did more damage to his system than the fear of dying.

"I... don't know."

Sarah Rabb looked at her grandson sadly. He'd been given a precious gift and he didn't recognize it.

"Harmon, one day, you'll realize there are some things more precious than flying." said the woman who lost both a husband and a son to flight, and almost lost her grandson too. "I just hope that you don't realize it too late."

oxoxoxo

Harm stood before the door to his bedroom and turned to look down the hall. Despite the fact that they never spent their nights apart, Harm and Mac had separate rooms - sneaking around like horny teens after lights out. They thought they were being so clever, they thought they were so quiet, when obviously in the throes of passion...

Harm saw there was light coming from under her door. It was then he realized that every night, it was her who came to him. Every night she spent the night in his room, only to sneak back to her own room in the morning to change her clothes and come down for breakfast.

Even this afternoon, she had come to him to talk. He had gotten angry and stormed off when all Mac had done was suggest he look into studying law. It wasn't as if she had suggested he kill his mother, and yet he had acted like a child by throwing a tantrum.

He owed her an apology. But more than that, he owed her an explanation and a promise to be the kind of man she deserved. To be the man she made him want to be.

He walked over to her door and knocked against it lightly.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"It's me."

"... It's open."

He took a deep breath and turned the knob. He found her lying in bed in her sweatshirt and shorts. She lay on her front, her ankles linked in the air behind her as she poured over her textbooks while clutching a pencil between her teeth. She looked at him and once more he was reminded by how gorgeous she was, so much that his heart ached.

"Harm? Is everything okay?" she asked as she quickly rolled out of bed to come to him. He stopped her.

"No, stay there. Let me come to you."

She was unsure for his reasons but she complied and let him approach her instead. He entered the guest room and shut the door behind him. He stayed there a moment, leaning against the door. "I need to talk. Is that okay?"

She nodded mutely and made herself comfortable on the bed to hear him out.

A million thoughts swam through Harm's head, but as he continued staring at Mac, they stopped fighting for control. One by one the thoughts focused and became clear. All he had to do was open his mouth and the words would flow out.

"I love you. That will never change. Not time, not tragedy, not even if you fall out of love with me. I will always love you because I don't think I can ever stop. And I don't ever want to stop."

"But I'm also not in a place where I can look you in the eye and tell you that I can make you happy forever. And selfishly, that's what I want for you. I could never live with myself if I knew being with me made you unhappy. I know we'll have our bad days. I know we'll fight, and we'll disagree. I know there will be times you'll struggle to even be in the same room with me, much less share your heart. Even then, never question that I love you."

He saw the tears forming at the corners of her eyes and her grim determination to keep them at bay. He walked slowly towards her and sat down on the bed. He cupped her face and brushed away the single tear that she couldn't hold back.

He continued, "Everything I've done up to this point in life was about my desire to fly, my desire to be like my father. I know I've not talked about him with you, and I hope to change that, if you ever want to know. But know for the first 28 years of my life, he was everything I aspired to be."

"But you also made me realize something today. I want to be like my father, but who was my father really? Was he just a man with the same job I took up - flying for the Navy? Or was he a man who cared about others, who didn't judge, who saw the best in people when they themselves struggle to sometimes?"

"I don't really know who my father is as a man outside of what he did. But I know the kind of man he'd want me to be. And who you deserve to have in your life."

"And maybe, just maybe, if you feel I could see the best in you, know it's because I fell in love with you, even when I didn't know it at the time. And I'm hoping maybe it's the same for you with me. Maybe you can see through all this crap and see who I am, because you love me."

She gave him a little smile, "I think I might even like you a little."

He grinned, "You think?"

She nodded before turning serious again, "But why are you saying all this, Harm?"

"I'm saying... maybe you're right about law school. You've been right about everything else, from the minute we met." he grinned lovingly at her, "That's annoying by the way, that you can read me so clearly and I have no idea what you're thinking of sometimes."

"If you wanna know, all you have to do is ask."

"What are you thinking of now?"

"I'm thinking about how much I wanna kiss you right now."

He leaned in gently and she pulled him closer, positively jamming her lips against his. She pulled him onto bed, straddled him and proceeded to kiss him senseless. And just as suddenly she stopped.

"Mac?" he asked, dazed and confused from the rapid 0 to 60 and then back to 0 make out session.

She looked down at him. "So, you're taking up law? For me?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No. I'm taking up law so I can be more like you. For me."

She swooped down to kiss him again, and this time she didn't bother to stop.

oxoxoxo

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Harm asked.

Mac looked back at him. "Please stop asking, Harm. It's getting harder to tell you no."

"Then..."

"I'm not about to show up at Camp Lajeune making out with my boyfriend in our rental car." she whispered, "Possibly making whoopie too."

"Well, Marines do ride Navy." Harm said saucily prompting Mac to smack him hard against the arm.

Harm opened the door of the cab waiting outside the Rabb farmhouse. "Promise me you'll take care, Marine."

"Promise me you'll do the same, sailor."

They stared at each other, their gazes electric. Just hours after a marathon session that had seen them make love numerous times the night before, they were already aroused enough to forget the world and lock themselves in the bedroom again.

"Ahem." Grams cleared her throat noisily to break the spell.

"Tell me when you get accepted to Georgetown?" Mac asked.

"We might already know if you let me apply to Duke."

"I don't think we'd get any studying done if you went to Duke, Harm."

"Maybe not law, but I'm sure we would have studied something more fun."

"Down, boy." she joked.

"Permission to kiss the Lieutenant?" he asked.

"Only if you promise it'll end in 4 seconds or less."

"Why 4 seconds?"

"Oh shut up." she said as she grabbed his head and kissed him passionately. Four seconds later she was done and she licked her lips, reveling in the taste of his lips on hers. "Yum."

"God, Marine..."

"Bye Sarah." Sarah Rabb came over and hugged the Marine, essentially stopping her grandson from delaying Mac further with their incessant flirting. "Call when you get the time."

"I will Grams. Take care of Harm?"

"Like you have to ask. Don't worry, I'll make sure he won't have time to get himself into trouble."

"I'm right here, you know." he complained, garnering no sympathy from either Sarahs.

Mac climbed into the cab and Sarah Rabb closed the door. They watched as the cab pulled away slowly, driving up the small lane until it was out of view.

Sarah Rabb wrapped an arm around her grandson's waist - she knew he needed a hug right about then.

"You know, that's the second time I'm seeing her ride away in a cab, Grams."

"Just because it's happened before doesn't make it easier, does it?"

"Nope. It only seems to make it harder."

Sensing her grandson's darkening mood, she pulled him with her, "Come on, Harmon. I promised Mac that I'll keep you out of trouble."

"Grams, you say that like I'm a walking health hazard."

"Harmon, you're a Rabb. You should come with a Surgeon General's warning."

oxoxoxo

Grams led him to the old storage shed, where a giant tarp covered the last thing he'd expected to find. She had him remove the tarp and when he did, he could only stare at his grandmother, his eyes wide in disbelief.

"Grams, what's this?"

"Sweet Jesus. You've only been out of one a few months and you already don't know what that is?" Grams glared back at her grandson. "What's it look like?"

His eyes took in the classic lines of the unpainted silver biplane. "It's a Stearman Model 75. Like the one Grandpa used to fly in the war."

"Your father wanted to restore her. He'd done most of the rustproofing, rewelded the fuselage and sanded it smooth. He was starting work on the engine and the starter when..."

Her voice faded. Harm remembered. The Summer of 66' when his dad had been deployed to South East Asia with the escalation of the war in Vietnam.

"This has been here all this time?" Harm asked.

"Twenty five years. I'll come in here every few weeks just to make sure the whole thing hasn't fallen to rust."

"You didn't sell it?"

"You have no idea how many times I was tempted to Harmon. But... I couldn't do it. Not to your father. Not to you."

"Me?"

"Your father wanted it to be something he could give you when you were older. He even planned to teach you to fly in this thing."

"You didn't get rid of it for me?"

"Well, not just for you. It gave me an excuse to give Gus a call to come up here from time to time."

"Gus?"

"Gus Goodwind. He owns the local garage."

Harm vaguely remembered Ol' Gus. Still handsome despite being in his late sixties, blessed with a luxurious mane of silver hair, still had all his original teeth and...

"Goodtime Gus?!" Harm shouted. Gus had a reputation as the local Casanova and Lothario around the senior circuit - a role that Mac teased Harm about, saying he could easily play it when he himself got older.

oxoxoxo

"How about Handsome Harmon?" Mac whispered in his ear, turning him red... as bright a shade as the beets he was choosing.

"Mac." he turned to admonish her but she was already gone, flitting out of sight as if nothing had happened.

She had insisted on playing this silly game, where they pretended they didn't know each other at the local produce store. Instead they'd go about their shopping separately, and well, occasionally admire each other.

In a way it was an easy sell because having some distance between them allowed Harm to really check her out. Mac in her Van Halen T-shirt, tight skinny jeans that showed off her shapely legs and butt; and some really cute cowboy boots she picked up once he told her they were coming to a farm. He teased her about them but they looked really good on her - especially when she came to bed with only them on.

He had to look away quickly because he was sure everyone in the store knew where his dirty, filthy, hopelessly enamored mind was. It was in the gutter. Beyond the gutter. If he didn't know her already, he'd be trying his best to get to know her better... starting in the back seat of Grams' pickup truck.

About five minutes ago, Mac heard the rumor of an old mechanic with an alliterative moniker who... serviced more than just old engines around these parts.

"Hot stuff Harm." she flitted by again, whispering as she came close to him to check out the beets.

"Mac..."

"Horny Harm?"

He had enough of her teasing and decided to flip the tables on her. He whispered in her ear, "Kinda hard to be servicing the masses when I'll be busy banging your brains out at eighty, Marine."

And he walked away victorious with a wide smile when he saw her turn bright red instantly.

Of course she had gotten him back soon after.

The aisles in the market were narrow - not inhumanely so but two people walking by each other would have to be comfortable enough to get within a half-inch of touching.

Harm was studying the canned tropical fruit mix when Mac reached past him to pick up another can. She didn't have to stand right behind him to do this, and she certainly didn't have to push her ample breasts right against his back, but she did.

"Mac?"

"Hmm?" she asked absently as she pressed against him further to put the can back. For good measure she rubbed up against him a little more before going on her merry way, acting as if everything was normal.

Harm shook his head to clear it and continued his shopping. Only for Mac to pull the same stunt in the next aisle over. This time he knew the drill and instead of stepping closer to the shelf in front of him, he stepped back so she couldn't possibly rub her boobs against his back.

Big mistake. Mac stopped right in front of him, bent over to check the bottom shelf and backed up against his groin.

"Mac..."

She started swaying her hips against his, just slightly, but with her tight jeans and his suddenly very tight pants, he could feel every glorious curve and movement.

She hemmed and hawed as if she was considering a major life decision right there on the bottom shelf, all the while keeping him pinned. Harm looked around and was glad no one had seen them. He warned Mac again.

"Mac, if you don't stop that, I'm going to get us arrested for public indecency in about ten seconds."

That stilled her movements. Until he heard her say.

"Ten. Nine. Eight..."

"Mac!" he hissed. "I'm not kidding."

She paused. "... Seven."

"Mac..." he pleaded. "My grandmother shops here..."

Mac sighed and stood up. "Fine, Hardwood Harmon." she patted the bulge in his pants playfully as she left him. Harm glared at her - that woman was positively... evil! He hoped Grams wouldn't get too mad that he decided to skip the rest of her shopping list.

oxoxoxo

There was one stop he needed to make before they headed back to the farmhouse, and he had no intention of telling Mac what he needed. It was going to be embarrassing enough without her constant teasing.

The drugstore was empty and Harm was glad for it. Belleville wasn't exactly a nowhere town, but it was still small enough for acquaintances to run into each other regularly, usually when you last wanted to.

He went up to the drug store clerk and hoped that the pimply faced 20-year old wouldn't be juvenile about this. Harm was glad he hadn't brought Mac in or the clerk would be too busy drooling to be of any help.

Harm glanced round once more to check the coast was clear before pointing out his purchase.

"The condoms?" the clerk asked in too loud a voice. Harm nodded vigorously, hoping the kid would just shut up and get this done.

"Regular pack or twelve pack?"

Harm did quick math based on how many more days Mac was around. "Twelve."

"We have a special on the value pack, thirty-six..."

"Twelve is just fine." Harm said, hoping the kid would just stop trying to upsell and just sell him the damn things already.

"You want the ultra thins or the..."

"Whatever's on sale." Harm blurted out quickly.

"I'll have to check." the kid ducked out from behind the counter to disappear into the back room.

"No, I'll take whatever you have! I'll take all of it..." Harm shouted to stop him but to no avail. So he stood there, conscious that every second he spent in here, the odds of discovery increased.

And his odds took an immediate nosedive when he heard the little bell on top of the entrance chime. "Harmon Rabb! As I live and breathe."

Of all the people who had to walk in, it had to be them! Harm turned around with a forced grin on his face. "Hi, Mrs. Jacoby. Ladies."

Mrs. Ida Jacoby and her roving gang of church ladies were the local source of scuttlebutt and news - often one and the same in their minds. He didn't know how they spread the word so quickly, but he swore it seemed like what went in their ears was instantly broadcasted to the world at large.

"You're helping Grams Rabb out on the farm?" Ida asked.

"Yup." Harm said reticently.

"Staying long?"

"Not sure yet."

"You know, I was just asking Shirley, you know Shirley Perkins here..." she pointed to the shorter woman on her right "...Anyway, I was asking her, 'Whatever happened to that Harmon Rabb, I wonder' and now look at you, you're here. From our mouths to God's ears."

"Yeah." Harm said, hoping they'd move on before the clerk returned.

"Do you remember Myra?" Ida asked.

Myra Jacoby - her daughter. How could he forget blonde, leggy, hourglass shaped Myra? Myra who he had fooled around with on that June before Plebe Summer. Sometimes he wondered if the Jacoby's hadn't stolen Myra from some family of supermodels, as she looked nothing like her parents.

"Um, yeah. How is she?" he asked out of politeness.

"She's home."

"Oh."

"Wait 'til I tell her I met you. She'll be thrilled to catch up..."

"So the Pleasure Packs are on sale..."

Harm saw all five women's faces go into complete shock, their eyebrows disappearing somewhere into their respective heavily dyed hairlines. He turned around to the pimply young clerk and said through gritted teeth, "Yeah, that's fine."

"You sure twelve is enough?"

Harm wanted him to stop talking. "Yes."

"Because if you buy two packs..."

"I'm good. Please."

"So, twelve XL-size condoms..."

Harm cried internally, _Why did the clerk have to give a running commentary now?_ Harm threw what he hoped was enough money on the counter, not caring if he got change, grabbed the pack and rushed out, ignoring the pointed stares of the church ladies.

"Good day Mrs. Jacoby, ladies."

He crossed the street to Grams' pickup truck, fully aware that they were still staring at him. He got in and was glad that Mac was still playing with the radio inside so she was at least partially hidden from the women. He had no intention of having them see Mac and talk about her behind their back.

"What did you buy, sailor?" Mac asked.

Harm blushed when he realized he had the pack in his hand. Both their eyes went to it at the same time. Mac looked back at him.

"I'm only going to be around until Friday, Harm. That's two days."

"Three, if you count today." he winked at her as he put the truck in gear and quickly got out of there.

Mac blushed and tried to keep her mind from freaking out. They might not get through the whole pack, she knew... but she also knew that didn't mean they both wouldn't try.

oxoxoxo

It had been three days since Mac left, and Harm was back in the storage shed again, looking up at the biplane he'd just been given. It still boggled his mind that his father and his grandmother had planned this gift for him all those years ago.

Harm ran his hand over every seam and weld. It was expertly done, the lines were smooth and clean, possibly smoother and cleaner than the day it had been forged new at the Stearman plant. The steel was cold to his touch.

At some point he'll have to climb into the two cockpits and check if the rudders and flaps worked, and at some point he'll have to grease and oil every moving part, but those were the mechanics. The bodywork though was immaculate and from his initial eyeball, he could see that all the plane's body needed was a coat of paint.

But he wasn't here to run the rule over the biplane. He was here because of the envelope in his hand.

It was from Georgetown University.

It felt thick and heavy. That should mean good news right? If they wanted to tell him to get lost, surely they wouldn't have needed more than a single sheet to tell him to do so. And it's unlikely they would have printed a banner size sheet, neatly folded into the envelope to tell him so either.

But the doubt remained.

He was here because the plane was the closest thing, only thing, he had of his father's. In a strange way, standing here in the shadow of the plane his father had so lovingly started to restore, not only made him feel closer to his father, but to his grandfather as well.

And in a way, it allowed him to feel as if he had their blessing to put down the Navy's gold wings and embrace another career. Another future.

A future he still had no idea if he had.

Grams sat in the corner, eyeing her grandson as he finally turned his attention from the plane and back to the envelope. She was silent because she was praying.

His hands shook as it tore the flap, carefully at first, but when it finally ripped jaggedly, he stop being too bothered to keep the envelope intact. He pulled out the sheets of paper inside and unfolded it. He took a breath and read the first lines.

Grams stared at her grandson and knew. The minute his Rabb smile hit her eyes, she couldn't help but jump up and praise the Lord.

"I got in, Grams. I'm going to law school."

* * *

**AN**: When I started this, I thought I would have started running out of ideas by now. But I was wrong. I don't know how many more stories of this series I have, but I hope you'll let me find out. :)


	6. Washington, DC, 1991

**AN:** Thank you, thank you, thank you everybody for all your kind words and reviews. It does pick me up and motivate me to continue writing this series. And I'm already trying to write as fast as I can! :D

For my next trick... I've never done a crossover before. I don't know if this qualifies - but if it does, woo hoo! If it sucks, I warned you. Fingers crossed. :)

* * *

**CHAPTER 6: WASHINGTON, D.C, 1991**

DECEMBER 1991  
WASHINGTON, D.C.

Snow came in sideways as it blanketed most of the nation's capital, snarling traffic in its white wintry grasp. Cars horned irately - as if mother nature was intimidated by such behavior. She wasn't and the snow continued unabated.

Wipers swished rapidly across the screen of First Lieutenant Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie's jeep. She was dressed like a polar explorer, mostly because as hardy and indomitable as the noble jeep she drove was, it also lacked a really effective heater, making it an igloo. Ironic, since in the heat of summer with the car baking at almost 100-degrees and lacking an effective A/C, it was also a furnace.

She knew driving the 258 miles between Durham, NC up to Washington, D.C was probably crazy. _As crazy as 'flying from Okinawa to San Diego after his crash' crazy? _Granted it wasn't the craziest thing she'd ever done, but doing it with this beat up old jeep was pushing it mightily close.

Of course she had good reason to do this. She missed him. Okay, not good reason then, but a pretty compelling one in her mind and she dared anyone to question it.

oxoxoxo

The square squat concrete building of the Naval Investigative Service wasn't an outstanding piece of architecture. In fact, it probably aimed to be the dullest building in existence, and if it did, then it succeeded beyond its wildest dreams.

The interior was no better, Lieutenant j.g. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr. concluded, as plain wall after plain wall stared back at him. Even the whitewash took on a dull gray pallor that seemed to suck the life out of the building's occupants with frightening efficiency.

The security system though had been recently upgraded with advanced electronic sensors, key card access and computerized ID tags. Thick steel doors guarded the entrances - and a similar system guarded the windows. Looking through the thick metal bars, Harm couldn't help but think how much more of a prison - of body, mind and spirit - this building could be.

He looked at the heavy snow falling outside before glancing up at the clock on the wall. It was 1420 local and already the skies were dark.

It was Christmas Eve and he was stuck here in a near empty office. Most of the right minded people who worked here had wisely taken off before the snow and ice had finally shut down D.C's airports.

All other military personnel - as few as there were, had also secured for the day. Part of the updating of the security system was to reduce the need for military personnel at this location anyway.

Of course, he was the lone exception - because he was not a guard. He was a lowly law student and had been roped in to help NIS go through their immense case load.

It didn't help that the infamous Tailhook incident had happened in September, starting a monstrous investigation into more than 100 US Navy and Marine Corps aviation officers who stood accused of sexually assaulting and harassing 90 people, mostly women, at the Tailhook Symposium in Nevada.

Harm sighed. If not for his crash, he might have been at Tailhook. And though he knew he wouldn't have sexually assaulted or harassed anyone, he also knew that he might have been caught laughing at the wrong joke at the wrong time - and that seemed enough for a reprimand nowadays.

Harm looked across the office space, looking for the two NIS officers who were the reason why he was still stuck here. His orders were clear, he couldn't secure for the day until everyone from the investigation team had - and it was just his luck he had been saddled with the two hardest working agents in the damned place.

Someone set a paper cup of hot vending machine coffee down beside him, catching him by surprise. Harm looked at the man who had successfully snuck up on him - and saw the strong, mature, masculine features of Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

"Thanks." Harm accepted the drink and took a sip - it was just like Gibbs, straight up, no-nonsense, unsweetened and in-your-face strong. Most days it was intolerable, but today wasn't like most days. Today, pure black coffee was perfect because it mirrored Harm's dark mood.

Gibbs took a seat nearby and sipped his own brew. He stared at the unhappy young Naval officer in dress blues, and knew for sure the young man had to have better plans than to work on Christmas Eve.

"Who did you piss off to pull this shift, Lieutenant?" Gibbs asked.

"Probably the entire Navy." Harm said darkly.

"What'd you do? Sleep with the SecNav's wife or something?"

"... Crashed a $40 million jet on the Seahawk."

Gibbs stared at the young Lieutenant j.g. "If you're responsible for my new taxes, then you're not on my good side either."

That candid remark made Harm lighten up a tad, "How about you? Why are you here on Christmas Eve?"

"Lesson one, you don't get to ask me questions."

Harm raised an eyebrow at that, "But you do? That's not fair."

"Lesson two, life's not fair."

"Well, I can see why you're stuck here today, Mr. Grinch."

"Name's Gibbs."

"I know what I said."

Gibbs glared at the surly young Lieutenant, and couldn't help but smile. He found the man's foul mood refreshing. He hated those damn officers who acted so damn cheery all the goddamn time, as if their vacant smiles, like their collar devices, came government-issued.

The former Marine was about to reply when there was an almighty crack of lightning followed by a woman's loud scream as the entire office was plunged into darkness.

"Was that-?" Harm asked, but Gibbs was already out of his seat and heading towards the sound. Gibbs found the woman on the ground rubbing her keister, sore from where she landed on it. "Jenny?"

Special Agent Jenny Shepard looked up in Gibbs' direction, not seeing him in the dark but her ears homed in on his voice. "Gibbs?"

Gibbs helped her up from the floor, even as Harm moved hesitantly towards them. Gibbs saw the Lieutenant struggle and knock over some pens from a desk.

"Crap." Harm cursed.

"What's wrong, Lieutenant?" Gibbs asked.

"I can't see."

"Give your eyes time to adjust."

"... That's just it, they won't adjust. I have night blindness, I can't see a thing."

"Stay there." Gibbs ordered before turning to the young redhead. "You okay?"

Jenny's eyes adjusted to the conditions and nodded. "Yeah."

"You have a flashlight, right?" Gibbs asked.

"Top drawer, on the left." she pointed out the general direction and Gibbs left her to find it. It was where she said it was. He switched it on.

"What happened?" Jenny asked as the three of them gathered around the source of light.

"Either we blew a fuse or the power lines went down." Harm surmised as Gibbs checked the phones.

"Phones still work though." the older man reported. "So that's good news."

"Well, why don't we just get the hell out of here and let the power company sort all this out tomorrow?" Jenny said.

Gibbs and Harm both silently agreed. None of them looked like an electrician and weren't about to learn how to be one now.

With Jenny taking lead, the two men followed her towards the exit - only to find that the heavy doors wouldn't open. Jenny tapped her security pass on the keypad and got nothing. No beep, no lights, no unlocking of the doors. Nothing.

"Damn. The power's really out." Jenny said as she tried the door handle. It wouldn't budge.

"Aren't there backup generators?" Harm asked.

"Yeah." Jenny replied.

"Then?"

"Obviously they're not working." Gibbs pointed out the obvious.

"So what? We're trapped?" Harm looked at the two NIS agents.

"Looks that way." Gibbs replied.

"Crap."

oxoxoxo

Jenny hung up the phone. "Great. The storm has knocked out parts of the grid trapping hundreds of people in the city, so we're pretty low on their list of priorities."

She ran frustrated fingers through her hair, "Maybe I should have told them we were freezing down here."

They weren't, and they weren't about to place personal needs over the importance of someone else's life.

Gibbs studied the door mechanism intently - it was tamperproof. "Damn." He cussed before turning to Harm. "Rabb, you any good with tools?"

"I'm a pretty good carpenter."

He had Gibbs' attention. "Really? What do you build?"

"I mostly do farm and house repairs."

"Oh."_ 'A DIY guy'_, Gibbs thought with disgust. "I build boats."

He didn't miss Gibbs' disdain, "Well, I'm restoring a biplane right now."

"Twenty-foot S-bottom hull."

"Classic Stearman Model-75."

Jenny rolled her eyes, "Boys, boys, if you're measuring whose got the biggest drill bit, can it at least wait 'til we get out of here?"

Chastised, Harm glanced at Gibbs and sighed. "So what's the plan?"

oxoxoxo

Harm had his jacket and tie off and was currently staring at the back of the massive backup power unit of NIS. Every electrical system in the place ran through here, and Harm hoped it didn't choose to run through him should he touch something wrong by accident.

He removed the main access panel and slid it away. Gibbs observed from a distance, sipping calmly on his now lukewarm coffee.

Looking around with the flashlight, Harm sniffed the air. "Doesn't seem like anything was fried." before he started checking on the individual fuses, all two hundred of them, one by one. "This might take a while though."

"Got nowhere better to be." Gibbs said, his hard voice revealing nothing, as always.

"How come you're not with family?" Harm asked.

"How come _you're_ not with family?" Gibbs asked back.

"Stuck here with you guys, remember?"

Gibbs nodded his acknowledgment, though Harm didn't see it. "So you're studying law?" Gibbs changed the subject.

"Yup. Georgetown."

"You any good?"

"Hope so." Harm struggled with a stiff fuse but it soon came unstuck.

"What, no cocky comeback?" Gibbs smirked, "What kind of naval officer are you?"

"A grounded one." Harm replied plainly, and the double meaning was not lost on Gibbs who recalled Harm's earlier story.

"Something to do with crashing that plane?"

Harm peeked out from behind the fuse box and looked at the older man. "Tomcat ramp strike. Killed my RIO."

"Your night blindness?"

"Yeah." Harm returned to checking the fuses.

"You have family in the area?" Gibbs asked out of curiosity.

Harm shook his head, "Mom's in California, grandmother in Pennsylvania."

"Girlfriends?" and Gibbs knew he had to have at least one.

"North Carolina."

"... The entire state?" Gibbs asked incredulously.

Harm chuckled, "No, she's stationed there."

"Stationed? What does she do?"

Harm couldn't help but shine his brilliant Rabb smile whenever he thought of Mac, "She's a Marine."

That cracked through the former Marine's tough exterior, "You know, I think I'm starting to think you're smarter than you look."

"How about you? Any family?"

And Gibbs' expression darkened immediately. _He could still see them whenever he closed his eyes. They were killed while he was away. Killed. Murdered. Taken from him. His wonderful wife, Shannon. Their beautiful eight-year old daughter, Kelly._

Gibbs shook off the memory. "You're forgetting lesson one, squid."

"Yeah, well I was never good at learning my lessons. So, who do you have out there waiting for you?"

Gibbs ignored the question again, "What's it look like back there?"

"Might be here a while to see what fuse does what. I'm just checking to see if anything is fried and we'll try and fix it." Harm answered, before pressing on, "Gibbs, if you don't wanna talk about it."

Gibbs looked at the young naval officer. "There's nothing to talk about."

They glared at each other a second longer, before Harm relented, "Okay."

Gibbs was surprised by how easy the man dropped the subject. "An ambulance chaser who respects peoples' boundaries? They're gonna eat you alive in court, Lieutenant."

"Well, just because I'm studying law doesn't mean I need to lack manners, Gibbs." Harm grinned, "I'll leave that to the Marines."

Gibbs snorted at the insult, "You kiss your girlfriend with that mouth?"

"You should hear what comes out of hers." Harm grin widened before he returned his attention to the fuses.

Gibbs couldn't help but ask. "You love her?"

"Who?"

"Who else?"

Harm paused to think of Mac, "Yeah, I do."

"You thinking about getting married?" Gibbs asked.

"... Haven't thought about it, really." Harm admitted.

"Well, my advice is..." Gibbs fixed him with a steely glare. "... don't."

Harm looked at Gibbs but before he could ask him why, the older man walked away to dump his empty coffee cup in the trash. Harm pulled out another fuse and found it charred.

"I think I found our problem."

oxoxoxo

Jenny Shepard was seated at her desk when the lights in the NIS bullpen flicked back on, illuminating the room. She was on her feet immediately and went to check on the security door. The lights were flashing as the system rebooted - it worked!

She heard Gibbs and the law student Rabb who was pulling on his jacket come up from the basement.

"What was the issue?"

"Burnt fuse." Harm explained.

"You found a spare?" Jenny asked, prompting both men to give each other cryptic looks.

"Yeah, let's just say I don't think the electricians guild is gonna approve of our solution." Gibbs replied as they gathered up all their stuff and stood before the steel doors.

"Well, let's hope this works anyway." she said as she tapped her security tag on the panel. The locks of the metal doors clicked and slid away, unlocking the doors. Jenny turned the knob, and the doors swung open. Harm and Jenny breathed audible sighs of relief while Gibbs looked as if he was used to this happened all the time.

They stepped out into the glorious, winter wonderland that was D.C. It was already dark outside being way after six p.m. However the storm had blown over, leaving only a tranquil blanket of white.

Wrapping up warmly, they stepped out into the parking lot. "Looks like the storm has passed." Jenny commented, though the storm had also left a string of broken branches and uprooted trees in its wake.

Something caught Gibbs' eye and he turned to Harm. "That your girl?"

Harm whirled around to see the last person he expected to see coming towards him. "Mac?"

"Hey, sailor. Miss me?" she wrapped an arm around his waist as he pulled her into a monster hug. He held on tightly before realizing how she got in. All flights had been cancelled, meaning...

"You drove up here from Duke?"

"Just got in before the snowstorm really hit." she smiled, the cold air making her cheeks and nose rosy pink.

Harm looked across the lot and saw her 'car', "You drove here in that?!"

She looked back at the jeep, "What? It's a classic."

"Mac, a Corvette is a classic. That's a deathtrap!"

Gibbs patted Harm on the back, "Good to see the Navy and Marines getting along so famously, as usual."

Harm turned to the two NIS agents trying their best to hide their amusement. Gibbs was a pro, Jenny though failed miserably.

"Mac, these are Special Agents Leroy Gibbs and Jenny Shepard. Gibbs, Jenny, First Lieutenant Sarah MacKenzie."

Gibbs shook her proffered hand, "Can't say I approve of your choice of companion, Lieutenant."

"Well, unfortunately we can't all choose our assignments, Agent Gibbs." she shot back, earning a smile from the former Marine.

Harm extended his own hand to shake Gibbs'. "See you around."

"I'm sure you will, Rabb. I'm sure you will."

As Harm walked away with Mac, Gibbs called out, "And Rabb!"

"Yeah?"

"Try and stay out of trouble."

Harm looked at Mac, "Why does everyone say that to me?"

She chuckled as she wrapped her arm tighter around his, "Because you are trouble personified, sailor." before winking at him, "But oh so worth it."

Jenny stared at the two lovers walking away. "Cute couple." she said to Gibbs.

Gibbs though was silent, his mind somewhere else, someplace else. _He met Shannon on that train platform in Pennsylvania..._

Jenny turned to him and asked, "You up for some coffee?"

That seemed to shake him out of his daydream, "Sure. You buying?"

Jenny rolled her eyes before agreeing good-naturedly, "Sure."

And they walked towards the closest diner together.

oxoxoxo

They had a quick bite to eat at a small fastfood joint that seemed to serve everything Mac loved - primarily burgers the size of her head. Harm looked at the Beltway Burgers menu for a healthier solution and found they had a salad. When it arrived, it was swimming in even more oil than the burgers. As a result he picked at it sparingly, refusing Mac's offer to split her burger with him.

"You know, I've never understood your diet. Do you hate meat that much?"

"Actually, I love it."

Mac froze, the half-eaten burger halfway to her face and stared at him as if he'd just admitted to being a woman. "What? But you don't eat..."

"I love it too much, Mac. You should have seen me when I was nine. I think I weighed the same as I do now."

"You were..." she struggled to picture him fat.

"Chubby? Chunky? Heavy? A full on fatty? Yeah, all of the above."

She stared at him now and a brief image of him shirtless flashed in her head. He was lean, stickboy lean, muscularly well-built stickboy lean. "I can't believe you were overweight as a child."

"I wasn't overweight, Marine. I was morbidly obese. I think if Grams hadn't stepped in with an alternate menu, I'd probably be dead of a heart attack by 14."

Mac set the burger down. "Does this bother you?"

"About as much as my drinking bothers you."

"So not at all?" Mac asked hopefully.

He chuckled, "Well, to tell you the truth as someone who has gone to the extreme, I do worry about your health a little. But I also completely understand why you love dead cow so much."

"We could go someplace else, you know." she offered.

Harm cocked an eyebrow at her. "And have you miserable the rest of the night? No thanks. Besides, just like how you conquered your addiction, I'd like to think I conquered mine."

That didn't stop him from stealing the occasional french fry from her plate. After a while though he realized she was constantly staring at him, from the neck down.

"Whatcha thinkin' about there, Mac?" he asked.

"Mmm?" Mac looked up and her face went red instantly. "N-nothing."

He pointed at her blush, "That doesn't look like nothing. Spill."

"Remind me to thank Grams for changing your diet." Mac said shyly as she took another bite of the burger.

"Oh, care to elaborate?"

Her blush grew brighter, and Harm quickly let this line of questioning go because he did not want the woman who filled his dreams at night to choke on her food.

Harm still couldn't get over the fact that she was here, even though he told her that he couldn't get away. She could have gone back west to visit her uncle, but she was here instead.

"I can't believe you drove up to see me. What about your uncle?"

"He understood. I mean, a plane ticket back to Phoenix, then a shuttle to Mesa would have cost me way too much anyway." Mac explained then realized, maybe he had other plans... "I hope I'm not interrupting..."

Harm shook his head and smiled as he also stole a sip from her hot chocolate. "D.C's snowed in remember? Can't get a flight to either San Diego or Philly."

"Trish and Grams didn't offer to come in for the holidays?"

"Oh, they offered. But I figured since I'm staying on base..." Harm then realized the problem with having guests. "Mac, where are you gonna stay?"

Mac batted her lashes at him. "I was hoping you'd keep me warm tonight, sailor."

Harm felt his face... among other parts heat up. "As tempted as I am to make that happen, I don't think the Navy is gonna let me keep you in my room."

"Relax Harm. I got a room. I'm even willing to share."

Harm looked at her and sighed, "Grams was right, you are smarter than me. I wouldn't have thought all that through."

"Hah, that's because you always expect me to come up with a dispassionate plan."

"Dispassionate? Care to show me just how dispassionate this plan is?" his eyes glinted with anything but dispassion.

"Oh, I can give you dispassionate if you want."

Mac leaned in, inviting him to lean over the table to kiss her, but she ducked away at the last second to take a french fry instead, leaving him hanging. She laughed at the expression on his face.

"Dispassionate enough for you?"

His eyes narrowed, not appreciating her trick, "You're mean, Marine."

She looked at him with mock innocence and Harm just couldn't stay mad.

oxoxoxo

With traffic still backed up all along the city center thanks to the heavy snowfall, Mac had parked about a quarter mile away from the restaurant. However without any wind whipping through the city, it was actually a mild winter night, and a surprisingly very pleasant one.

This also gave Harm a chance to show off the beauty of the city at night. Admittedly, he wasn't a skilled tour guide so they wandered a little aimlessly, more intent on just walking with each other than taking in the sights. Mac didn't seem to mind, and he didn't either.

As they left the Lincoln Memorial and walked past the frozen reflecting pool, Harm talked about anything and everything, finding a rapt audience in Mac. However, Harm stopped suddenly when he finally realized where they were. He stared off into the distance.

"Harm, what is it? What's wrong?" Mac quizzed him worriedly.

"It's Christmas Eve."

"Yeah?"

"My father was shot down over Vietnam on Christmas Eve." Harm continued staring straight ahead, prompting Mac to see what he was looking at.

The black granite monument stretched out in front of them, lit by small candles that littered the ground with trinkets, gifts and photographs amidst hastily cleared patches of snow. There were visitors even on this night.

"That's the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall." Harm explained. "My father's name is probably on it."

Mac looked up at him. _Probably?_ "You don't know?"

"I've never been."

Mac could see the inner turmoil mar his handsome features. He was drawn and repulsed by the place, the need to see his father equally balanced by the need to not be reminded of the pain of losing him.

"Do you want to see him?"

For a long second it seemed as if he would turn to leave. Mac was ready if he chose to, so she was caught by surprise when he answered instead, "Yeah."

They walked silently past panel after panel etched with the names of the fallen and the missing. The names were listed chronologically. He searched the West wall, going backwards in time until he came to the right time period. His heart pounded hard in his chest.

_What if his father's name wasn't there? What would that mean? Would that mean he was still alive? Maybe he didn't get shot down!_ His fingers traced the wall until he found a familiar name.

Harmon Rabb Snr.

Tears instantly formed in his eyes. He tried to stop his body from shaking, from having his soul ripped from his body. He felt sick to his stomach, like he'd been punched, like he'd been gutted.

He wasn't sure if his knees would keep him upright and Mac must have seen it because her arm was instantly around him, propping him up, supporting him. He turned to her and rested his cheek against the top of her head.

Mac felt him shake in her embrace and felt drops hit her scalp. It took her a second to realize it was his tears. She tightened her embrace around his waist and turned him slightly away from anyone close by, shielding him from view, allowing him to cry, giving him the privacy to be weak.

She heard his voice, shaky from raw emotion whisper softly. "Thank you, Sarah."

Her heart bled for him. She held him closer and allowed him to grieve.

oxoxoxo

Mac led Harm through the revolving door and into the hotel lobby. Considering the neighborhood it was in, it was surprisingly clean, and there was at least an attempt at luxury - though gauche as it was. Harm took in the surroundings, impressed that Mac had found this place - in as bad a neighborhood as it was - within her budget.

He let out a low whistle. "Impressive, Marine."

"I'm always impressive." she winked cheekily.

Before Harm could retort, he heard a low husky voice behind him say, "Welcome back, honey."

He turned toward it and was surprised to see... a woman standing there in a slinky female Santa outfit.

Mac smiled at the woman, "Hi, Sashay."

Harm couldn't help but be impressed by how well the other woman filled out her snug sexy female Santa dress with it cut right up to there... especially considering 'she' was also a 6'5" heavily muscled man in drag.

Sashay lived up to her name as she walked over, all the while eyeing Harm with an appreciative leer. "This is your... friend?"

"Yup." Mac nodded as she linked her arm through Harm's. "Harm, I'd like you to meet..."

"Sashay." Harm smiled as he extended his hand to shake hers. Sashay looked almost offended that he'd use such a masculine greeting, before winking playfully and gripping his hand in a firm handshake. As she released his hand, Sashay couldn't help but take a closer look at the handsome Naval officer, "Mmm, you are cute. I can see why she likes you."

Mac's eyes dared him to make fun of her. He tapped her nose playfully with a fingertip as he gave her his brightest smile, "Yeah, well, the feeling's mutual." drawing from Mac a wide smile in return.

Sashay admired the beautiful young lovebirds, feeling her heart go all aflutter. "Well, you know which room's yours, honey. Remember, play nice." Sashay winked at them before retreating from view.

"Play nice?" Harm asked Mac as she led them to their room.

"Or would you prefer me to be naughty this year, sailor?" she purred suggestively.

Harm could feel his face redden to the tip of his ears, prompting Mac to laugh at him. "Harmon Rabb, you are such a prude."

That sounded like a challenge to him. He fixed her with his sexiest gaze, "I am. Care to cure me of it, Marine?"

Harm knew he had her when he saw her own face redden at the thought. He was about to tease her about it when she opened the door to reveal their room. He stared at her with wide-eyed awe.

"Mac, it's..."

"Amazing isn't it?"

"Yeah."

And Mac smiled, remembering how just mere hours ago she had walked into this hotel with more hope than cash to find a room.

oxoxoxo

Mac walked into the hotel lobby and realized that whatever she had to pay for a room here was probably already too much. She just hoped that it wasn't way too much. Of course that might be a moot point, they may not even have room.

The hotel wasn't terrible looking enough to match the neighborhood it was in, meaning the owners actually cared about their service - which meant it wasn't going to be cheap, especially not on Christmas Eve. Of course getting a room on Christmas Eve itself was actually nothing short of a miracle, even with the mad weather outside.

Mac stared at the woman whose name tag proudly proclaimed her to be 'Sashay'.

"Hi?" Mac greeted her.

"Hi honey. Lemme guess, you wanna know if there's room at the inn?"

"Yeah." Mac nodded, trying not to take her eyes off the clerk's heavily made-up face - because she wasn't sure if it was rude to stare at anything else.

"You're in luck." the clerk said huskily, though it could just be the fact that she had a very masculine voice. "I've got two for you to choose from. Though seeing you're all alone..."

Normally if a man spoke to her that way, Mac would have planted her size 9 boots far up his six. But Sashay was obviously not propositioning her. Obviously.

"No, I'm in town to surprise my..." Mac stalled on the term boyfriend. It seemed so... trite. Harm felt more than a boyfriend, and well, he definitely didn't feel like a husband - not in her experience anyway. _Lover?_ Yeah, but that sounded tawdry. _Love of her life?_ Desperation bordering on overkill. _Soulmate?_

"My...?" Sashay asked, witnessing the great war waging inside Mac's head.

"My... best friend." Mac concluded, and somehow that fit the best. Harm was her best friend. Take away the sex (not that she planned to), he was the one person she could talk with without fear of being judged, ridiculed or rejected.

Sashay heard her words, but the romantic in her also heard the true meaning loud and clear. This 'best friend' the pretty brunette in front of her was here to see, was clearly more than just a friend. The clerk reached over for another set of keys.

"Then you're really in luck honey, because I have the perfect room for you and your... bestie."

Mac followed Sashay up to the top floor and down the hall - where she was shown into what was obviously the honeymoon suite. Mac looked up at Sashay who winked, "Call me a hopeless romantic. So, should I set up some wine by the bed?"

That stilled Mac. "No, no wine." At Sashay's questioning gaze, Mac explained. "I'm an alcoholic."

Sashay's kind expression softened further, "How long?"

"Five years, six months and 16 days."

"Seven years myself." Sashay pulled out a chain to reveal an old AA chip. "Day by day."

"Day by day." Mac nodded.

"Does your friend know?"

"He's one of the reasons that's kept me from taking another drink."

Sashay smiled, "LaVon's mine. I don't think I could ever get by without that man sometimes."

She gave Mac the grand tour - which really wasn't that grand as the room itself wasn't remotely big enough to be considered grand. Most of it was taken up by the large bed with the cupid motif headboard. It was one of the few things in the room not in pink or red.

There were also other things that suggested what the room's sole purpose was, candles, a strategically placed full length mirror, and crucially, no TV to provide distraction on one's honeymoon. Sashay pressed the key into Mac's hand and started to leave.

"Wait." Mac called out. "I don't know if I can afford this."

Glancing back at the beautiful brunette, Sashay winked again, "Don't worry about it, we'll work it out. Merry Christmas." and she left the room.

Mac clutched the key tighter in her hand and couldn't help but feel touched by Sashay's generosity. "Merry Christmas."

oxoxoxo

The adjoining bathroom revealed a bathtub big enough for two, with even more candles and a healthy assortment of bath oils with suggestive scents - Raunchy Rose, Lovers' Lavender, Sensual Sage... Harm couldn't help but smile at the cheesiness of it all even as he stepped into the shower.

Regretfully he stepped into it alone as Mac had refused his offer of taking a shower with him. As he eyed the bath oils, he knew he'd have to get her to reconsider. At least once.

He shampooed, soaped and rinsed quickly before toweling dry in record time. He wrapped a purple terrycloth bathrobe around him and stepped out into the honeymoon suite.

Obviously Mac had been busy as the lights were all off and the candles around the bed were lit. She was lying under the covers, waiting for him. He approached with a sexy grin...

And found her asleep.

"Mac?" he called quietly and she didn't stir. She was still wearing one of the bathrobes, obviously she had planned on slipping out of it the minute he stepped out of the shower, but had fallen asleep waiting for him.

Smiling, he blew out the candles and climbed in beside her. Her body by its own accord pressed closer against him and she sighed when she felt the warmth of his body against hers. He could see the smile curl her lips. He leaned in to kiss along her jaw and whispered.

"Sleep tight, Marine."

That made her eyes open a crack and she turned to him.

"It's okay, go back to sleep." he said, but she shook her head and propped herself up on her elbows to stare down at him.

She smiled sleepily, "You ready for your Christmas present, sailor?"

He saw the mischievous glint in her eyes, "What is it?"

"You're looking at it. Wanna unwrap it and play with it some?" she asked brazenly as she moved her hand down his body until she found the reaction she was aiming for. Pleased that he was up for the challenge, she looked to continue their game when an almighty yawn took hold.

"Excuse me." she apologized.

"You're tired. You drove all day to see me." he stroked her cheek, letting her know it was okay.

"Not tired..." Another monster yawn came and this time she struggled to keep her eyes open. She flopped down on his chest. "I'm so sorry, Harm. I wanted you to have a great... Christmas..."

He pressed a kiss against her temple. "Well, I think I've got pretty much the best Christmas present I've ever gotten right here. I shouldn't have kept her out all night is all." he said, slightly rueful they had spent so much time at the Wall.

She blinked sleepy eyes at him, "I didn't mind you know. Being with you... and your dad."

He sighed, "Did I ever thank you for that?"

"For what?"

"I don't think I would have gone to seen him without you."

"I'm sure you would have eventually."

"Either way, I'm glad you were here tonight." he said as he kissed her lightly on her lips. She moved to deepen it but he broke it off. "I'm not gonna start something you're not gonna be awake to finish, Mac."

She pouted, until he added, "Besides, I prefer playing with my presents early Christmas morning."

"How early, early?"

"Sooner we go to sleep, sooner we find out." he grinned.

Appeased, she pulled herself tighter against him and rested her head against his chest once more. Her internal clock told her it was 2356 hours. "It's almost midnight. Think we can stay up until then?"

"Sure thing." he kissed her forehead and held her in his arms, caressing her back lightly and gently. He felt her breathing start to even out.

At midnight, Mac's eyelids grew too heavy to keep open. She sighed against his chest, "Merry Christmas, Harm."

"Merry Christmas, Sarah." and she fell asleep.

Harm lay there admiring her beauty. She'd given him more than he deserved tonight. She'd given him more than he even thought possible. She'd given him her love.

He didn't even have a gift planned for her, not with the both of them being busy at law school and about 250 miles apart. And not this Christmas when it had started off so crummy being snowed in and stuck at work, and had ended with her once again saving the day.

She deserved more and Harm realized just what he wanted to give her. He would have to ask Grams for her advice, knowing that his mom would probably jump the gun and ask way too many questions, potentially making him more nervous than he already would be in thinking about this.

It was too late to make it happen for Christmas, and he needed the time to plan this out perfectly anyway. He wanted her to see just how much she meant to him, and what he was willing to give to have her in his life.

Forever.

* * *

**AN: **I hope you all still wanna see more of them together.

NIS only came to be known as NCIS in 1992 - the year after this chapter was set.

**RL AN:** I've been looking for a new place to stay for the last month, but have not had any success. As I need one before this month is up, I'm going to have to redouble my efforts - meaning I probably have to spend a little less time chained to my keyboard and a little more time trying to stave off homelessness.

I don't want to say I'm taking a short break from any of my series because I don't want it to be true - but the possibility does exist. As much as I'd like to continue like normal, it might not be possible to update as often as I usually do. I hope you understand why.


	7. Appalachian Mountains, 1992

**AN: **Thank you everyone for their well wishes in my quest for a house and for the immense feedback! Also thank you anyone who wished me a Happy Birthday.

As for reviews, I don't know what it is about them - but they are extremely addictive and I think I'm hooked. I hope you can continue feeding my habit, so I can continue feeding you more chapters. Thanks.

**T RATING vs M RATING:  
**This is a T rating fic. I originally wrote a scene involving Harm & Mac that upon reading it back, I feel went all the way into M rated territory. I'm not sure (again, not used to writing T rated fiction) but I will err on side of caution and I will post the fic's M rated scene separately as a stand alone story. The version here is tamer. :)

Hope you'll enjoy either one/both.

* * *

**CHAPTER 7: APPALACHIAN MOUNTAINS, 1992**

JULY 1992  
APPALACHIAN MOUNTAINS

Nightfall was beautiful up here in the mountains. The stars twinkled with an unclouded brilliance as if connecting the ground itself to the rest of the universe.

Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie though wasn't looking at the stars outside the window of this secluded, rustic cabin in the woods. She was mesmerized by the sight of the man sleeping under the twisted sheets in front of her. His tall, muscular frame was barely covered by the thin material around his hips, one hand tucked under his pillow and the other splayed out over the spot where she slept until mere minutes ago.

Mac was seated at the foot of the bed, as naked as the man she shared her bed with. She stared at the sleeping face of her best friend, Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr, and admired every inch of him silently.

She always knew that he was handsome, but seeing him asleep now, he was not the man with the playful sparkling eyes and deliciously sexy grin. He looked incredibly at peace. He looked innocently boyish. He looked... increasingly wonderful.

Being awake in the middle of the night to observe him was a rare occurrence for her. She had bouts of insomnia, always had ever since she was a child. With an abusive father, she never really learned how to sleep soundly through the night.

But not with Harm. Whenever she felt Harm's arm wrap around her waist, or his hand stroke her back, she could easily fall asleep, safe in the knowledge that he would protect her. That was the keyword - safe. He made her feel like she was worth something, worth protecting, worth the trouble and worthy of his love. He was everything she had ever dreamed of, and she hoped he felt the same about her.

This was the first time since just after New Years' they were in the same state, much less the same room. Seven long months had passed where they shared very rare and very short phone calls. Seven long months where they were forced to resort to the written word to convey all they felt and wanted for each other. Mac couldn't believe she had become one of those women who waited anxiously on a love letter from her beau and having her good mood depend on him sending one.

Mac blushed recalling some of Harm's letters. Of course like anything else he did well, he needed a little gentle prodding at first, but once he got going, the man was dedicated to being the best there ever was. His love letters really were something else. When he was heartfelt, he was surprisingly romantic, and when he was being steamy...

The man was a master of mash notes. He could make her blush from head to toe with just a few words. She swore even the way he signed his name seemed like an act of sexual union between pen and paper.

She saw him stir as his hand searched for her. Not feeling her body next to his, his eyes popped open instantly and caught sight of her sitting there, naked as a jaybird and looking all the more beautiful for it. His brain cleared his vision immediately to allow him to take in her beauty.

"Hey." he said, not able to formulate much more than that one syllable. Not that he wanted to, he just wanted to admire her in all her naked glory.

"Hey." she replied, unashamedly letting his eyes roam all over her body. She could feel her skin heat up under his admiring gaze. She had to admit she had felt self conscious the first few times Harm had stared at her body this way, but with each reassuring word, each loving gaze, each tender kiss that he trailed down her body, he had made her feel... desirable, invincible, precious. Adored.

He completely adored her and she couldn't help but love him back with equal fervor.

"Whatcha doing all the way over there?" he finally asked, his voice husky from sleep, sending chills to her core. She loved his voice this way.

"Admiring the view." she said with a smile, letting her own eyes drink in his body.

A slow smile formed on his lips, "See anything you like in particular?"

"Oh, yeah." she teased back, "The painting above the bed is quite nice."

Harm frowned deeply and stared up above the headboard. There was an old watercolor painting framed there. It wasn't the finest example of the art form.

"That's nice?" he asked incredulously.

"Mmm-hmm." she hummed as she crawled over to his body. "It's especially beautiful when it hangs above the bed of the sexiest sailor in the world..." she kissed his muscular abs before looking up at him, "...especially when he's naked."

"You're so beautiful, Sarah." and Mac felt herself melt even more.

"Right back at you, flyboy."

She kissed him tenderly this time as he stroked her back. Soon she was curled up against his chest and deep asleep with him. She was safe.

She was home.

oxoxoxo

It was a warm balmy day when Harm went out to the wide clearing where a bright yellow biplane sat, gleaming in the sun. It was a Stearman Model 75 - the one his father had started restoring, the one his grandmother had kept in her storage shed for 25 years until her grandson was old enough to finish what her son had started.

It had been easy to source parts for the plane as it wasn't the rarest of birds, but finding the time to go from school in D.C. down to the Rabb farm in Belleville, PA, where the plane was stored was difficult. Harm had packed his first year with a lot of extra credit courses allowing him to concentrate on fewer courses during his second and third year.

Of course, not having Mac around allowed him to find the time to finish up the biplane. His plans with Mac for Valentine's Day were blown up thanks to the USMC scheduling Mac to re-qualify her marksmanship badges that weekend. That had been the first of a string of missed opportunities and destroyed plans that marred the year so far. It wasn't entirely her fault either, as any plans she had were similarly torpedoed by his own schedule.

They had joked about it, though it wasn't really all that funny at the time.

"It almost feels like there's something or someone purposely keeping us apart, Harm." Mac sighed sadly over the phone.

Harm couldn't shake the gnawing feeling she was more than a little right about that. So instead he found himself changing course from visiting North Carolina to seeing his grandmother, Sarah 'Grams' Rabb and concentrate on completing the plane. But there was also another reason for his trips down to the family farm.

oxoxoxo

"Grams. What do you think of Mac?" Harm asked on one clear March day.

Old Sarah 'Grams' Rabb glanced up from the Sunday paper, pulled down her reading glasses and stared at her tall grandson standing on the porch step. Grams was enjoying the comfort of Lucille - her rocking chair - and came to a gentle stop.

"I love her, Harmon." she said before adding, "But of course, not as much as you do."

She saw her grandson's cagey demeanor and knew something was up. She set aside the paper and stared at him intently.

"Harmon, what is it?"

Harm thrust his hands into his jeans pockets and looked up. "I'm thinking of asking her to..." he took a deep breath, "... to be a Rabb."

"Oh Harmon."

Grams was up in a flash and crossed the short distance between them to hug her grandson wholeheartedly. That he was on the second step while she stood at the top equalized their heights somewhat. After a second Grams realized that her grandson wasn't as enthusiastic in his return embrace. She pulled back.

"What is it, Harm?"

"I've never been married before." Harm stated the obvious.

"Well, neither has she." Grams said but caught the pained expression on her grandson's face. "Harmon?"

"It's not my story to tell, Grams." Harm said, but the older woman had a mind like a steel trap and caught on quick.

"Sarah was married?" Grams questioned without really making it sound like a question.

"A long time ago." Harm said, "Well, six years ago."

"How old was she?"

"Eighteen."

"And she's still married?"

Harm shook his head. "She got a divorce."

"And you don't like the fact that she's a divorcee?"

Harm glared at his grandmother, "Of course that's not it!"

"Harmon. Tone." Grams warned, her usually friendly demeanor hardening in an instant.

Even Harm couldn't stand up to her. "Sorry Grams."

"So what is it Harm? What has you so unhappy about adding that wonderful girl to our family?"

He climbed the porch stairs and leaned against the rail. "She had a lousy husband, Grams. A lousy marriage."

"And?"

"What... what if I'm no better?"

"What did her previous husband do?"

"He was a car thief. He got caught and served time."

"Sounds to me, you're already a better catch, no pun intended."

"That doesn't mean I'm any better, Grams. I mean, I could make the same mistakes."

"Such as stealing cars?" Grams shot her grandson a funny look.

"No." Harm clammed up and it took all of his grandmother's patented Rabb patience to wait him out instead of grabbing him by the tongue and dragging it out of him.

"I'm scared of screwing up, Grams." he finally said with a heavy sigh. "She can't have another failed marriage."

"You're already planning to fail before you even start?"

"Everything I've ever loved has been taken from me." Harm said sadly.

Sarah Rabb shook her head angrily at him but kept her voice as calm as she could, "Then I'm glad you don't love me that much, Harmon."

He looked at her, "Grams..."

"And I'm sure your poor mother is relieved to know you don't love her either."

"Grams." he tried again to explain, "That's not what I mean and you know it."

The old woman sat back down on Lucille, needing to rock away her anger. "I worry about our legal system if that's the quality of your arguments, Harmon."

"Grams, I just want Sarah to be happy." Harm stated with doubt tinging his voice, making it quiver.

His grandmother eyed him critically, "And you think she won't be with you?"

"She deserves so much more than what I can give her."

"But she doesn't want so much more. For some reason, she wants you."

Harm shot his grandmother an unimpressed glare, "That doesn't make me feel any better, Grams."

"It's not supposed to. Dang it Harmon, can I trade you in for Sarah? Because no grandchild of mine should be this dumb."

Harm sighed and Grams relented. "Harmon, all she wants is for you to love her for who she is. Can you do that?"

"Yes."

"Then?"

"I can't lose her Grams." Harm said quietly.

Grams sighed, "Then put a ring on her and don't."

oxoxoxo

Harm pulled himself up into the rear cockpit, reached under the instrument panel and unlocked a hidden compartment. From within he pulled out a small velvet box - big enough to hold a ring and nothing more. Harm knew that wasn't entirely true.

The box also held his future.

He shoved the ring box in his jeans pocket before throwing the tarp he had gotten from the cabin to cover up the biplane.

After securing the tarp, effectively protecting the plane from the elements, Harm made his way back to the cabin. However he took the scenic route and admired the natural beauty almost untouched by human hands. This was God's country. Green trees stretched out as far as the eye could see. In the distance, the mountains almost seemed blue. But the jewel in the crown was undoubtedly the small fresh water lake as clear as the unsullied sky above it.

While it wasn't a private lake, it might as well have been. The cabin and lake were only accessible by air - in fact it was because the owner of the cabin was a pilot himself that this cabin even existed.

Harm entered the cabin built by his father's friend and wingman in Vietnam - Capt. Tom Boone. At the moment the Captain was working at the TOPGUN school in Miramar as a flight instructor in a bid to reconcile with his third wife. Harm had gotten his mom to squeeze the location of this cabin out of the old pilot and Harm was glad that he had thought of it because his mom had come through in spades.

He wanted this to be perfect, Sarah deserved perfect, and this place was it. He touched the box in his pocket and rubbed it for reassurance. He was surprised that the cabin was empty, before he saw the legal pad on the dining table. He read the few lines written down.

_Harm, went for a swim. Join me? - Mac_

Setting down the note, Harm couldn't help but smile at the thought of messing about with her in the water. He quickly made his way down to the lake and found a towel laid out on the ground. On it were Mac's clothes all neatly folded. Harm then scanned the water and found her. She stopped swimming, slicked back her short wet hair and called out to him.

"Care to put on your swimsuit and join me, sailor?"

Harm realized he didn't pack one. "I didn't bring my swimsuit, Mac."

She smiled back sexily, "Well, to tell you the truth, neither did I."

It was then that Harm realized she wasn't wearing anything.

"Marine, you're gonna catch a cold swimming around in the buff." he teased.

"Mmm, you wouldn't know of someone who'll warm me up so I don't freeze do you?"

"I could volunteer my services, if you like."

"Oh, I like." she winked as she started swimming away.

Harm quickly pulled his shirt off and threw it down on the towel next to Mac's stack of clothes. Next to follow were his shoes, socks, jeans and his boxers. As he dove into the water to help keep his Marine warm, all thoughts of the ring box in his jeans pocket were forgotten.

oxoxoxo

The camp fire glowed brightly lighting up the quickly encroaching dark. Harm sat on a sleeping bag he had unfurled on the ground, while Mac settled between his legs. She pulled a large woolen blanket around their shoulders as Harm wrapped his arms around her. They sat there, admiring the tiny sliver of moon that looked almost like a Cheshire Cat's grin.

They shared the silence, content just to soak up as much warmth from each other as they could. Mac squirmed to settle down a little more comfortably between his legs and heard the low moan come from Harm.

"If you move around that much Marine, I don't think I'll be able to behave myself."

"Mmm, it's your fault I'm feeling so sore." she wriggled some more and giggled at his stern expression.

"You didn't have to attack me in the water."

"Attack? You snuck up behind me, squid."

"I didn't hear you complain at the time."

"No." She leaned back against his chest. "And you seemed to be enjoying yourself too, if I recall, flyboy."

That he did as they proved their love to each other quite fervently during the afternoon. Twice.

"You know, I missed that."

"What? Enjoying yourself?"

"You calling me flyboy. I don't think you've called me that since... since before the crash."

She sighed softly, "... I know."

Harm turned her head to face him and brushed his lips lightly over hers. "Thank you."

Mac stared into his eyes, "What for?"

"For not making me realize it until now."

"Did you miss me calling you that?"

"Yes. But not as much as I missed you."

"Talk like that is gonna get you everywhere, flyboy."

She moved to kiss him then pulled back and planted a quick peck on the tip of his nose instead. He was not amused. "Tease."

She playfully stuck her tongue out at him.

Harm sighed, "I missed you all summer."

"Harm, it's still summer." When she saw the annoyed expression on his face, she stopped teasing him, "But I know what you mean."

Mac had spent the first half of summer overseas, sent by the Marine Corps on a cultural exchange.

"How was Russia, Mac?" Harm looked at her genuinely curious.

Mac replied in fluent, if slightly accented Russian.

"In English please?" he chuckled.

Mac stared at him. "I missed you."

"When don't you?" he grinned and she allowed his flyboy ego to have that, because it was true. "What else?" he pressed further.

Mac looked back at the warm glow of the small fire they had built. Soon, her memories took her back to her time in Russia - mainly Moscow.

"It was pretty bad out there Harm. I know they didn't want us to see it, but it's hard to ignore people lining up for blocks on end just to get a roll of toilet paper."

Mac continued explaining what the cultural exchange had really been - it was aid relief, the Russians were still too proud to call it that - especially when the party providing said relief was their old enemies from the West.

The collapse of the old Soviet regime was due to the complete disaster that was its economy. Without communism, the haves found themselves rich beyond all possibility while the have-nots rather impossibly had even less than they had before.

The Navy and Marine Corps had sent some U.S. military reps to observe the downsizing of the Russian Fleet in exchange for modern farm equipment and food - a proverbial turning weapons into plowshares program.

Mac's qualifications as a Political Science major, a law student and the ability to read and speak Russian (which she chose as her MOS) made her a shoo-in to be included in the first trip involving active duty U.S. military allowed in by the Russian government since the start of the Cold War.

Mac regaled Harm with her experiences and he saw the pride reflected in her eyes as she spoke.

"Sounds like you really enjoyed it over there." Harm said.

She looked at him. "You wanna know something weird, Harm?"

"Sure." he smiled, even as his fingers gently worked the ring box out of his jeans pocket.

"It was the first time in my life I felt absolutely... free."

Harm's hand paused. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Mac took a deep breath. "Ever since I was a kid, I always felt like I wasn't going to amount to much. I mean, my dad wasn't really a good role model and my mom... well..."

She looked down and Harm wanted to say something but she spoke again before he could, "When I joined the Marines, it was something I thought, maybe I'll be able to prove that I'm worth a damn." she leaned the top of her head against his jaw, "And you made me feel like I was worth something more."

"You're welcome?" Harm said, and she smiled too.

"But when I was over there, understanding the living conditions, understanding the people, I felt like I was doing something important. Something that mattered. That I mattered. Maybe I could do great things, Harm. Maybe the mistakes of being a drunk or being married were finally behind me."

Harm's face fell.

"Once I graduate, I could help so many people who need us." she looked back excitedly and expectantly.

Underneath the blanket wrapped around them, Harm's right hand held the ring box. He palmed it and nodded enthusiastically, though he didn't feel enthused at all.

"You felt like you were flying." Harm said with a sad smile on his face.

Mac closed her eyes and recalled the feeling. A wide smile curled her lips, "Yeah. Like flying." she opened her eyes to stare into his. "Is that what it feels like for you?"

"Yeah." he said, tucking the velvet box back into his pocket. "It's like finding yourself, like how suddenly you've discovered your hopes, dreams and desires all rolled up into one giant... destiny."

Mac blinked away nascent tears, "I knew you'd understand." she said and planted a light kiss on his lips. He smiled.

He did understand. It was like him and flying. When he flew he never ever wanted to come down. He never ever wanted to worry about fuel loads and bad weather. If he could, he'd keep flying forever.

Harm thought about his future. He knew what he wanted, but he also wondered if it was what he wanted now only because his original desire had been taken from him. He knew he wanted her because she was the best thing in his life now, but was she the best thing he'd ever had?

He looked at Mac. Now that she had found her future, was it fair of him to take it from her just because he wanted to be with her? Would she sacrifice what she could achieve for what little he could offer in return?

She could be great. No, Harm was confident, she would be great.

At what point would 'grounding' her with a marriage proposal make her begin to resent him? When would she hate the fact that he had taken her dreams from her with his selfish desire? When she had their kids? When they were married? When she decided to leave him standing at the altar? When?

Harm knew he couldn't take her dream. He loved her too much to take 'flying' away from her.

"Harm?" she asked noticing his troubled expression. "What's wrong?"

He plastered on a happy face, "Nothing, Marine. Just thinking... how much I love you right now."

She melted under his gaze and his words. Reaching up, she kissed him deeply, taking her time to savor what they shared. "I love you too, flyboy."

Harm lay her down on the sleeping bag and proceeded to show her how much he loved her. They undressed each other, taking their time to explore with their touch and their tongues every bare inch they exposed. There was no need for words so there were none.

oxoxoxo

They spent the rest of the weekend finding ways to please each other - there was nothing they wouldn't try and wouldn't do. They knew soon enough they would return to the real world and be separated by too many miles. She would go back to Duke, and he Georgetown.

Mac however found that as the time of their departure approached, Harm grew less and less vocal even as he grew more and more demanding with his lovemaking. Most times he didn't even say a word as he claimed her body, there was only the need to be satiated as suddenly, quickly and often as possible. Mac couldn't help but color slightly remembering how during a hike, he had suddenly pushed her up against a tree and had his way with her.

Not that she minded. Harm was always careful not to hurt her and he always stopped whenever she told him to. Still, it was as if he was a man transformed, a man obsessed.

Harm recognized what he was doing. His frustration at not being able to claim her heart permanently, at not having a symbol that told the world she was his was starting to eat at him. So he used sex to assert his dominance, to fill the aching need deep within to make the world know she belonged to him.

And he berated himself for that thought. He wanted her, but she didn't belong to him, she wasn't someone he owned, she wasn't a trophy he'd won. She gave her love willingly, and he was blessed she gave it to him. But that still couldn't stop his desire to lay claim to her just the same.

She had greatness in front of her. A greatness he wanted to be a part of. A greatness he would not stand in the way of.

Marriage would only serve to stall her career. He knew the double standards that existed in the military. He knew that she'd be expected to pump out babies the minute they got hitched. He knew that promotions and opportunities would pass her by just because her COs would fear her showing up suddenly with more than just a little Marine 'can do' spirit growing within her.

He knew that his ring would only weigh her down now.

One day he'd make her his wife. But today wasn't that day.

oxoxoxo

Mac trailed her hand across the smooth metal skin of the yellow Stearman biplane. The metal was warm to her touch and while she knew it was merely the heat of the sun lightly toasting the surface, she wanted to believe it was as imbued with life as the two people who were going to fly in it were.

It was after all Harm's plane, one he shared with his father, one he had rebuilt by hand, completing the work that the elder Harmon Rabb had started. This united two generations... three, if you included the fact that Harm's grandfather had flown this type of plane during the second World War.

Mac wished she had that kind of legacy. That kind of family.

Harm circled the plane, eyeballing and checking everything during his preflight when he saw Mac touching the plane reverently. He stood aside to admire the sight. She noticed his gaze and turned to him.

"It's beautiful, Harm."

"She should be."

"She?" she asked, questioning his surprising sexism.

"Don't get like that, Mac. Men have been naming their planes after women for generations."

Mac trailed her hand over the paint work, marveling at the details Harm put in. "So what's _her_ name?"

"Sarah."

Mac's eyebrows rose in surprise. Then realization set in, "After Grams."

Harm held her gaze as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, "Her too."

Mac blushed under his attention and changed the subject. "Harm, do you... do you know that next month..."

Harm smiled brightly. "Fourteenth wasn't it?"

Mac was surprised by the fact he knew. "Yeah."

"Have any plans, Marine?"

"No."

"Would you like some?"

"Yeah."

"Any ideas what?"

"No."

Harm couldn't help but chuckle. "Wanna come fly with me?"

"Always."

He stared down at her with those brilliant blue eyes that always took her breath away. "Then it's a date."

She nodded as she pulled him down for a kiss. But she stopped about an inch from his lips. "Harm?"

"Yes?"

"Just because you're coming doesn't mean I don't want a present."

"You mean I'm not enough of a gift?" he asked with his cocky flyboy grin.

Mac frowned and pushed him away in disgust. "Talk like that and maybe I won't even want you to come."

He helped her up into the cockpit but as he leaned over close, he whispered in her ear.

"Oh, I might not come, but you definitely will." he said suggestively. "Over and over and over..."

Mac could only stare at him as she felt her face get warm at the thought.

Harm climbed into the cockpit behind Mac's and pulled out the velvet ring box from his pocket. He ran a thumb over the surface before tucking it into the hidden compartment once more.

One day. Someday.

* * *

**AN:** Took me a while to figure out how to write this chapter. I hope I didn't waste your time waiting for this. :)


	8. Bosnia, 1995

**AN: **Thank you so much for all your reviews... and to everyone who reads and doesn't review, well, I hope you enjoyed it too. At the very least, I hope I didn't drive you to give up fan fiction forever. :-o That would be bad.

I thank you all for your patience with my lack of recent updates. I have to admit, this is the first spell in which I've actually struggled to write since I joined the site. It's frustrating for me, because I want to write and post updates to my stories faster, but my brain isn't cooperating right now.

I worked really hard on this chapter and it was a hard chapter to write, so please take a few minutes, if you can, to let me know what you think. Thank you.

* * *

**CHAPTER 8: BOSNIA, 1995**

AUGUST 1995  
OPERATION DELIBERATE FORCE NATO CAMP  
BOSNIA & HERZEGOVINA

Rain fell hard upon the crude concrete and steel structures. Once upon a time this was an athletic center of excellence in the former Yugoslavia - track and field, gymnasiums, swimming pools - this could have been the home of future Olympians.

But today it was the home of NATO ground forces in Bosnia. And one of the many rooms in the center was home to Marine Captain Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie and her roommate and fellow Marine, First Lieutenant Lisa Lowell who was busy puking her guts out in the bathroom.

"Oh god, ma'am. Kill me. Just kill me."

Lisa was slumped against the toilet, looking like death itself. Not that Mac could blame her, there was a nasty stomach flu going around the camp and even Mac's cast iron stomach was doing weird belly flops at the moment. Mac quelled her queasiness, though that wasn't easy, not with the smell of Lisa's lunch coming up again permeating the room.

Mac pressed a damp cloth against the young lieutenant's fevered brow. Lisa looked up at her with gratitude and took the damp rag. "Thank you ma'am. How you holding up?"

"Much better than you at the moment. Though not for long if I don't get out of here quick." Mac replied. "What did the Corpsman say?"

"He told me at least it wasn't coming out of both ends..." before Lisa lost her lunch again at the thought. Mac quickly fled the room before she lost hers as well.

Finding some fresh air, Mac took a deep breath and felt her stomach settle. The stomach flu that had landed half the base in sickbay was a virulent combination of illness and contaminated food or water.

Mac had been spared the horrors as she hadn't had much of an appetite of late. She knew she was homesick, but this was just being ridiculous. She was a Marine. She was tough.

She missed home dearly.

Unfortunately the stomach bug also meant the Marines were seriously short-staffed and any serviceman capable of holding his or her insides on the inside, was asked to perform double duty.

Which sucked because Mac realized she had missed her birthday this year as a result. It was the one day off she had been looking forward to since she got stationed here forty days ago.

Forty days. Has it been that long? Almost six weeks since she arrived. Almost six weeks since she left home... and him.

Just when she couldn't feel lonelier, she thought of him, the man she wanted to spend her birthday with. The man she wanted to spend everyday with if possible.

Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr.

She couldn't help but smile when she thought of the first birthday they actually got to spend together three years prior. How he had showed up at her doorstep...

oxoxoxo

Mac saw him standing in her doorway in his leather flight jacket. It might have been the same one she saw him in all those years ago in Red Rock, Arizona, the night they first met, the night they first kissed.

The night she knew had changed her life forever.

And he looked sexier now than he did back then, his hair now was a tad longer, and the way those thick locks framed his chiseled features made her weak in the knees.

Of course, knowing that he was all hers also made her weak all over.

"Hey." he greeted her with a sexy smile.

"Hey." she greeted back. It was all they needed to say to each other - no need for terms of endearment, though they had plenty. That single syllable revealed a wealth of emotion.

"Aren't you gonna let me in?" he asked not taking his eyes off hers.

"In a minute." she breathed back.

They were standing in the little apartment she had moved into off campus here in Durham, North Carolina. She was in her second year at Duke and she shared this space with two other 2nd year schoolmates. It was a little bit pricier than she would have liked to pay for just a roof over her head, but at least she got her own room and significantly more privacy.

And carte blanche to kiss him senseless. Which she did now.

It wasn't hurried or frantic. She took her time to taste his lips, and she would have taken even more time if her housemate Kara hadn't walked in.

"Who's at the door?" Kara asked when she noticed Mac still standing in front of it.

Kara saw Mac quickly pull away from kissing the guy at the door. When Kara saw the handsome figure though, she couldn't fault her fellow boarder.

"Oh wow. Are they delivering hunks to our doorstep now? Because I wouldn't mind me some of that." Kara ribbed the Marine who was starting to blush... though maybe not entirely from embarrassment.

Mac recovered, "Kara, this is Harm. Harm, my housemate Kara."

The guy smiled wide at Kara, a funny sight since he also had Mac's lipstick all over his well and truly kissed lips. "Hi."

"Mmm..." Kara hummed in appreciation as she had to admit, the man was stunning, especially up close in real life. She'd seen him before in Mac's pictures and as photogenic as he was, they really didn't do him any justice. "So you're Mr. Hunky."

"I am?" Harm looked at Mac who was turning bright red, now entirely from embarrassment.

"That's what we call you. Of course Sarah here calls you..."

"Oh hey, is that the time, come on Harm..."

Kara ignored Mac's poor attempt at getting rid of her. "You're here for Sarah's birthday?"

A slow grin formed on his face as he looked Mac in the eye. "I promised her last month I'd be here." He held up a gift wrapped box, "I even got you a present."

"Oh, I'm sure she got her present the minute she answered the door."

"Kara." Mac said in all seriousness, in a tone that even Kara knew not to push. It wasn't a threat, but well, living with someone who knew her way around guns was intimidating enough. Kara quickly relented and allowed Mac to drag her present back to her room.

Once inside her bedroom, Harm looked at her with amusement dancing in his eyes. "So, what do you call me?"

"Huh?" Mac asked.

"Kara said you called me something other than Mr. Hunky." his flyboy grin was positively beaming, his ego almost beyond bearable at this point. "What is it?" he asked as he leaned in close.

"Oh, and what if I don't tell you?"

"Then you don't get my present." he said, his breath warm against her ear.

She turned around and pushed him back gently. "Then... that's too bad..." she said as she undid the buttons of her blouse, slowly.

Harm stared at her as the fabric separated to reveal her beautiful skin and her cream colored bra. His tight jeans started to get a little tighter. When she moved to undoing her pants, his jeans got a whole lot tighter.

Now clad only in her underwear, she pushed him back towards her bed. Her fingers trailed down his jacket until they reached his belt, and continued further, down the front of his very tight jeans. Her touch was light but it was already making him lose his breath and his ability for speech. He fell into her bed, and she climbed on top of him.

"Don't you think it's too bad I won't get my present Harmon?" she asked as her fingers slowly dragged the zipper of his jacket down, revealing his t-shirt underneath. Her fingers then worked their way underneath the cotton T and stroked his abs.

"Mac." Harm breathed out her name, and groaned when he felt her push herself against his jeans. She moved back and forth, creating friction between them. Friction between her center and the part straining to jump out of his pants.

His hands reached out for her but she evaded his grasp. She gyrated once more eliciting a low sustained moan before she stood up and leaned against her desk a few feet away.

"Strip." she ordered and Harm eagerly obeyed. His jacket and T-shirt were off in a second, but he was stilled when she then ordered, "Slowly."

"What?" he asked, a little confused.

"It's my birthday and I want you to strip slowly. Think you can handle that, sailor?" she asked.

Harm blushed at her request. "Uh... I..."

"Would you like for me to show you how?" Mac asked.

"Yeah." he nodded slowly, his mind already going into overdrive imagining how Mac would show him. She surprised him by stepping to him and placing her hands on his hips.

"First let's work on your performance a little... get a rhythm going. Like dancing." she moved his hips until they were moving to a rhythm in her head. Her eyes admired how his body moved, especially the hard shape underneath his jeans.

"Next is the belt, think you can manage that all by yourself, flyboy?"

His fingers fumbled a little over his belt buckle, clumsy with arousal, especially with his hips swaying from side to side. But he obliged her willingly since her fingers were trailing up his abs to caress his pecs and arms. He reached out for her once more, but she intercepted his hands and tutted her disapproval.

"Not until you're as out of your clothes as I am." she said before planting featherlight kisses across his chest. He moaned as she teased him to the point of near bliss.

She moved his hands back to his jeans, making him work the zipper. She stepped back and admired the view as he worked the jeans off his hips revealing Marine green jockey shorts. She cocked an eyebrow at him.

"I thought you might like that." he explained with a heart stopping grin.

"Oh, so confident I'd have you out of your pants were you?" she lobbed back playfully.

"Was I wrong?"

"No." she admitted as she reached out and touched him.

He bucked against her hand, his breathing growing more ragged by the second. "Mac..." he moaned and she increased her movement. He reached for her and this time she didn't stop him. He claimed her lips in a searing kiss that left her equally breathless.

He kicked off his jeans and lifted her onto her desk as his lips travelled from her mouth to her jaw to her neck, to her chest, showering each destination with kisses.

His fingers were working on the bra clasp when there was a knock at the door.

"Mac? Uh... you have a visitor." Kara said through the door.

Mac couldn't keep the breathlessness from her voice, "Who... who is it?"

Two seconds after she heard his voice, she and Harm were busy pulling on their clothes.

"Sarah. It's me."

"Uncle Matt!"

oxoxoxo

"Ma'am?"

The voice of the young Private cut through her daydream and she quickly turned around. She hoped her Marine facade hid all trace of where her thoughts had been just seconds earlier.

"What is it, Private?" she asked the young man who looked barely old enough to graduate high school much less come out of boot camp.

"Colonel Walls wants to see you in the ready room, ma'am."

Mac nodded her understanding. "Lead on, Private."

Seventy two seconds later, she was standing in front of her unit commander. Colonel Gonzo Walls of the two-nine wasn't a very tall man, but he had an impressive command presence about him just the same. The man exuded leadership quality, and everybody in the room knew just how brilliant the man really was - particularly as a military strategist.

Col. Walls looked at his unit's latest addition. "MacKenzie, at ease. I trust you're still fully functioning?"

It was his way of politely asking if she wasn't painting the walls with barf like most of his already decimated unit. In fact that was probably why he summoned her, he normally wouldn't have sent for her otherwise, but he didn't have the luxury of time or manpower at the moment to be choosy.

"Yes sir." Mac responded crisply.

"Good. I heard you're a bit of an expert with languages." he said.

Mac clarified. "Not really sir, but I do speak Russian and Farsi fluently. And some Japanese, sir."

"No Bosnian?"

"No sir."

"Then I guess I'll have to send someone with you who does."

Mac looked at her commanding officer, "Send, sir?"

"Hmm? Oh, right. I need someone to talk with the refugees currently holing up in this school here." Col. Walls showed her on the large map of the area spread open on his table. He pointed out the aerial surveillance photograph of the school.

He continued, "Serb forces are moving in on the area, and we've determined from their chatter that they know about the school's importance. They want to move their tanks and rockets into the area, knowing we can't risk bombing them if it could hit the school and the refugees inside."

"So we're evacuating them?"

"Relocating. We have transports ready but we need someone to convince them we're taking them somewhere safer. That's where you come in, Captain."

"How much time do I have, sir?"

"Unfortunately, not that much. Intel tells us we have between three to five hours before the first tanks arrive. I'm trying to convince the Navy boys to drop some bombs and delay the tanks. But their CAG states that their visibility is basically nil up there with all this rain water, so they'd be flying and fighting blind."

"So I have three hours, sir?"

"Yes. Think you can handle it Marine?"

"Yes, sir." she replied with Marine vigor, drawing a smile from him.

"Well, Godspeed, Captain. And good luck." Walls dismissed her. Mac spun on her heel and exited.

oxoxoxo

The distance to the school from camp was only eight miles, but with few intact roads and a multitude of landmines dotting the countryside, the drive was treacherous and arduously slow. Thirty minutes and they were still a mile from their destination.

Mac held on to her seat as they bounced across the rough terrain. Maybe it was the car ride, maybe it was the bug going round, but Mac felt a little green around the gills and only thoughts of home helped her not get sick all over the seats.

She stared out into the bleak countryside made grayer by the torrential rain and let her memories transport her to happier days. Sunnier ones too as recent as a couple of months back.

oxoxoxo

It was graduation day and Mac posed for pictures with her Uncle Matt under a clear blue sky.

Mac smiled at the Marine Colonel who had attended, dressed sharply in a gray suit. He had eschewed the Marine uniform - didn't want to overshadow his niece's day even though she had chosen to wear her uniform underneath her robe.

"I wouldn't be able to hug you while in uniform." he explained as he could barely contain his happiness for her. "I'm proud of you Sarah."

"Thanks Uncle Matt."

"And magna cum laude to boot."

Mac smiled widely but her uncle also saw that it didn't completely reach her eyes.

"Still thinking of that boyfriend of yours? Harem?"

Mac blushed, revealing that she was, but she answered steadily, "His name is Harm, Uncle Matt."

Matt shook his head at his niece, but he was determined not to spoil her day. That didn't mean Mac couldn't ask questions of her own about the subject.

"Why do you hate him so much, Uncle Matt?"

"I don't hate him."

"Okay, why don't you like him then? Aside from him being Navy."

"I don't know him well enough to like or dislike him, Sarah. I'm not the one who's kept him hidden for so long."

"Well, it's been three years since you met. Surely you have an opinion, Uncle Matt."

"Please don't remind me of the day we met." Matt said.

Mac grinned though had enough sense to hide it from her uncle. It had been an awkward meeting to say the least as Harm tried everything to please her uncle since, and not being able to do so for one plain and simple reason.

oxoxoxo

"Because I'm Navy?" Harm had asked as they hid in the kitchen area of her tiny shared apartment.

"Because you're sleeping with me." Mac replied.

"He doesn't know that." Harm colored then shot wide eyes at her, "Does he?"

"I think my uncle knows what happens between a man and a woman behind closed doors."

"Oh my god, your uncle's gonna kill me isn't he?"

"Come on flyboy, time to face the music." she pushed him out of the kitchen so that the two most important men in her life could finally be formally introduced.

oxoxoxo

Harm couldn't make it to her graduation simply because of his own commencement ceremony. It really did feel as if unseen forces were purposely keeping them apart sometimes, but then again, fate did put them together so maybe there was something brighter in store for them in the future.

Uncle Matt cut through her thoughts once more, "Sarah, I just want to know, how serious are you about this boy?"

Mac knew the answer to that. But at the same time the answer scared her. Harm would always have a place in her heart, no matter what happened, and always was a mighty long time.

"I'm happy, isn't that all that's important?"

Matt smiled ruefully. "Yes. I guess it is." he sighed, "Well, then I don't suppose I have a reason to hate him, do I Sarah?"

Mac looked at her uncle questioningly, and he explained. "Anyone who can put that bright smile on your face can't be all that bad."

Mac's smile got even brighter.

oxoxoxo

Mac's reverie was cut short by their arrival at the school. The building was the only thing for miles still standing relatively unscathed. Aside from dark lines of fungus caused by rain and some caked mud all around, the school was actually in better shape than even NATO base camp.

The Marine trucks pulled up to the main entrance and Mac descended together with their assigned local translator - a small Croatian man who had been caught in the crossfire because he was also half Bosnian.

Mac found the refugees gathered in the school gymnasium. What once was a basketball court was now home to fifty families, some spanning four generations. While the living conditions weren't exactly squalor, it couldn't be considered living either.

Mac made her way to the self-appointed leaders of the group and spent the next hour trying to convince them of the need to relocate. But the elders were either being unintentionally stupid or being deliberately stubborn and refused to budge without some form of promise of recompense.

If they were after money, Mac might have been tempted to pay out of her own pocket, but what the refugees sought was political asylum, and the next boat out of here to the glittering life of United States citizenship.

Mac was tempted to tell them right now, from where she stood, being American was not all it was cracked up to be.

Still she tried, and eventually got enough of the womenfolk, who outnumbered the men, to agree safety now was more important than what their passports said in the future.

The stagnant and fetid air of the poorly ventilated gym made Mac a little lightheaded, but she toughed it out. One of the older women seeing this, started lecturing Mac in rapid fire Serbian while offering her some clean water and her seat. Mac accepted the water but turned down the chair. They only had another 87 minutes to get the refugees in the truck and down the road if intelligence was to be trusted. Mac decided she'll sit down once everyone was out of here safe.

Slowly the refugees made their way to the truck. The adults carried everything they owned on their back, leaving their children to cling on to the adults or risk being separated. It was ironic to Mac, why did people put so much stock in what they had, while not recognizing that who they had in their lives was so much more of a gift.

Mac's thoughts of home returned and this time she couldn't help but think of the last night she spent there.

oxoxoxo

It was 11:38 P.M. local time when she knocked on the door. It was another 17 seconds before the door opened.

And another 3 seconds before he got over his surprise at seeing her at his doorstep.

"Hello sailor."

"Mac." he said, genuinely stunned at seeing her at his door.

He was dressed in a Go Navy t-shirt and shorts. His hair was mussed from sleep. He looked sexy enough to eat.

Harm barely recovered from his surprise at seeing her there when she reached up and kissed the living daylights out of him.

When she was done she walked in past him into the small apartment he had managed to find in the neighborhood. Fortunately rent was cheap enough that he didn't need roommates. Unfortunately, the place was so small that the minute she walked in the front door, she was already at the back of the apartment.

"What... Mac, you're here." Harm stammered, his sleepy brain still trying to decipher if this was really happening or just one ultra realistic dream. Or maybe he'd finally gone crazy with wanting her so bad that this was a delusion wrapped in a hallucination wrapped in a fantasy.

"I am flyboy, and I'll be here for the next 6 hours and 21 minutes." she said as she started shrugging off her coat. "Are you going to leave that open?" she asked, concerning his door.

Harm quickly shut it and flicked the lock before stepping closer to her. He gulped, his mouth suddenly dry as he watched her make herself comfortable in his apartment.

"Do you mind if I took a shower?" she asked as she rooted through her toiletries bag for her stuff - shampoo, soap, toothbrush.

He shook his head and continued watching as she peeled off her clothes, folding it carefully as she lay each article aside. She noticed him staring at her near naked body and cocked an eyebrow at his mesmerized gaze. Harm caught her expression, unfreezing him.

"What are you doing here Mac? I thought you were shipping out to Bosnia." he asked, confused but not complaining.

"I am."

"Then?"

"I'm flying out of Dulles in the morning and I figured, you know, I deserved a little reward."

Harm's mouth twisted slowly into a wide cocky grin. His eyes sparkled mischievously as he waggled his eyebrows at her. "A reward for what Marine?"

"Oh, for graduating near the top of my class... and you for doing the same." she said as she pulled off her underwear and stepped into his shower.

She showered quickly, the water was tepid at best but it was a balmy summer night outside so it wasn't too bad. She poked her head out of the shower to see Harm lying on his large futon, already having prepared her pillows and made space for her on one side of the bed. She admired how cute he looked propped up in bed, trying to read even as he kept staring at her naked form.

"Do you mind if I used your towel?" she asked and he shook his head. He then quickly buried his gaze in the book, respecting her privacy as she dried off.

"You can use my robe too, if you want." he said, not looking up from his book. He only looked up when he felt her slip into bed and adjust her pillows. She had put on the Navy T-shirt he had on earlier.

"I like this much better." she said with a smile, before looking down at the letters stretched across her chest. "Okay, maybe not the words..."

He laughed and Mac loved how it came out as a low sexy rumble. He put aside his book and settled down further into bed, letting her scoot closer and prop herself on his chest. They stared at each other before Mac leaned in and planted a slow, sensual kiss on his lips.

After what seemed like the space of a few heartbeat but was actually really hundreds of them, she pulled away. "God I missed you." she admitted.

"Anything in particular you miss most?" he asked suggestively, and Mac rolled her eyes.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Harm. I'm being serious here."

His hand brushed the hair that fell over her eyes away, and tucked the stray strands behind her ear. His hand though didn't leave, instead tracing the shape of her ear, down to her jaw and back to her chin.

"You're so beautiful, Sarah."

"Right back at you, flyboy."

"I missed you too."

Her mouth twitched into a smile. "Nice to know."

"You must be tired. Do you want to sleep?"

"Yes. But first I'd like for you to make love to me."

Harm gulped. He was sure Mac had said many more intimate things in the past, but he wasn't sure if she had ever said anything sexier. His body was instantly aroused, eager to prove how much he missed her.

"Yes, ma'am." he said as he rolled her over and claimed her lips.

oxoxoxo

Mac heard the low rumbling and for a second thought it was her stomach protesting once more, but she realized that the accompanying wave of nausea she normally felt didn't come. The rumbling came from a distance and when she felt the ground tremble a little, Mac realized what it was.

It was confirmed by one of the gunnery sergeants. "Serbian tanks are closing in, ma'am. We have ten minutes to get out of here. Fifteen tops."

"Damn it." Mac cussed softly as she took stock of the situation. There were still too many families and they were taking their own sweet time getting their stuff together. Mac weighed the pros and cons of rushing them and knew that the con of causing a potential panic and stampede outweighed any pro she could think of.

She found a secluded corner and got on the radio to Colonel Walls.

"Captain, you're running out of time."

"We know sir, but I can't get them on the trucks safely without some doing. Can we buy them more time?"

"The Seahawk has some jets in the air, but they're Tomcats - not A10s, so they aren't armed for this sort of thing. I'll talk to the CAG and see if they can run interference."

"Thank you sir." she sighed sincerely.

"Captain MacKenzie." Walls' tone was deadly serious. "If we can't get everyone out, get the children and hightail it out of there."

"But sir..." she started to protest.

"As much as it pains me to leave any civilian behind, they stand a better chance of not being gunned down on sight than we do. I won't make it an order, so you better come back alive."

"Yes sir." Mac replied and signed off.

Eight of the ten trucks were loaded up and sent away but ten families remained when the shooting began. Anti-aircraft guns painted the sky with flak as Tomcats zoomed by, trying to slow the Serbian tanks. Panicked screams filled the air as Mac tried to keep the refugees calm enough to get into the trucks, but to no avail. It took all her skill to just keep them in the room and not run off seeking cover.

Minutes ticked by, where the only sound that filled the air was the constant boom of heavy artillery. But as frightening as the thunder was, the moments of pin drop silence in between were far more terrifying. In the quiet, all fears were possible.

Mac calmed her nerves so she would stay alert, so she wouldn't become stupid with panic. She forced herself to think of happier thoughts. Of happier times. Of Harm.

oxoxoxo

Mac stirred and took in her surroundings. She was in Harm's apartment, in Harm's bed, in Harm's arms - and all was right in the world. She smiled until her internal clock kicked in.

2:55 A.M.

She had to leave soon if she was going to make it to the airport in time for her transport to Bosnia.

Harm felt her stiffen in his embrace and he woke. He stared at her back and planted a kiss on her bare shoulder. "Hey, what's got you thinking so loudly there?"

She turned around and kissed him with searing intensity. She didn't say anything as she didn't let up, her hands roaming every inch of his naked body, coaxing it to action.

"Mac... protection." he stammered out in between ragged breaths. She nodded her understanding and reached into the drawer she had seen him keep his supplies. Harm was too busy enjoying the feel of her naked body on his that he almost forgot what he had hidden in that drawer.

"Wait, Mac..." he tried to stop her but it was too late. Mac felt the velvet texture of the ring box and pulled it out. She looked at the box and at him.

"What's this?" Mac asked, confused.

"It's yours."

"Mine?"

"At least I hope it will be." he moved his hands to take the box from her and was about to open it when she stopped him.

"When... when did you get that?"

"Is it important?"

"Harm..."

"Remember that summer you went to Russia?"

Mac did and her eyes became wide as saucers. "Three years?"

He nodded.

"Why didn't you... then?" she questioned.

"Because I didn't want you to give up your life for me. I love you too much for that."

"I wouldn't have given up anything..."

"Is that true? You were at Duke, I was in Georgetown. If we got engaged, even married, how long before we'd decide the education wasn't worth the separation?"

He was right. She would have given it up for him. "I hate that you've thought of all the logical arguments." she said without malice, but there was still a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"I've had years of agonizing to think. But it doesn't change the fact that this ring is for you." he smiled, "And we're not separated by school now."

He tried to open the box once more, but again she stopped him. He looked at her confused.

"No." she said.

"No?" Harm panicked.

"No, not that. I mean... not now."

His eyes betrayed his confusion and hurt. Mac took a deep breath and tried to explain.

"I'm leaving in four hours, Harm. If... if you ask now, you know I won't be able to make myself leave. You're right, I would have quit the Marines if you asked me to marry you."

Harm nodded his understanding. "That's why I didn't ask before. Too many people in the world need you right now, Mac."

"Including you?" she asked playfully, trying to lighten the mood.

"Including me." he nodded and Mac rewarded his honesty with another kiss.

Harm savored it but much too soon the kiss ended. Harm looked her in the eye. "I won't ask now, but I want you to know..."

He put the velvet ring box aside before continuing, "...that it doesn't matter if you're right here or a million miles away. You take my heart with you. And one day, when we're in the right time and place and I ask, I hope you'll still say yes."

Tears welled up in her eyes, "I will." she promised.

"So until we're in the right time and place, Sarah MacKenzie, I love you."

"And I love you." she whispered before crushing her lips against his.

oxoxoxo

Mac wiped the tears from her eyes before she realized the thunderous gunfire had stopped. As the quiet rolled on, the Marines quickly got on the radio. After a minute they confirmed the news.

"The tanks are retreating, Captain." one of the Gunnies reported. Recovering quickly, Mac resumed ferrying the refugees onto the truck.

Mac got most of the Marines to move with the ninth truck back to the NATO base. There was no need to risk them all, and having Marines outnumber the refugees at this point was impractical.

They were loading up the last truck when some of the refugees rushed up, crying in anguished Bosnian. Mac turned to the translator.

"The children... they can't find them."

"Where did they last see them?" Mac asked and the translator repeated. They responded and the translator answered, "They left the gym together, they're sure."

Mac looked back at the school and pulled some of the Marines aside. She got descriptions and names of the children and issued the orders to fan out and search.

Mac turned to the translator, "Try and keep the parents calm and on the truck. We don't need them to rush back in to the school."

The translator nodded in understanding. "Yes, Captain."

Mac and a gunnery sergeant searched every square inch of every empty classroom. Mac had the bad feeling that they were running out of time even though the tanks had retreated. Still she looked methodically, leaving no space unchecked.

She heard the soft sobbing and backtracked. It came from one of the equipment lockers.

Mac called out the names, three of them - twin girls and their baby brother. The boy wailed, but was rapidly silenced - no doubt by the girls. Mac let her ears guide her and soon she found them hiding between the gymnastic equipment.

Pulling out a candy bar from her pocket, Mac broke off a piece and ate it, proving that it was edible to the children. Her stomach must have agreed with it because it stopped clenching for a second and settled down.

She then offered a piece to the girl who seemed to be in charge. She reached out and took it and soon all three children had devoured the candy.

Mac spoke in calm tones, and managed to convince the three out of the locker and to follow her.

As they exited the lockers, the gunny with Mac spooked them a little when he came running up to Mac. Mac held them closer to her, providing comfort with her touch, calming them.

The gunny reported, "Ma'am. They launched a rocket. It's incoming."

Quickly Mac scooped up the boy and got the girls to run with them. They were at the door when Mac heard the telltale whine of an approaching missile.

Mac shoved the children into the truck and slapped the side of the the truck, telling it to take off. Mac then tried to jump into the jeep when the missile finally hit the school.

The blast wave threw Mac and several of the Marines twenty feet back. Mac landed heavily and through bleary eyes saw all that remained of the school - nothing but twisted metal and rubble.

Darkness crept into the edges of her vision and soon her consciousness faded.

oxoxoxo

Mac moved sensuously on top of Harm, drawing pleasure from his body and she felt him shudder in ecstasy. She felt the warmth of his passion fill her as he groaned out her name. He flopped back on the twisted sheets and she flopped down on top of him.

She had lost count of the number of times they had made love tonight, all she knew was she needed to burn as much of this into her memory as possible. Because it would be months before she could see him again. Maybe longer.

She felt his hands caress her back lightly and she let her hand caress his chest. She felt his heartbeat start to slow to normalcy. She looked up into his eyes.

"Promise me you'll be safe." he said with a voice husky from lack of sleep.

"I will."

"I love you." his eyes began to close, seeking sleep.

Her eyelids were similarly too heavy to keep open, "Right back at you, flyboy." she sighed and sleep came immediately.

oxoxoxo

Mac opened her eyes and found herself blinded by the bright overhead lamps. She blinked furiously as she raised her hand to shield her face from the bright illumination.

"Captain MacKenzie, you're up."

Mac sought out the voice and found herself looking at a doctor. She was slightly more mature than the usual hospital corpsmen that treated them, and from the calm manner she inspected Mac, obviously more experienced than the other corpsmen too.

The doctor checked her carefully.

"Where?" Mac finally asked, her mouth more than a little dry.

"You're back at camp. You... you were caught in the blast wave of the explosion."

Mac remembered. The school was destroyed.

"Is... is everyone okay?"

"The refugees are fine. As are the other Marines."

"Good." It took a second before Mac realized the word 'other'. "What do you mean, other Marines."

The doctor sat down beside Mac's cot and took her hand. Mac was surprised by the gesture but didn't pull away. She stared into the doctor's kind eyes.

"You're fine, aside from some heavy bruising on your sides. Now that you're up, we can keep an eye on your concussion." she said in a soothing tone, but hesitated. "You're fine," she repeated, "but I'm sorry about your baby."

Baby? What baby?

The doctor recognized the look of confusion on Mac's face. "You didn't know."

"Baby?"

The doctor nodded. "You were at 6 weeks."

6 weeks - the last night she spent with Harm. It made sense now, her queasiness, her nausea, her lack of appetite. 6 weeks.

Tears welled up in Mac's eyes and spilled forth as her resolve finally broke.

Her baby. Their baby.

Gone.

And Mac wept.

* * *

**AN:** I'm almost scared to ask for your feedback at this point.

The irony is I asked another writer to not do what I just did. Talk about hypocritical. Sorry jpstar57. Sorry everyone.

Things do get better, I promise, starting with the next chapter. That is if you still want to read this story.

(Many typos fixed.)


	9. Naples, 1995

**AN: **Hey everyone, thanks for the feedback for the previous chapter. Sorry if I gave it away too much - yeah, I should have hid what happened better. I'll keep that in mind for next time :)

Despite the quick turnaround recently, I'm not really settled yet, and I can't say for sure when I'll be. But I hope that whatever comes out is worth the wait. :D

Now we're entering familiar ground in the JAG Timeline. This is set immediately after the pilot episodes 'A New Life'. And if you haven't guessed by now, yes this is seriously, totally AU.

Enjoy.

* * *

**CHAPTER 9: NAPLES, 1995**

SEPTEMBER 1995  
NAPLES, ITALY

A Navy transport helicopter touched down on the helipad as a young blonde Ensign watched on. She was pretty, enough men told her so, and who was she to correct them.

She marched over to the helo confidently and waited for the doors to slide open. Out stepped a portly young Ensign - Bud Roberts - the dossier sent over from Fleet Command had identified. He was the press officer on board the USS Seahawk - the aircraft carrier currently patrolling somewhere in the Mediterranean.

Next out was a slender, leggy brunette. A Lt. (j.g) Caitlin Pike, according to her file. She was a JAG officer, but not the one the Ensign was looking for.

Last out, was the guest of honor and the hero of the hour - Lieutenant Harmon Rabb Jr. He climbed out of the helo, his wind tousled hair making him look devastatingly roguish and handsome. Even the blonde Ensign wasn't immune to the visual. The gold wings that gleamed above his ribbon bar only added to his appeal.

The Ensign ignored the other passengers and went straight to him to introduce herself, "Lieutenant Rabb? Welcome to Naples, sir." she smiled winningly, letting him know with her gaze that if he should ever feel the need to tell her she was pretty, she would not have a problem showing just how pretty she could be for him.

"Thank you Ensign..." he replied and she quickly provided him her name.

"Singer, sir. Loren Singer." she smiled. "How was your flight?"

"It's no Tomcat." he grinned at the young Ensign and Singer returned the grin eagerly.

Caitlin 'Kate' Pike stared at her partner and rolled her eyes. The man was so oblivious to his effect on the female population at large. She cleared her throat, "Ensign, I believe we shouldn't keep the base commander waiting."

Singer turned to her, her smile quickly replaced by an unmistakable if slight frown, "Yes ma'am. Follow me if you will." she said as she led them towards the main building.

Harm caught the look his new JAG partner gave him and he tried not to let her ribbing get to him. He grinned, "Don't you start." he said good-naturedly.

"What? Can't a girl just make note of how many women swoon over you daily, Lieutenant?"

"Well, I'm not in the Navy to make women swoon."

"Hmm... then you really shouldn't have put on the dress whites. I don't think there's a woman on Earth who can resist you in those."

Harm couldn't help but laugh at the idea. "Present company excepted, of course."

"We'll see." she smiled back demurely.

They were led to a large hall and Harm was surprised by the size of the event. He had been notified by Admiral Brovo, the Judge Advocate General himself, that after his heroics of landing the plane of injured Captain Tom Boone on a carrier, from the rear aviator's seat no less, he'd been asked to do some press, take a few pictures for the Navy Times and all the usual recruitment friendly stuff. And when the JAG asked for something, Harm knew enough to know that it wasn't really a request.

However this wasn't what he expected. What Harm stood in front of now was way too large to be just a simple press conference and pictures. Flashbulbs went off as he entered the hall, and Harm found himself shaking hands with a lot of Navy big wigs he wasn't entirely sure he knew.

"Lieutenant Rabb, nice to finally meet you." Harm shook hands with a bespectacled older gentleman in an expensive suit.

"Sir?" Harm asked a little embarrassed that he didn't recognize the man nor have any rank to address him by.

The man introduced himself. "Alexander Nelson. But I believe you know me as the Secretary of the Navy."

"Sir!" Harm snapped to attention, amusing the older man.

"At ease, Lieutenant. After all, you're the star of this event." the SecNav said posing for pictures with the tall Lieutenant. "Now smile." he ordered and Harm obeyed.

After a few pictures, Nelson let go of Harm to continue his glad-handing of the VIP guests. Bud Roberts came up to Harm and exclaimed "You got to shake hands with the SecNav, sir. That's totally amazing!"

Harm looked embarrassed. "Uh, I guess."

Kate gave him a knowing wink, "Don't worry about it, he just became SecNav earlier this month. He's here to make sure everyone knows who he is... and shaking hands with a bona fide hero won't hurt him any."

"I'm not a hero..."

"Is that modesty I hear coming from Rabb?" a voice said and Harm turned around to find the last person he expected to find.

"Keeter?"

Jack Keeter slapped his old Academy buddy on the back, hard. "Knew they couldn't keep you from the sky, Junior."

"What are you doing here?" Harm asked.

"What do you mean, what am I doing here?" Keeter stared at Harm. "And that's 'what are you doing here', sir."

Harm noticed the Lt. Cmdr. stripes. "Sir." Harm said with great difficulty. Keeter let it go without mention as his attention was drawn to the pretty Lieutenant j.g. beside his old buddy.

"Jack Keeter, and you are?" he asked as he offered to shake the young woman's hand.

"Caitlin Pike, sir. You know the Lieutenant?"

Keeter smirked, "Know him? Practically taught him everything he knows."

Harm held his tongue. But Kate saw him roll his eyes and tried not to laugh.

"Does that include flirting with every skirt he sees, sir?" Kate asked with a playful grin.

"Him? Flirt with skirts? Hah, the boy is practically married." Keeter literally ribbed Harm, his elbow jabbing lightly into the handsome JAG lawyer's side. "How's Mac?"

"Mac?" Kate asked.

"He hasn't told you about Mac?" Keeter looked at Harm surprised. "Uh-oh, trouble in paradise?"

"No. Unlike you, I don't take ads out in the Navy Times to talk about my personal life." Harm said mockingly.

"Who's Mac?" Kate asked, knowing 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' was in full effect, but surprised that Harm's significant other sounded like a trucker.

Keeter smiled at her. "How about I tell you all about Mac over dinner? You know, I was there when they first met."

"You were?" Kate was intrigued.

"Sounds like a bad novel. It was a dark and stormy night..." Keeter smirked.

"Jack, if you tell her any lies..." Harm warned.

"Don't worry, Hammer, I'll stick to the embarrassing true ones." Keeter said before turning to Kate. "So what do you say?"

"I say, dinner sounds nice, Commander. Seven?"

Keeter nodded, glad that he had landed himself a date, but maybe more than a little relieved that his main competition, Harm, was out of the running for womankind's affections. Keeter then remembered why he came over and punched Harm's shoulder lightly, "Oh, congrats by the way."

Harm looked at him confused, "What for?"

"Heard they're giving you a medal for your landing."

"Medal? What medal?" Harm asked.

Keeter was about to tease him some more when he realized Harm genuinely had no idea. "Word is you're being nominated for a Distinguished Flying Cross."

"A what?" Harm said stunned, sure he hadn't heard that right. But he had.

oxoxoxo

The press party and photo op had gotten old pretty quick for Harm. He had to recount the details of his landing numerous times, and everyone laughed good-naturedly at his modesty when he replied, "I can't tell you much because I couldn't see much of anything. I think I had my eyes closed half the time."

Unfortunately for Harm, that was the truth. The lights of the carrier had made his vision blurry and he had to close his eyes on the approach. He had relied on memory and a lot of faith to park the plane on the tarmac. The fact that he snagged first wire wasn't lost on him - a few feet lower and they'd be writing his obituary instead of commendations.

After the press conference, Keeter had dragged him to this bar. A couple of drinks later, Jack remembered his date with Kate Pike and left, leaving Harm alone with the bar tab. Harm sighed.

His uniform must have been a babe magnet because Harm could swear that every attractive woman in the place came on to him. He smiled, pretended that he was waiting on someone and let them all down easy. Once upon a time this might have been fun, but now it was just tiresome.

So tiresome he actually brightened up when he saw a familiar face. "Ensign." he waved while trying to remember her name. "Singer."

Ensign Loren Singer saw Harm at one of the tiny tables in the corner, trying his best to not stand out. That was like asking the sun not to shine. His relieved smile had a way of melting even the coldest of hearts. She walked over to his table, glad that she had changed out of her uniform of the day to the slinky red number. "Lieutenant Rabb." she greeted him. "What a pleasant surprise."

Harm smiled, glad for anyone who'd keep the somewhat aggressive Italian women at bay. Not that Harm didn't appreciate aggression... the girl of his dreams had an aggressive, competitive streak herself, one he enjoyed, especially when they were alone together.

Thoughts of Mac made his smile widen, and Singer was smart enough to know that that smile wasn't meant for her. "Lieutenant?" she asked again, drawing him back to the present. He blinked owlishly and trained his friendly gaze on her once more. "Oh, yes, would you mind joining me, Ensign?"

"Not at all, sir." Loren said as she scooted in next to him.

"Harm." he offered a handshake and she returned it.

"Loren." she looked around and noticed the daggers being stared her way by most of the women in the bar. She glared back coldly, letting them know in no uncertain terms that she got to sit here, unlike all of them, and so by extension she was better than all of them and they could all go suck it.

"What do you want to drink?" he asked, prompting Singer to stare back at the handsome JAG lawyer. Up close he was even more beautiful. She gulped. "Anything you'd like, Harm."

Harm had to admit aside from beer, he'd lost his taste for alcohol. It was a conscious decision on his part, he didn't like the idea of getting blitzed when he knew Mac had suffered so much in the past because of it. And once he cut down on hard liquors, it just became easier to stay away and stop completely.

"You don't mind beer?"

"Well, it's not good ol' American, but it'll do." she smiled back.

Harm got up and saw another familiar sight. "Bud!" he called the Seahawk's press officer over.

"Sir." Bud Roberts greeted the heroic Lieutenant back.

"It's after duty. You can call me Harm, Bud."

"But you're still in uniform sir."

Harm looked down and saw, yes he was. But Bud wasn't, he was dressed in a surprisingly well put together shirt and jacket ensemble. "Wanna join us, Bud?"

Bud noticed Singer's pointed stare. "I don't want to interrupt..."

"You're not." Harm smiled and moved aside to allow Bud to sit between him and Singer. She was not happy about this new turn of events. Harm remained standing. "How do you feel about a beer, Bud?"

"Oh, I can get it." Bud offered but Harm waved him back into his seat.

"No, I'm already up. What do you want?"

"Anything as long as it's not a 'Bud', sir."

It took a second for Harm to get the humor, which was as weak as Bud's beer tolerance. Harm smiled. "Got it."

Harm made it to the bar and quickly ordered three beers for the table. He was turning away when he saw the last thing he expected to see.

Sitting at the bar in a dark outfit was the most beautiful woman in the world. Despite the bulky material, her sweater hugged her curves tightly. She polished off another vodka shot and had no trouble topping it up with the bottle she had on the bar. Harm could only stare, stunned that she was there.

Mac. At a bar. Drinking.

oxoxoxo

Sarah MacKenzie stared at the clear liquid in the shot glass for a moment before she threw it back. The next time she saw the glass, it was empty and begging for more. She listened to the temptation.

Somewhere in her head, an old Eagles lyric floated up,_ 'Some dance to remember, some dance to forget.'_ The song seemed like a metaphor for addiction. Maybe. All she knew was she was making vodka dance and disappear to definitely forget.

"Mac?" she heard his voice and froze. As much as she drank, she'd never forget his voice. Never forget him. She looked up slowly and even though the effects of her drink were beginning to take hold, she could still see his face clearly. No, she most definitely could not forget him.

"Harm?" she choked out before realizing by doing so she had given herself away. If she had pretended not to know him he would leave her alone...

"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice low, dark, angry, disappointed.

"What's it look like?" she said grimly, staring back hard, trying to mask her pain with fury. Trying to hide the hurt with bravado.

Harm looked at her and saw that beneath the concealer she wore, she'd been crying. Something was wrong. As if the way she was slinging back vodkas wasn't a clue.

"Mac, come on." he put his hand on hers to stop her next drink.

"Let go." she said with a growl that Harm knew was dangerous. He let go and saw her take another swig of her drink.

"What's wrong, Sarah? Please." he pleaded with her to talk to him.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Like hell there isn't." he said and snatched the bottle away. He half expected her to fight him for it but instead she sat there staring at the empty glass. She stayed that way for long seconds before looking up. When she finally did, he saw the pain, the hurt and the hatred in her eyes.

Not for him, but for herself. Her words though were hard and pointed and aimed at him.

"Harmon Rabb Jr. so righteous, so pure. You never had a weak moment in your life, did you?" she said quietly but the words burned through his defenses and struck him dead in his heart.

She continued, "Oh, wait a minute, I forgot. Yeah, you've had weak moments, of course. Your crash, your long-lost father. Me."

Harm glared at her, aware that even though they were quiet, people were starting to clue in on their scene.

"I'm not leaving." Harm said holding her gaze.

"Then I guess I'll have to." she said before grabbing for her purse. She missed and almost fell but Harm caught her. She tried to push herself up from him but her body was too tired to fight. Her mind too shot to resist. Her soul too crushed to not need him.

Harm wrapped his arm around her waist and propped her up. She leaned on him, her breathing giving way to sobs. The tears had begun again. Harm slapped some bills on the bar, paying both their tabs, before helping Mac out of the bar.

At the table, Singer watched intently as Harm walked out with a woman from the bar. She didn't get a good look at the woman, but she was most definitely drunk, too far gone to even make it out of the bar on her own steam. _Was that what the Lieutenant liked, drunk easy prey?_

"Where's the Lieutenant going? Our drinks are here." Singer heard the male voice beside her say, and she realized she had somehow downgraded from the handsome Harmon Rabb to a pudgy Bud Roberts. Bud was busy arranging their beers on their table.

"What do you think happens when a man walks out of a bar with a drunk girl, Ensign?" Singer asked him as she took a heavy hit of her beer. And looked horrified when she realized she was seated here with Bud and three beers and a heavy need to drown her sorrows. "You know what, it's been a long day." she said and fled the table ungracefully in search for more attractive companionship.

Bud stared at the three drinks and sighed. He looked around and smiled at any pretty face that looked his way. They looked away quickly and Bud sipped on his beer. Alone. Maybe he should have worn his dress whites like Lieutenant Rabb. The women here seemed to like that very much.

oxoxoxo

The door swung open and Harm carried Mac into his hotel room. He kicked the door closed behind him before he carried her to the bathroom and put her in the shower.

She didn't let go of him, pulling him down for a kiss. He resisted her and turned on the shower. Cold water hit her full on and she shrieked. He turned off the water.

"What the hell did you do that for?" she shouted angrily and instantly regretted it. The noise overwhelmed her and suddenly the room was spinning. Harm grabbed her again and helped her to the toilet where she threw up, retching noisily.

It took a few minutes but when she was done, she found that Harm was seated next to her on the floor, rubbing her back soothingly. The smell of alcohol filled the bathroom. She looked tiredly at him and he handed her some diluted mouthwash. She rinsed and spat, getting the taste of bile and vodka out of her mouth. He continued rubbing her back, easing her system, yet saying nothing.

The silence was killing her.

She started to get up and he moved to help but she pushed him away. "No."

"Mac, what's wrong?" he asked with so much concern, it made her hate herself more. He was wonderful and she was doing this to him. Fresh tears fell and they burned, her eyes already swollen from so much crying and yet there didn't seem to be a way to stop.

She felt Harm lift her up onto the bathroom counter and she let him. She also let him lift her head and look him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry." she said haltingly through the tears.

"It's okay." he said softly. She tried to evade his gaze but he didn't let her. "What happened, Sarah? Why are you here?"

Mac gulped and took several deep breaths. _Why was she there? Where should she start?_

oxoxoxo

Colonel Gonzo Walls looked at the stoic Marine seated in front of him. She was the newest member of his unit and over the past month had already proven to be one of his most capable officers. She was relentless at work, sometimes uncompromising but always effective. And always joyless.

Not that he didn't understand why, he had her medical report after all. Walls sighed, maybe he had let this situation go on for far too long but he had honestly believed that when she asked to return to duty immediately after being discharged from sickbay, she was truly ready to return to work. Now he saw it for what it was... she was running from her grief.

"Captain MacKenzie... Mac." Walls addressed her informally, instantly putting her on high alert. She knew what he was going to say, had prepared herself for this talk a long time ago. Walls continued. "It's been a month since..." he searched for a word that described her loss without sounding cold yet also not traumatize her further. "...since..." he repeated and trailed off when he failed to find any words.

Mac though was ready for it. "Since the miscarriage, sir?"

His eyes were full of pity. "Yes."

"What about it sir?" she asked impassively, her stony expression inscrutable.

"How are you holding up?"

She looked at him, her face revealing a bit of confusion at his question. "Is there a problem with my work, sir?"

"No, you've been exceptional, Captain, but that wasn't the question. How are _you_ holding up?"

This time Mac was silent for longer. Walls let her take her time to respond.

"I'm fine, sir." she said, and Walls could see just how much of a lie that was. Fine wasn't being an emotionless automaton, which was the impression Sarah MacKenzie gave off at times during the course of her duties.

"What about... the father? Have you told him?"

Mac was quiet, but just the thought of Harm seemed to shake her normally stony demeanor. The cracks were beginning to show.

"Is he not in the picture?" Walls asked.

"No. He... he doesn't know." Mac kept staring straight ahead, her eyes focussing on nothing as her face tried its best to hide her emotions.

"Don't you think he should?"

Walls saw the dam finally break. "Why? Why does he need to know his child is dead?!" she raised her voice at him before remembering who he was. "I'm sorry sir." she looked horrified.

"It's okay. Really." Walls said reassuringly as he came around his desk to sit in the chair next to hers. He looked her right in the eye. "Feel any better now that you've gotten some of that anger out?"

Mac's head dipped. "No sir."

"Didn't think so." Walls said and sighed heavily. "Mac, you need to talk to someone. It doesn't have to be your doctors, it doesn't have to be me. It doesn't even need to be someone from this goddamn country. But you need to talk to someone. If you want, I could station you closer to your uncle's home..."

"No." she stared firmly at her CO. "I'm sorry sir, but this is my duty stop. I'm a United States Marine and I'm here to do a job."

Her Marine facade was back. In fact that was all that remained, everything else that Sarah MacKenzie was had been reduced to rubble. Walls stared at his stubborn subordinate. "That may be, but you're more than just a United States Marine. And you're not doing me any favors by being less than what I know you are. So I can't order you to talk to someone, but I can sure put you on any goddamn plane I like and ask for a replacement if I so wish." he said sternly.

"Yes sir." she replied just as seriously.

"You have some time off. I recommend you take it, Captain."

"Sir!" she started to protest but stopped when she saw the stern expression on his face.

"This is a war zone, Captain. I can't change what's happened, but I sure can stop you from getting yourself killed." he locked her with a hard gaze. "There's a plane leaving for Naples tomorrow. Take a week. Take two. And if you need more, let me know and I'll see what I can do."

It wasn't a negotiation. Mac gulped down her resentment of his offer. "Yes sir." she said. "Is that all, sir?"

Walls shot her a piercing glare, but it didn't even seem to have the slightest bit of an effect on her. "Yes." he finally said and she rose to leave.

"Thank you for your concern, sir." Mac said without emotion or gratitude.

Walls though said something before she left. He hadn't wanted to bring it up but maybe it would help somehow. "Captain, I know this is not what you want to hear, but... I know a little about what you're going through."

She looked at him surprised. He confirmed. "Three times. And each one killed a little bit more of my wife each time. You have no idea how often she tried to make me leave her."

"Did you?" Mac asked.

"I came close because she kept pushing me away. I know you think that as men we don't understand, but each one of those damn times nearly killed me as much as it did her. It was only when... when she let me in so we could face it together... that we could both move on."

Mac was silent, actually contemplating his words this time. "How is she, sir?"

"She's doing better." Walls said.

"And you?" Mac asked.

Walls tried not to let his own situation overshadow Mac's. She had no need to know that he had a vasectomy so that he'd never put his wife through the pain again. That the Walls family would have no offspring short of adoption.

He answered, "As long as I have my wife, that's all I need."

Mac nodded. "Thank you sir." she stated, this time her gratitude was sincere. She left.

Walls hoped that Mac realized what he was trying to say was that no one got over the death of a child alone. She needed to open up to someone the same way he and his wife needed to with each other.

oxoxoxo

Mac was seated on the bathroom countertop as she looked into Harm's eyes. She accepted the tissue he offered. She dabbed her eyes dry and wiped her nose clean.

"I'm sorry." she apologized again, "I... I didn't want..."

"Didn't want to what, Sarah?"

"Colonel Walls gave me some time off." she changed the subject, confusing Harm.

"Why? Did something happen in Bosnia?"

"...Yes." she said barely above a whisper.

"What?"

"I... I..." Mac stared into his eyes and knew she couldn't lie to him. She tried, she really tried to keep him out, but she needed him. Selfishly she needed him. "I lost our baby."

Harm stared back, stunned at her words. "What?" he asked.

Forced to repeat, Mac lost it. "I lost our baby!" she shouted at him angrily. "I lost our baby! What don't you understand?! I lost..." her voice cracked and she wailed.

Harm pulled her into a hug and held her tight. His hand stroked her back, letting her know he was there. He held her in silence for a long time and once he felt her body stop shaking with grief, he looked back at her.

"When?" he asked, and Mac took a deep breath before answering.

"Does it matter?"

"Sarah. When?" he pressed.

Mac spoke, recounting the events that led them here.

"When the rocket hit, I was caught in the blast wave and... I didn't know, Harm. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry..." she closed her eyes.

Harm held her closer. After a few seconds, he spoke. "I love you, you know that right?"

Mac didn't believe her ears. "What?"

He pulled away and looked her in the eye. "I love you."

"How can you?" she asked, unable to hold his gaze.

"Because I just do. Nothing can ever change how I feel."

"But I let you down."

"You saved three innocent children. Hell, you saved fifty families." Harm said firmly.

"I killed our baby."

"No, you didn't. You didn't kill anyone, Sarah. It was an accident." he said before sighing "Am I sad? Yes. I think you'd be a wonderful mom and I would like nothing more than to be the father to your children. Our children."

Her big expressive eyes looked into his and saw how tears were threatening to spill from his crystal blues.

Harm pressed on, "But it wasn't time for us. And maybe we're suffering now, but you Sarah, you saved a family from a fate a million times worse than this. We barely knew our child. Can you imagine what it would be like to lose someone you already knew and loved and had spent years loving?"

"It would kill me."

"Exactly. So Sarah, you saved three children, but you saved many more lives. And for that, how could I love you any less? Because all I see is the strongest, bravest person I know. A person I admire. A person I want to be worthy of."

Mac clung to him. "I love you. I can't lose you."

Harm said the words she had said to him years ago in San Diego. "If you love me even a fraction of how much I do you, you never will."

He leaned in and kissed her. And Mac felt her soul begin to heal.

oxoxoxo

Hours later Mac woke up and found herself on the bed. She was in a bathrobe, her wet clothes having been sent to laundry. Harm's arm was wrapped around her stomach, underneath her own hand. She looked behind her and saw that he was still partially dressed - he wore his undershirt and his dress pants, and he too had nodded off as he watched her sleep.

Sleep. Mac knew that it had been just that. He held her as she slept - as she slept and didn't have nightmares for the first time in weeks. She sighed and loosening his hold on her, turned around to face him.

He felt her stir and forced himself to wake. He looked at her sleepily and saw that she was staring at him intently. "What?" he asked, his tongue still not awake enough to form more complex words.

"I'm sorry about all the things I said in the bar." Mac looked at him guiltily.

He closed his eyes for a second, thinking back to her words uttered in anger. When he opened them again he rewarded her with a kind smile, "You know, you're not just a drunk. You're a mean drunk." he said teasingly before leaning in to kiss her.

It was slow and light, his lips caressed hers gently, his tongue not seeking access to deepen the kiss, yet neither was it completely chaste. When he finally pulled away, she put her head on his chest and listened to the calming rhythm of his heart.

"I fell off the wagon."

"Do you want to stay off?" he asked as he ran a palm across her back in a soothing motion.

"No."

"Then you're back on again. What is it you told me once? Day..."

"By day." she completed the mantra. "I thought I was past that." she said before laughing a little sadly, "I guess in a way it's fitting. Nine years ago you found me in a bar trying not to take another drink and here you are, doing the same thing all over again."

He smiled at the memory of their first meeting, "Well, it is fitting I guess." He tapped her playfully on the tip of her nose, drawing her attention. "If I recall right, nine years ago I was trying to get you into bed and look where we are now?"

Mac listened to his heartbeat, marveling at how strong it was, like him.

"I can't believe how weak I am." she said softly.

"Honey, you're not weak. You're human." he sighed as he pulled her tighter against him. "You wouldn't even want to know what I would have done if I were in your position."

"What would you have done?" she asked, her eyes seeking his.

"Probably not stop drinking, even if you begged me to."

She was surprised. "Why?"

"Because I don't have your strength or your character."

His honesty melted her heart further, "You're my hero."

"And you're mine."

She didn't know how it was possible, but she couldn't help but fall even deeper in love with him. She reached up and kissed him, moving until she had him pinned under her body.

"Mac..." he hesitated. The bruises all across her body were now nearly invisible, but they weren't completely gone.

"It's okay. It's been five weeks. I'm fine." she said as she started removing his clothes.

Harm allowed her to undress him, letting her set the pace. The truth was he needed her as much as she needed this. Up to now he'd been concentrating on her, but the impact of her words were finally beginning to sink in. He had been a father... but not any longer.

They made love, slowly, gently, each one reassured the other with words, touches and kisses, reaffirming their bond and healing each other's pain.

And when sleep finally claimed them once more, they held each other close, both seeking solace and both finding comfort and love.

oxoxoxo

Morning came too soon for Harm. He stood in the bathroom, looking in the mirror as he ran a safety razor over his day old stubble. He rinsed off the shaving cream from the blade in the sink before looking back up and seeing Mac leaning against the bathroom door. She looked amazing, as she always did, but after a night of lovemaking she looked even more so.

"Morning." he said at her reflection with a sleepy smile. He hadn't gotten much rest, but he wasn't complaining. There was a ten hour flight ahead of him, offering plenty of time and opportunity to sleep.

Mac walked towards him, wearing only a bathrobe and a heart stopping grin. "Morning." she replied and leaned against the countertop, watching him shave.

"Do you want breakfast?" he asked as he worked the razor under his chin, staring at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Do we have time?"

"Not really, no. But you do."

He finished off and realized she'd gotten quiet all of a sudden. He dabbed the towel across his face and looked at her. "Mac, are you okay?"

She looked back. "I will be. I wish you could stay though."

"I wish I didn't have to leave. But I don't think Admiral Brovo's going to let me call in sick right now without alerting the media first."

She smiled and ran her hand over his smoothly shaven jaw. "We should get dressed then."

"You don't have to."

"I'm not going to stay in a hotel room naked and alone, Harm."

"If you stay in the room naked, I doubt you'd be alone for long, Mac."

"Mmm, sounds tempting. Do I get to choose my companion?" she said as she ran her hands over his arms and moved them to around her waist.

"Mac, I have a plane to catch."

"I guess, so do I." she said, releasing him, letting him get changed.

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "You're going back?"

"Yup. Colonel Walls gave me some time until I got better."

"You're better?"

"Not completely, but enough. I know it sounds sappy, but knowing that I love you gets me past this."

"You can take a few more days."

"Without you here, what would be the point?" she said, before her tone became teasing, "Besides, aren't you afraid another sailor might sweep me off my feet?"

"Constantly. But I also know you pretty much knock every man off theirs with that sexy smile of yours."

"Don't get me started on sexy smiles, Harm." she said as she sorted out her clothes. Laundry had come back with her clothes and underwear this morning, freshly cleaned and dry.

Mac decided to see Harm down to the lobby and stood with him as they waited for his JAG partner Caitlin Pike. Harm found out that after striking out at the bar, Bud Roberts had caught a late transport back to the Seahawk while Kate and Harm were scheduled on a local hop to Milan before flying back direct to D.C.

The elevator doors opened and Kate stepped out with several Navy personnel but none of them was Jack Keeter. Last night was pleasant, her date with Jack had been fun, a lot of fun, yet nothing about him told her he was actually capable of being serious enough to be more than just a good roll in the hay. Not that Kate didn't mind the occasional good hay roll, but neither was she in the mood for that last night. Jack had been a gentleman about it, enough for Kate to give him a chaste goodnight kiss followed by a face full of door.

Kate saw her JAG partner in the distance, standing with a tall, and even Kate had to admit, beautiful brunette. After Keeter's stories last night, she surmised that there was only one woman who'd get Harm to look at her that way.

Seeing Kate in the distance, Harm waved her over towards them. Mac saw the rather attractive brunette that was Harm's partner and irrational as it was, Mac had to admit she was jealous of the girl named Kate. After all, she got to be in the same room with Harm all day, every day.

Not wishing to draw attention in such a public forum, especially with him in uniform, Mac let the back of her hand touch against the back of his lightly. He turned to look at her. "Tell me when you make it home, okay?" she asked.

He took her hand in his and gave it a light squeeze, "I already am home, Mac." he said, and Mac knew what he meant. Them together, wherever, was home.

When he didn't let go, Mac reminded him, "Your partner's waiting for you."

"I'm sure she'll understand." he said not taking his eyes off Mac.

"She's cute." Mac said, eyeing the girl.

"I guess." he said, still not taking his eyes away from her.

Mac stared at him. "You expect me to believe you haven't checked her out?"

"I guess I've been distracted. You see, there's this Marine whose on my mind a lot."

"Oh, anyone I know?" she asked playfully.

He gave her his patented flyboy grin before finally letting go of her hand. "See you around Marine." he said with a wink.

Mac smiled as she watched him join his partner. "See you around, flyboy."

* * *

**AN:** Sunnier days ahead. I promise.


	10. Florida, 1996

**AN: **Hey everybody! You guys totally rock! Thank you so much for all the love, feedback (and patience) for this series. I admit when I started this, I didn't think I'd have enough inspiration to write these many chapters.

Originally, this chapter was going to another time and place (which I haven't found time to write either), but after the last two chapters, I promised sunnier days so I decided on an unscheduled (slightly fluffy) stop instead.

This is set just before the Season 1 episode 'Defensive Action' - the episode where Harm was promoted to Lt. Cmdr.

I'm sorry it took so long, real life demanded I live it. Finding opportunities to write has been difficult this past month. I just hope this chapter is worth the time I took to write it, and the time it takes for you to read it. If not, no refunds! :)

* * *

**CHAPTER 10: FLORIDA, 1996**

MARCH 1996  
MIAMI, FLORIDA

Harmon 'Harm' Rabb Jr. leaned against the white rail of his stepfather's beach house and took in the view. The sun was beginning to rise, turning everything it touched gold.

Harm had initially been very resistant to the idea of using any of his stepfather's resources but the minute his mom heard of his plans, she had flown over to D.C. to practically press the keys to this place into his hands.

"I'm not doing it for you, Harmon." she said and Harm couldn't help but smile at her comment. And that was when he finally gave up his foolish pride and accepted the keys.

His mother was doing it for _her_. Why should he do any less?

He felt the arms of the woman they were all doing this for wrap themselves around his waist, and felt her lips caress his bare shoulder lightly. He turned to her, his gentle smile widening as he took in the sight of her beautiful face.

"Hey." he said to the woman of his dreams and she smiled back at him. A sea breeze whipped strands of her short brunette locks across her face, making her brush it back casually with a hand. Her skin in this light took on the color of bronze.

"Hey back at ya." Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie replied. "You got out of bed early."

"Miss me?"

"Bed got cold."

Harm's grin widened. "Sorry, I was just... caught up in the moment I guess." he said as he stared out at the sunrise once more.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"Your money's no good here." he said with a laugh. "So I'll just have to tell you for free."

"Mmm... free thoughts. What if I want a refund?" she joked back.

"Then I'll have to repay you some other way." he whispered against her ear seductively, leaving no doubt as to how he planned on repaying her if she so wished.

She stepped into his embrace and they stared out at the sunrise together. "So out with it, sailor. What's got you worried this beautiful morning?"

For a long second all she got in response was the gentle rise and fall of his chest against her back. She didn't want to rush him, but his silence was testing her patience.

He finally spoke. "I'm thinking of going for my carrier qualifications again, Mac."

That was not what she was expecting.

Harm felt Mac stiffen in his arms and looked down to see her reaction. It was the one he feared, her confusion, her anger, her hurt, all revealed on her face.

"You want to go back to what almost killed you the first time?" she asked.

"It's what I was trained to do."

"And what was law school? A side project?" she asked, her anger rising to the fore to mask all the fear she felt.

"Mac, you're a lawyer and you're out there dodging bombs and bullets." he pointed out that she faced far greater risks than he would.

"That's just the situation I'm in. My job still asks me to settle legal issues Harm, even provide advice. What are you going to do, give legal aid at Mach 2?"

"I thought you'd understand."

Damn him. Damn him for putting this on her. "Oh, I do understand. Nothing is more important to you than flying. Nothing will ever be more important to you than flying." she said angrily as tears threatened to spill.

"You know that's not true." he locked gazes with her, hoping that she'd see just how true that statement was reflected in his eyes.

"Is it? Prove it."

"Don't make me choose, Mac."

"Damn it, Harm. Damn you." and the first glimpse of tears finally spilled. She broke away from his hold and rushed back inside the beach house.

oxoxoxo

Harm found her with her back facing him. She was leaning over the kitchen sink, her face grim and determined to not reveal any weakness. She tried to hold back the tears but the more she fought it the more they flowed.

He closed the divide and was instantly behind her. He pulled her to him, burying his face in her hair, holding her close. "Mac, please don't cry." he begged, feeling so completely powerless to do anything else.

Through the tears he heard her say softly, "I can't stop you, so I won't."

His heart bled. "I don't want to lose you." he voiced his greatest fear.

She blinked away her tears before turning in his embrace to look up at him, "Harm, I can't stop loving you even if I wanted to. And that's why I won't stop you. Just answer me this."

"What?"

"Does any of this have to do with Luke?"

Harm tensed. He was trying to prepare for this moment in the conversation before he told her about his plans, and he hadn't prepared enough.

Luke Pendry, Harm's flight school roommate who had been a close friend through the years. Luke Pendry, husband to Annie, father to Josh. Luke Pendry, killed 3 months ago in a freak crash leaving behind a widow and a young son.

Harm took a deep breath. "No." he said.

"Don't lie to me Harm. Please." she pleaded softly.

Harm looked her right in the eye, "It's nothing to do with Luke. Is that why you're so freaked out? Because of his crash?"

"Not just because of his crash, Harm. I almost lost you once."

"Mac, I could get run over crossing the street tomorrow." Harm said lightheartedly.

"Great, now I have to worry about that too."

Harm chuckled. He pressed his lips against her forehead and felt the stress start to fade from her body.

"What do you want, Mac?" Harm wiped the tears from her cheeks.

She looked up at him. "I want you to promise me you'll live long enough for me to kill you when I'm ninety."

Harm smiled, "I promise."

"Don't make a promise you can't keep."

"I haven't yet." he said and leaned in to cover her lips with his.

oxoxoxo

The smell of eggs and bacon frying tickled Harm's nose and his eyes popped open. He found himself naked in bed, and regretfully alone. He looked across the one bedroom beach house and caught sight of Mac standing in front of the stove in one of his shirts, her long, slender legs making the hem of the shirt ride heart-stoppingly high whenever she moved.

Harm peeled back the covers and pulled on shorts before going over to her. "Morning." he said sleepily, running fingers through his sleep mussed hair.

"Don't you mean afternoon?" Mac smiled over her shoulder at him. "It's after 1200."

"And you're cooking bacon and eggs for lunch?" he asked as he leaned on the small kitchen island separating them.

"Some sailor didn't feed me breakfast this morning. Figured a girl's gotta do what she's gotta do to get some service around here."

"Oh, you weren't complaining about the service in there." Harm motioned with his head back to the bed.

Mac giggled before returning to the topic of breakfast. "There's some coffee in the pot. I don't have any salad for you... is eggs and toast going to be okay?"

"Bacon sounds mighty fine too, Mac." Harm said as he followed his nose to the freshly brewed pot of go juice. He poured himself a cup.

"Are you sure?" she asked worriedly.

He smiled at her, "Babe, there are some things in life you just don't say no to. A beautiful woman, a cup of coffee and a plateful of bacon." Harm smiled as he took a sip of the brew she made.

And was almost floored by the strength of it. His eyes were now as large as saucers, sleep now a distant memory... possibly forever. "Whoa, what the..."

"Sorry. I forgot not to make Marine strength." she apologized.

"Marine strength? Lord, I think they could power nuclear subs with this goop."

She waved the spatula at him. "More cracks like that and you're feeding yourself, mister." she warned, but the smile that tugged at her lips let him know she wasn't serious.

As they enjoyed breakfast at lunchtime, the topic turned to when she had to leave. With the Hague soon convening to prosecute the war criminals of the Bosnian conflict, Mac was going back to the war torn country to source interviews and chase leads so that the prosecutors could build their cases. While it wasn't glamourous, it was important work, and more importantly it was a way for the tens of thousands of innocent lives destroyed to finally have their say.

There was also a state of flux at JAG itself, with Admiral Brovo stepping down as JAG - political ramifications due to his own handling of the Tailhook investigation from years past. He'd gone after the Navy's biggest with all he got, and as a result had stepped on far too many toes in Washington. He had to go and he had to go quickly.

So they gave him a third star and promoted him out of D.C. and now were looking for his replacement. There were several candidates, though the two far out in front were a two-star Admiral by the name of A.J. Chegwidden, and Mac's former CO at Okinawa, Brigadier General Gordon Cresswell.

"You rooting for Cresswell?" Harm asked Mac.

She paused in between bites, "He's a longshot, you squids like keeping it in the family." she said with a smile. "Besides, I doubt they'd give it to a mere one-star."

Harm nodded but said nothing. Mac's smile widened. "Why, flyboy? Scared that your new boss won't fall for your charming smile so easily?"

"Technically he'd be your new boss as well." he smirked.

"Ah, but he won't see me. You'll be front and center." she smirked back. "So who you rooting for? Kegwooden?"

"Chegwidden." Harm corrected, knowing Mac had purposely mangled the name before he contemplated her question. "I don't know. I heard he's a former SEAL so he sounds like he could be a bit of a..."

"Hard ass?" Mac offered helpfully.

"Handful, but yes." Harm chuckled.

"Why? You worried he'd ask you to get your hair cut or something?" she eyed his rebellious and definitely not Navy standard haircut.

"I'm just more worried that he'd be a bit too by-the-book." Harm admitted.

"And you think Cresswell's less of a stickler? Sorry to disappoint you Harm, but you wouldn't like him either."

"I don't know, sounds like Cresswell would be easier to get along with."

"Hah! I'm not sure he'd put up with your antics, Commander." she said as she rose from her seat and took their empty plates.

"At least his name's easier to spell. And I'm still a Lieutenant." Harm replied as he followed her.

That gave Mac pause. "Admiral Brovo put your name up for promotion, right?"

"One of his last acts as outgoing JAG. His aide wasn't sure I was deserving though."

"That's Kinsey?"

"Lindsey. Sometimes I think he has it in for me."

"As long as he doesn't have a thing for you."

Harm smiled. "You know, I never should have told you about Krennick."

"Or Kate. Or Meg."

"Jealous of a little competition, Mac?"

She looked up at him, "Oh, I know you'd never cheat on me."

"Really?"

"Not unless you have a death wish." she added.

Harm couldn't quite hold back his flyboy grin. "Hmm... I do like a little danger."

"Is that what I am? A little danger?"

"No, you're definitely a lot of danger." he said as he closed in on her lips.

"Smooth talker." she murmured before allowing him to kiss her silent.

oxoxoxo

The warm afternoon sun made the Floridian air shimmer, making this stretch of beach perfect for a day of lazy fun. The beach was surprisingly empty, beach towels and umbrellas dotted the beach sparsely and sporadically.

Harm admired the barely covered female form lying on the beach towel beside him, his eyes taking their time to drink in every inch of her. She was lying on her front, her nose buried in a Tom Clancy novel about the hunt for some Russian submarine. The top of her string bikini was undone so that she'd tan without lines, and Harm had a hard time not being distracted by the view.

Without looking up from her book, Mac remarked. "You gonna stare at me all day, or do you wanna help me put on some sunscreen?"

"Can I do both?"

"I don't know. Can you?" she said, before a dazzling smile crept over her face.

Harm squirted the cream over Mac's body, all the time aware that his strong attraction to her was causing a reaction in his shorts bound to get them thrown off the public beach. He had to keep a lid on his ardor as his hands glided and slid over her skin. He did so by concentrating on his task, isolating his focus instead of admiring her as a whole. He got her covered as far as her thighs but was undone by her first soft moan.

"Mac..." he said shakily.

"What's wrong, flyboy?"

He settled a little between her legs to let her know what was wrong. She blushed furiously. "Harm..." she warned.

"I'm trying, Marine. I'm trying." Harm closed his eyes, willing some sort of self control over his body, fighting what his entire being wanted in the process. It took several heartbeats, and at the rate his heart was thumping it could have been several hundred heartbeats, before he had enough willpower to go on.

He skipped over her bikini covered bottom, more in a need to stay away from temptation. He concentrated on the side of her hips when he saw it again, the tiny script of ink on her skin. He paused to admire it.

When Mac felt his hands stop moving, she glanced over her shoulder to look at him. And caught him staring at the tattoo.

"Something wrong?" she asked.

He shook his head and looked up at her. "No. Just curious."

"Curious?"

He tapped the design done in black - curlicues wrapped around a sequence of numbers written in fancy script. It wasn't very big, just big enough to wrap around a hip while also being easily hidden if she so wished it. "Just wondering if that's some sort of code, that's all."

She raised an eyebrow at him, "And what would this code be saying?"

A thoughtful look crossed his face before he said with a hint of hope in his voice, "Please return this Marine to Harmon Rabb Jr?"

Mac laughed out loud and the indignant look on his face only made her laugh harder. "Sorry, but no." she finally said as she got her giggles under control. "But rest assured, it does have something to do with you."

"When did you get it done?" he asked, not remembering seeing it when he left her in Naples.

"About four months ago. Early Christmas present to myself." she said before settling down with her book again. "Now keep rubbing, chop chop."

Harm chuckled before returning to the task of applying sunscreen on her back. "Well?"

"Well what?" she asked, moaning softly whenever he touched her. He was sure she was doing it on purpose because there was no way she didn't know what those soft moans were doing to him. He gulped heavily, ignoring her sighs of contentment by concentrating on the meaning of her tattoo.

"Mac, why those numbers?"

"What do you think it means?"

"ATM number?" he teased, successfully making her laugh.

"Nice guess, but no. Try again."

No guess came and his fingers stilled. Feeling it, Mac called back to him, "What's the matter flyboy? Jealous I didn't slap your name on my skin?"

"Sarah." he pleaded softly. Mac knew whenever he used her first name, it meant he was deadly serious. She sighed.

"Harm, it's the most important date in my life." she explained. "It was the day I decided to join the Marines. It was the day I successfully beat drinking... well, the first time I beat drinking." she got up from the towel, a hand holding her bikini top to her to keep herself covered. Her other hand reached out to caress his cheek. "It was the day I met you." she said before planting a feather light kiss on his lips. "And the first time I did that." she added.

"You remember the date?"

"Kinda hard to forget the day your life changed forever."

He let her get settled once again before he continued covering her with sunscreen. "Do you remember any other dates?"

"Like what?" she asked, not looking up from the page she had spent the last 5 minutes trying to read unsuccessfully.

"Like Okinawa."

She blushed. "I don't remember the date, no, but I remember the day."

"I remember the night." he drawled sexily.

"I should hope so, sailor." she smiled.

She felt his warm breath against her ear, "Do you remember the night, Marine?"

She closed her eyes and relived the night. It had been so many years ago but she still remembered every detail. And Mac knew that even though she denied it at the time, she had been madly in love with him even back then. She felt his lips work their way lightly from her ears to her jaw, to her neck where he lingered, working on giving her a hickey she would have to cover with concealer later.

But it was when she felt where his hands had wandered when she remembered where they were and pulled away. "Harm... hands."

"Mmm..." he hummed, his hands more than happy where they were. He enjoyed feeling how hard her heart was thumping against the palm of his hand.

"Harm... we're in public." she sighed half-heartedly.

"I'm just making sure you're adequately covered." he rubbed her softly.

"I... I..." words failed her as his fingers kneaded the soft flesh of her chest, weakening her resolve, ending her protests.

Harm knew he had to stop but she was beyond intoxicating to him. She was his drug, he could never get enough of her. All he knew was he needed her and he needed her badly. He stopped his ministrations and dragged himself away. He looked into her eyes, and saw the same look of desire reflected in her eyes. The same look of frustration too.

"Can you tell me why we left the beach house again?" he asked.

"You suggested working on our tans." she answered, doing up her bikini top.

"I'm tanned enough. Are you?"

Mac smiled at his response, "I could do with a couple more hours." she teased. At his frustrated look she giggled before putting on a shirt for added modesty. "But I suppose I could work on that tomorrow."

Harm was up in a flash and helped gather their belongings. They strolled back to the beach house, each trying their best not to break into a run back to the house. They should have run because as they neared the house, they saw a Navy jeep pull up and a young Petty Officer exit from behind the wheel.

"Captain MacKenzie?" the Petty Officer asked, saluting her, all the while trying to keep his eyes from ogling her. Harm recognized the effort on the young man's face and was tempted to blindfold the man because it was evident that the Petty Officer wasn't trying very hard to not stare.

Mac was caught a little off guard, being called by rank while so completely underdressed unnerved her. She returned the salute casually and asked, "What is it Petty Officer?"

"Ma'am, you've been ordered to be on the next flight back to Europe."

Mac stared up at Harm and saw the same flash of panic cross his eyes that she knew was reflected in hers.

"Europe?" Harm said, trying to ascertain if he heard right. He had.

"Something must have happened." she confirmed before turning back to the Petty Officer. "What time is the flight?" she asked.

The answer surprised them. "As soon as you can pack your bags, ma'am."

oxoxoxo

Harm paced the beach house, still stunned by what little the Petty Officer could tell them. Mac was now on the phone to Colonel Gonzo Walls, her CO in Europe, to confirm the order. When Harm saw that Mac was quickly putting on her clothes and by the way she was nodding even as she cradled the phone against her shoulder, he knew - the order to return was real.

Mac nodded, answering as her CO filled in the blanks, why he needed her back, she was his best investigator and he was sorry to cut short her vacation. "I see, sir. Yes sir. Thank you sir. I'm sorry too, sir. Goodbye."

She put the phone down and stared at Harm. "I'm sorry, Harm."

He crossed over and hugged her. "Duty calls. But hey, you get a whole plane to yourself." he said with a joviality he really didn't feel but had to put on so that she wouldn't feel worse about this.

"I don't get a whole plane to myself. They're just holding the flight." she replied. Whatever had happened in Europe was important enough for the Navy to hold a flight for her, ready to take off the minute she boarded.

He smiled wryly. "Too bad you're not flying Navy first class."

"Navy first class?"

"Tomcat all the way." he said with a dazzling smile.

Mac laughed as she buried her head against his chest. She would have loved flying first class, especially if the man in her arms was the pilot. "Yeah, too bad." she said. After a few seconds, she pulled away. "I need to pack."

He nodded and left her to it. "I'll step out to make a phone call." he told her, grabbing the cordless and exiting the beach house.

As he stared at the beautiful view, he pressed a button on the speed dial. He heard the line ring a few times before someone picked up.

"Burnett Residence." a familiar voice came on.

"Hi Carla." Harm greeted his mom's housekeeper. He spent a few seconds chatting with her friendlily, before asking, "Is mom home?"

After a few seconds his mom came on the line, speaking very excitedly. "Harmon! Oh, tell me, did she say yes?"

"I didn't ask mom."

There was no mistaking how vexed his mom felt at his reply, "What?! Why? You didn't chicken out again did you?"

"I didn't get the chance, mom." he answered, though that was a lie. He had a whole week to ask but he had put it off. He had hoped to do it with a grand romantic gesture instead of just asking her as they lay naked in bed. The perfect opportunity hadn't presented itself.

"What happened?" his mom asked and Harm explained the situation.

"So what now? How long are you going to keep her from our family, Harm?" Trish asked.

"What are you talking about mom? The way you and Grams go on, it's like she's the Rabb and I'm the one trying to marry into the family." Harm said with a chuckle.

"And don't you forget it." Trish grinned before her concern returned. "Harm, you should know better than anyone how life can turn at any moment. And sometimes there's no better time than now."

"I know mom." Harm replied. "But it doesn't mean that the moment shouldn't be perfect."

"I'm thinking as long as you're there, Mac will find it pretty much perfect."

Harm nodded, even though his mom had no way of seeing it. "I... I guess. But it's too late now."

"How many more of these moments are you going to let go by?"

"The next time, mom. I promise."

"Good. Because the next time you visit, that ring better be around her finger." Trish said warningly though Harm could hear the smile in her voice.

oxoxoxo

Mac felt the wheels of the Navy transport plane leave ground and the knowledge that she was once again separated from Harm finally hit home. A wave of anxiety gripped her momentarily, one that the female Navy Ensign beside her confused.

"Don't worry, ma'am. Flying's not that bad."

Mac gave her a weak smile, "It's not the flying that's the problem, Ensign." she said with a laugh. "It's the leaving home."

"Oh, you're from Florida, ma'am?"

Mac didn't answer, not wishing to explain what she meant by home. Harm wherever was her safe haven, the one place where she felt she belonged, where she felt whole. As she settled into her seat, she made up her mind.

She'll do her job in Europe and then talk to Colonel Walls. She wanted to move closer to home. It was time to ask for a transfer back to the States. Back to D.C.

Back to him.

As Mac relaxed in her seat, she let thoughts of Harm fill her mind. And a wide smile crept slowly over her face.

* * *

**AN:** Yeah, not much plot for this chapter. Maybe this is a sign that I should quit while I'm ahead.


End file.
